South Park's VULGAR OF THE APES
by morisu
Summary: Butters and his other four alleys end up on a planet dominated by apes, except their natures might be more reliable than the planet from where the human children's kind came from, and both race eventually learn a dark secret about each other's origins. Which Race will be the intelligent and which will be the ignorant? WARNING: Some episodes are a rehash of episodes from the past.
1. EPI CARTMAN CHECKS IN

South Park's VULGAR OF THE APES

By: Morisu

Episode I: CARTMAN CHECKS IN

On a bright sunny morning the kids of South Park Elementary School went on an average spring field trip to the zoo where the four boys Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny found really really boring due to the fact that all they did was browse around looking at the animals through dirty glass berriers while the animals themselves kept lying down sleeping all day with their backs turned doing nothing and the only ones that were a little active were just the aquatic fish and the penguins who didn't do anything except swim a few times and later stood still on the icy platform waiting for the keepers to feed them which just made this trip to be dull and pointless. Eventually, when it was time to go back on the bus, Stan and Kyle who were hand held partners took a short cut through the primate area to get to the bus on time with the other students before their heartless teacher Mr. Garisson leaves them behind. While passing the gorilla, orangutan, and chimpanzee habitats Kyle was very disappointed as to the other boys after hearing an interview online that both Terrance and Phillip were now thinking about retiring from stand up showbiz, according their interview the boys' craving comedy duo had finally announced that they were going to give up their career and start a new life with their wives and new born Canadian offsprings who were born two months ago. "Can you believe that Stan" surprised Kyle "Terrance and Phillip are now starting to call it quits for their franchise, man that sucks!" "...Well no offense dude but... you would have to admit they have been doing their show for so many years, it might probably be time for them to come to a conclusion or something, face it, it's always been same old gigs over and over and it's probably not all that funny anymore like it use to be. At least that's what I think..." Stan said otherwise. Kyle started to wonder why Stan agrees with this undesirable news considering he too is a huge fan of Terrance and Phillip and always kept watching their same comedic performances on television from time to time and never got old to him and the other boys, "Are you feeling alright Stan?" asked Kyle "I mean you don't seem too surprised that one of your favorite icons are not going to keep doing anymore comedy." Stan groaned at first but then responded "Kyle, did it ever occur to you that reality is comedy?" "...um... What's your point?" "Nothing, it's just that I can't help but wonder, somewhere there just has to be some other place out there better than man." "Like what in particular, more of them aliens we kept coming across?" "Probably, but something else, something... a little new. But that's just me." " _Okay_... why don't we continue playing Battlefield 1 at your house when we get back." Kyle reasoned. Stan didn't mind but he still seem to keep a straight face due to that one thought about the way humanity functions around their planet, since lord knows what he and the boys have to put up every year with the gullible, naive, childish, and misinterpret adults out there who basically have little knowledge.

On the bus, Butters was the only one to enjoy the zoo a whole lot replying, " _Why_ I'm glad I went to the zoo, it's not everyday I go see my favorite animals giraffes, rhinos, hippos, and alligators up close, I manage to take lots of pictures even though most of them had their backs and bottoms turned facing the walls at times." which made Cartman thinking he could push him into one the lion enclosure and be fed upon if they were hand held partners again, luckily he was partnered with Kenny instead while Butters was partnered with Token during the trip, "Get a life Butters." rejected Cartman, "Yeah none of those animals did anything outside from just laying down sleeping and hiding." concurred Stan, "I agree" uttered Token "what's the point of watching animals out there when you can just watch online videos of them on youtube?" As for Cartman, he too was disappointed about the same news Kyle had heard about the Terrance and Phillip show coming to an end, "Oh well, I guess it's for the best, none of the newer episodes were good anyway." he shrugged, " _Whmmf hm mmfff hmf mffmm buffmffm uhmn_." muffled Kenny, "Reruns suck Kenny, you just keep watching the same episode over and over and it just keeps getting old and stale eveytime which just sucks even more!" replied Cartman, "...Actually it would suck even more if I had a Canadian like Kyle's adopted dildo brother living in my house, or even worst, a French person, because GOD knows French people are horrible!" " _Whmf hmege hyu hefffe haermffes_?" "... _Wha_ , of coarse I hate hippies Kenny! Especially jews... but french people are just as bad as they are for five good reasons... One - they don't often bathe themselves, Two - their music are two dimensional and not so modern like today's music, Three - they always walk around holding baguettes and their french smelly ass cheese, they buy alot of them and eat alot of them, Four - they smoke too damn much whenever you're around any of them, it all gets into your lungs very quickly, and Five - ...they also enjoy eating snails and frog legs as well! Like I said, french people are just plain evil, let's hope to GOD one doesn't come to your neighborhood Kenny, if you even have any neighbors, you and your family are way too poor." " _Ffhhugh uhhhf_!"

Afterwards every kid got off and returned home and had a fine afternoon, except for Butters who's parents grounded him to his room for wasting all the photos from the camera after not taking any good pictures of the zoo animals in their out look, but nothing was even less fine to what Eric Cartman found in his house. Cartman jumped into an unexpected surprise as he sees his Mom in the living room chatting with some guy and not just any guy, he was a canadian judging by his appearance wearing a olive green turtleneck sweater! " _Mom_?" "Oh Eric there you are, I would like you to meet our new neighbor _INN_ , _ANnnn_..." "Enzo madame, _Enzo_..." "Absolon, _thank you_ , Enzo Absolon, he just moved into South Park two days ago, he's both french and canadian." " _Bonjour eh_." greeted the new visitor to Cartman who deeply fainted.

Cartman later wakes up in the hospital on a rainy day where his Mom was comforting him and relief that he's awaken from his two day blackout and told him she invited his friends over for some company, _supposedly_. Stan and Kyle were the only ones who showed up after Liane left the room where Cartman tells them the whole incident, "A guy came to my house yesterday." "Who, was it a robber or something?" "...Worst Stan, much much worst..." "You found your real father?" What, uh no Kyle, GOD, ... No, it was someone else, some stranger who is not from here, and it's not human... ...this person... _**was french**_!(random lightning flash)" Kyle and Stan were irritatingly silent when they heard Cartman's lousy actual excuse for blacking out nearly giving his mother a heart attack for hospitalizing him for two days for a few seconds, then Kyle replied "...Seriously Cartman, we're really doing this again?" "What's so horrible about french people?" " _Wha_ , _what's so horrible abou_... everything Stan! I already explained this to Kenny back on the bus about how god-damn horrible they are! Oh and did I forget to mention that this guy is also part... _**canadian**_!(another random lightning flash)" "Canadian?" concerned Stan and Kyle, " _Yeah_ , with his flapping head and biddy little eyes, the dude was also canadian you guys, I saw it with my own eyes!" But their little conversation is slightly interrupted when Cartman's new unfortunate rival showed up with a basket of treats, " _Bonne après-midi_ _boys_.(more random lightning flash from outside once again)" Stan and Kyle were a little surprised to see some canadian stranger walk into a patient's room, "Oh shit!" struck Cartman with overreacting fear, it was Enzo Absolon who approached the uncomfortable Cartman with an innocent emotion, "Don't get any closer frenchman!" "Oh pardon me Eric I did not mean to intrude but with your mother's permission I thought I'd bring you this nice basket full of goodies while she's at work so you go hungry, just until she's comes back to pick you up at eight in the afternoon, _cher moi_ you don't look so well _eh_." " Not with you in here!" "... _I see_ , then might I just set this down somewhere in case you need it or let your friends hold on to it?" "Whatever I don't care now get the hell away from me!" " _Huhh_..." so he handed the basket to Stan before he left leaving him and Kyle to find that to be very disrespectful of Cartman to say to someone's generocity " _yeah no shit_ ", " _Dude_ , what was all that about?" "Yeah all the guy did was just offer you a basket of snacks and goodies inside." "What you expect me to breath into his foul smoking breath when he was coming near me ? Also did it ever occur to you guys about not to take candy from strangers? _Hhhmm_... _Doesn't any of that ring a bell_?!" "... ... _Okay_ I hate to admit it but he's kinda got us there Kyle." "Well at least someone has a brain, and GOD knows what is in that basket, beaguettes, or let me guess hot smelly cheese, cold red burgundy?" "All there is just nothing but a 6 1/2 inch jug of chocolate milk, two small bags of cheesy poofs and snacky cakes, one big chocolate chip cookie in a clean sealed plastic bag, a sealed plastic pack of little debbie frosted glazed donuts, and a pile of jellybeans scattered around the bottom." "See I told _yy_... wait what? Let me see that!" Cartman snatches the basket and finds nothing but what Stan pointed out, " _Heh_ , It's a joke, in very poor taste." he blindly rejected after testing one of the jellybeans with two slight licks, "You sure Cartman because we can take it if you don't want it, I mean the guy did say your Mom made it." uttered Kyle. Cartman didn't care because he's still not taking any chances stupidly believing that well mannered french canadian poisoned it, so Stan and Kyle took the basket with them and said their thank yous before they left, "Well it's their funeral now, if they wanna suffer the french poison, _**then so be it**_..."

The next day after school, Cartman was a little upset because last night his Mom told him the treat basket was from her, and her new aquaintance was generous enough to deliver it to him, but after rethinking this, he's then relieved he didn't take the basket because in his belief his hated visitor might have poisoned it or something, though to him as inferior as that was things became even more inconvenient when he returned to the house and finds the same uncanny french canadian Enzo Absolon chatting with his Mom in the kitchen together, " _Mother fucker_! You again!" "Dear me, Eric you startled me for a second." "I startled you, Mom what the hell is he doing back here?!" "Now now Eric that's no way talk in front of our new guest." "Mom this guy is both canadian and worst of all, FRENCH!" "Eric! Oh pardon me Enzo, but my son does this all the time whenever he meets new people I bring over." "No, no, no! That's quite alright _madame_ , some people around here may find it a little unusal seeing a canadian in their neighborhood, I might as well explain, last year ever since that whole canadian imagration occured, my mother who was pure french suggested I move out of canada and start a new life in the US before she passed away around October, there I began opening my own bussiness down town in Denver, a small bakery store. By the time all the canadian imagrants returned to Canada, however I stayed behind because I made a vow to my mother that my life would remain here in the United States of America considering she did had a _tiny_ bit of american in her." "Oh you poor man well I say you're doing a wonderful thing for your deceased mother." "Yeah well I say he should his thing somewhere else." "Eric that's enough!" "What he's part french and part canadian Mom, and any french guy always has the pleasure of smoking all the time like what he's doing right now, open goddamn the windows before his smoking gets into my lungs!" "Ma chère garçon I am pure smoke free, never touch the stuff." " _Oh yeah_ , then what's that in your mouth?" "What? ... _Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh_ pardon me this be no cigar or cigarette, this just my half finished tutsi pop sucker." Enzo said after taking it out of his mouth proving Cartman's wrong theory, " _Yeah I'm still not buying it_." uttered Cartman which then causes his Mom to send him straight to his room due to his rude reponse to their new neighbor, "But _Mom_..." "No buts I had enough of your attitude today young man, now march!" "So this is it _huh_ , you're really gonna let..." "NOW!" "Okay okay... ... _auh weak_." So Liane's hollering forced her son up to his room while she humbly apologizes to Enzo for her son's behavior, but Enzo once again shows some sympathy and understanding and asked her before left if they could just call each other tomorrow or the next day on the phone once in a while, only if they're not too busy, and she agreed.

Three weeks later, Cartman's been having trouble worrying about that fully grown male french canadian living around South Park over at a one floor apartment down town, but things get even more complicated when his Mom announced at home that she's going out with Enzo tomorrow spending a few nights over at a hotel. Cartman was outraged to hear his Mom go out with the same french guy he finds uncomfortable with, he persuades her not to go but his Mom already made her decision and her son will remain home until they get back, while Shelly Marsh babysits him like last time, " _What_!?" "Now Eric, Enzo is allowing me to go on a three day vacation with him in town, also if your good this time I might bring a little surprise for you when we get back." "Mom you seriously have to go threw with this? Why do I get the feeling this sounds like you're doing another one of your old fashion breeding routines like usual, I mean any french guy can fool women like that." "Don't be such a smartass Eric, I'm going out with Enzo and that's final!" The next day came around Friday in the afternoon but Liane forgot to pack a couple of her clothes including her " _private ones_ " just in time before someone knocked on the door leading her to answer it after Eric was too stubborn to do so. It was Shelly Marsh who arrived to babysit Cartman, his Mom handed her the money for pizza and the list of things to keep Cartman occupied while she was away for the weekend. She then answers the next knocking from the door, this time it was her new date Enzo who brought a lovely bouquet of roses for her, she was simply charmed by his loyalty, "I thought perhaps rose would match the colors of your sweet lips _mademoiselle_." said Enzo flattering his (supposed) date... Cartman's Mom wanted to say goodbye to her son and tell him to call her if he needed anything, but all he could reply were nothing but "... _Go away_... ... ... _Leave me alone Mom_... ... ... _I said leave me alone_ , _I'm want to sleep Mom_... ... ... _No_!..." from behind the shut door of his bedroom. So the two went off on their weekand date, leaving Eric Cartman home with Shelly Marsh babysitting him once again ...or so they think...

It took an hour and a half but Mss. Cartman and Mr. Absolon drove into town and found a nice decent place to relax and spend their two nights together at, a big wood paneled cabin like building with a large red neon HOTEL sign on top called the South Park Riverside Hand Inn Hotel where they had a gift shop inside, eleven rooms on each floor individually decorated with rustic country-style furniture, and a two story balcony high enough to get a fresh outdoor view of Colorado's beautiful mountains from beyond the cities and houses, _all on Enzo's tab_! Cartman's Mom didn't know what to say except she's glad to take a holiday away with a generous escort who's paying most of this trip for her. Later that night after they checked themselves in and moved to the top floor, Liane tries to unpack her two suitcases starting with the one that heavy for some good reason, but Enzo suggested they take a quick look outside on the balcony and see what it's like during night time. They both looked outside and Cartman's Mom was more charmed by all the dazzling stars in the sky, "How beautiful," she said "like diamonds in space." " _May wee_ , so it is, more like shiny jewels, _no_?" Enzo replied, "Oh, um, I suppose, but what is that?" She asked pointed to what Enzo's holding in his arm which was just a book, "Oh pardon madame this is just an old novel I kept trying to finish three days ago, it's one of my favorites made outside of France, The Bridge over the River Kwai, a story centered around miserable British soldiers who are captivated and enslaved by the Japanese into building a railway bridge in Thailand, I'm only down to the last chapter in the book and by far I'd say it's one of Pierre Boulle's finest work ever beautifully written, need I say more _eh_." he said, "Oh Enzo, you are quite the french canadian flatterer." she chuckled. While they kept chatting out on the balcony something started shaking from inside one of Liane's two suitcases and it was the heavy one to be exact, a little hole between the two zippers had something or _someone_ peaking from inside, one index finger poked out and unzipped the whole case revealing to be Eric Cartman who's determine to make sure his Mom doesn't mate with the manage to stowaway into one of his mother's suitcases and was the one that happen to carry some of her sex equipment in case she and Enzo try to hit it on with each other tonight, he burst right out to get some air while they weren't looking.

Meanwhile Shelly who was following parts of the list Liane made for her while she's away went up to Cartman's bedroom door banging on it a few times to get his attention, "Hey get out of bed turd, your Mom's rules were for you to have dinner by seven and brush your teeth afterwords!" "... _Leave me alone Mom_..." "Wha... your Mom isn't here you turd, she left three hours ago." " _I said leave me alone_ , _I want to sleep Mom_..." "I'm not your Mom you fat stupid turd! You better unlock this door or..." " _No_!" That negative respond from the false Cartman voice angered Shelly so much she strongly broke the door down with one big kick like a car crashing through the front window of a house, only to find no one in the room except a dummy shaped Cartman decoy on the bed made of a pile of his pillows wrapped up in his blanket and sheets with a basketball for a head stacked on top wearing a winter hat that looked almost like his after Shelly turned the bedroom light on. " _OOooohh_... That fat turd is in so much trouble now!" cried Shelly in rage because Cartman snuck out.

Cartman quickly hides underneath the beds when he heard his Mom and Enzo coming back into their room where they both try to relax and see what's on TV until his Mom noticed her one personal suitcase was wide open, "...Oh dear I could've sworn I had this case perfectly zipped up..." she whispered while trying to zip it back up without Enzo seeing what she had inside it. Enzo decided release his pet birman cat out of his carrier kennel so that he too can relax since Enzo had no one to keep an eye on her and hated to leave her all alone at home while he's away which is why he brought her here. He let his cat named Abella out, but Enzo had no thought to what she was hissing at under one of the two beds... Cartman's Mom believed she probably needs some love with Enzo agreeing with her theory he picked Abella up and put her on the bed and gently pets her to calm her down, "... _Bad kitty_..." quietly whispered Cartman from under the bed. After putting on her nightgown in the bathroom, Liane's shoulders felt a little sore after carrying most of her luggage including the heavy one Cartman was inside, so Enzo wasn't in bed just yet rolled up his sleeves and decided to message her shoulders while she sat down on the sheet with him relaxing. Eric couldn't take it anymore, especially after a few moaning from those two, he tries to take a peak outside the long end of the same bed he's hiding under where they were sitting on above, but as he squeezed half if his round body out through the front side he then sees that same cat was on the bed too looking down upon him groaning and pounced on top of him before he could crawl back underneath, the kept on scratching and hissing at him which alerted both his Mom and Enzo when they heard a screeching " _AH AH_! _BAD KITTY_ , _B-BAD KITTY_!" "Eric?!" surprised Liane finding her son here in the hotel fighting with Enzo's cat on the carpeting floor, " _Oh fuck_."

Meantime at the Marsh home Stan receives a call from his sister Shelly who angrily asked if he's hiding Cartman at their house, "No he's not, why?" "Because your fat turd friend snuck out of the house where Mrs. Cartman payed me to babysit him, I swear if one of you stupid turds is lying and if Mrs. Cartman fires me for this it's gonna be on both your heads!" "Shelly I swear I'm telling the truth he's not here!" "You best better pray he isn't when I find out turd." she then hangs up leaving Stan to quickly call Kyle who's given the same treatment from Shelly about Cartman's absence, "Just where could Cartman be?" wondered Kyle, "I think we might probably know where he could be, my sister did mentioned something about a date Cartman's Mom was going out on before she left to babysit him." replied Stan, "She's going out with the french canadian person isn't she." Kyle guessed, "Yeah I think so." "Oh good GOD what is it with Cartman ranting on so many people with different races, first jewish people, next there was the chinese, then there's black people, and now it's the french he's getting all worked up about, even though this guy's also canadian no less?" "You know that's kinda what I've been thinking Kyle, I mean doesn't it seem a little odd that _outside from your brother Ike_ a canadian moves into South Park living in our neighborhood of americans while most canadians live up in Canada, I've been hearing this little theory from other people besides Cartman that Canadians don't often get along with americans that much." "I don't know who else told you that but I'm pretty sure we have some canadians or at least mix hyprids hanging around somewhere in the U.S. like normal society." "... ...Sure, normal society..." said Stan sarcastically to Kyle's opinion.

Cutting back to the hotel, Liane was very disappointed with her son Eric for sneaking out of the house and stowing away into one of her private travel bags now realizing why one was so much heavier to carry, so because of this, and after giving Shelly a call, it looks as if she'll have to cancel her date with Enzo, however Enzo disagreed with that stating they still have one more night tomorrow to finish the rest of their date which excruciated Cartman more since he's determine to not let his Mom be touched by a french or canadian due to his incomprehensible belief like with most of his racism nonsense, Enzo's even generous enough to check Cartman in, that way the manager won't find out they mistakenly snuck an extra person into their hotel otherwise they'll be kicked out. He also decided to rent another room next door with his cat allowing Cartman and his Mom to sleep in two separate beds even though she's still very upset with her son and warns him not to say another word for tonight or else!

The eventually turned 7am, Cartman's Mom was getting ready to come down stairs and join her escort for a nice morning breakfast while her disobedient son stays upstairs in her rented room until she returns after their date as a fair punishment or he'll be in more serious trouble if he tries to sneak out and ruin their time again. But Eric, ( _being the insubordinate imp that he is_ ) isn't giving up just yet, punishment or no punishment he still couldn't let his Mom try and make love with this man which happens to be his worst fear to _date_ when it comes down to this, so he disobeys his Mom rule anyway and tries to follow them by unlocking Enzo's vehicle with a car hacking remote he stole from some street robbers last year in case he needed to take something from out of his Mom's or Token's parents' car... ...for some important stuff... he sneaks in and hides in the back seat while they're not looking, and off they went to downtown Denver, they stopped at a baseball park to watch an MBL game with Cartman hiding in the bleachers under their seats, next they drove up to a national park where they went hiking up the rocky hilltops to take a couple photos of them and the park's wonderful landscapes with Cartman hiding behind the trees and a boulder while following them through the park, and finally as it got dark they both return to the city of South Park near a few blocks near the hotel where Liane and Enzo went into Red Lobster's to have dinner together.

They're both having magnificent day so far as they both enjoy eating together and talking together in peace, or again so they think when Cartman once again followed them in sitting in a different table twenty feet away without them seeing him using a bionic ear listening device peaking from behind a three folded menu book to hear what they're saying and what they're doing. "Oh Enzo," flattered Cartman's Mom "you have made this weekand very special to me." " _Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh_ And you mademoiselle, have made this weekend _very special to me as well_." replied her french canadian escort which only grinded Cartman's gears while hearing that. Liane was deeply amused by all of Enzo's affections for her so much she didn't know what to expect though Enzo felt quite sorry for her son Eric as to wonder why he hates him by his race, she tells him her son's always been like this all the time and by her concern it might've had something to do with him never knowing his father, "... _Oh-hoh-hoh_ , a lone boy, without a father," Enzo sympathized "I too never knew my father either when I was his age." "Oh dear I feel awfully sorry to hear that." uttered Liane "...It happens a lot my dear, when your closer to your mother you never know your father or when you are closer to your father you never know your mother, it seen happen in my country so many time, very tragic." Cartman listened very carefully and seem to stop thinking about what they were going to do for a second as his Mom unthinkably thought about proposing to Enzo Absolon, meaning she suggested they should both be wedded so that Eric Cartman will for once have a father and live happily after _etcetera etcetera_ , however Enzo was looking at another woman who looked canadian with a little french appearance judging by her long curvy hair and her black and white striped shirt with a red scarf around her neck who happens to have spotted Enzo sitting with his date like she knows him, she then ignores him poundly turning her head away while sitting and talking with her date who happens to some plain white handsome american leaving Enzo feeling a little down as Liane questions "Enzo is there something wrong? Who's that woman you were looking at?" "...Liane Cartman, I have a bit of a confession to make, as far as I'm concerned we fine times together, but this might be the right time to tell you that... well let's just say I could see it in your eyes that you are asking me for a kiss, or possibly engagement even though we've only known each other for only three weeks and this be only one date." "... _Yes_." "Well I do not wish to break your heart but... the truth is I'm already married, my wife happens to be that canadian french woman you see over there sitting with another man who is an average dashing looking american in particular." Enzo Absolon explains to Liane Cartman the reason why set this whole date up was to make his wife feel jealous and get her to come back to him so they could start all over with their relationship after moving into the United States. Cartman's Mom feels a bit mislead after all the nice things he said about her and all the marvelous things they did together in one day it all comes down to this she should be heartbroken believing that he used her just to get back at his wife for cheating on him, and he didn't told her this to begin with, "Was everything you told me about you moving into South Park Colorado, owning your own bakery shop, and your Mother deceased all I lie?" she asked with a straight face "No no no! My mother's still dead, though I didn't exactly promised her to leave to America I'm only here because I followed my wife after hearing her leave with that man on the flight to this country ...but I still own bakery shop though, it's just up in Canada and not here, plus I have return a favor to my rich french canadian father after letting me barrow all this money from him to pay for all this including my flight ticket back to Canada. At least we had some fun time together haven't we?" he said otherwise, but right when Enzo sees his wife walk out the door with that other man, Liane Cartman didn't throw a fit but instead she quietly tells him that he should just leave right now, she will be packing all her things from the hotel and pick up her son, call a cab, and return home, in hopes that he will never see or call her again. Enzo Absolon excepts her decision and wanted to hand her money for a cab but she hands it back to him replying his money's no good to her, she will be paying her own money for that. So he quietly walks out of the restaurant leaving her in tears as Eric Cartman who after overhearing and watching all that starts to feel sorry for his poor mother for being mistreated that way and tries to come to her needs even if she gets pissed at him for disobeying her one strict rule not to leave the hotel until she came back since he was still grounded but he didn't care as usual, he walked up to her Mom gently asking why she looks so sad, "Oh Eric I... Eric! What on... I thought I told you..." " _Yeah_ , _yeah_ , _yeah_ stay in the hotel room until you got back and keep answering the phone and all that, I know Mom I know, but the... the phones were out of order when I tried to call you, and the room was infested with cockroaches, spiders, and rats, I tried get help from the manager but he couldn't do thing about it he said the..." "Never mind Eric... let's just pack our things and leave, it's getting late and I have to go to work tomorrow, I will call ourselves a cab to drives us back home." gently moaned his Mom rubbing off her anger not bothering to scold him again after being hurt by someone she thought was more loyal and trustworthy to care for and believed that she should have taken her son's crazy advice after all, admitting she had been poisoned, by that man's cunning deceitful impression.

The next day on SNN the tv news had reported last nights terrible accident that happened down town, Enzo Absolon was killed in a horrible car crash while trying to drive back to his apartment! The brain-dead South Park police assumed it had to have been done by drunk driving, but was later examined by highly specialized inspectors it turned out that the break line was missing from the torn vehicle before the crash including the driver airbag midule that was disassembled from his steering wheel, and the driver's seatbelt was loosely cut twice, one web side for strapping the chest and the other web side for strapping the waist, both loosely cut by a carving knife causing the driver to fly out with the web belt breaking loose fatally wounding his head and body as the car crashed into the wall of a building at the middle of a _T_ - _intersection_ while the car kept driving straight all the way down passing red lights nearly causing traffic and he couldn't stop! Judging by these examinations it has been believed to be an assassination attempt but from whom they did not know of. Liane Cartman was shocked to hear what happened to poor old Enzo on the news even if he was a wily manipulative conman but she was at least glad that she didn't ended up in the same fate with her son and were very lucky last night to have made it back home safe and sound.

Later after school Cartman told all his friends on about his Mom's awful date and now he won't have to worry about that canadian french person coming into their lives again, "Gee dude is your Mom going to be alright, especially after hearing about his death that occurred last night?" asked Stan, "Yeah come to think of it, I kinda wonder how that happened? The news also reported that someone snuck into his car and dismantled a few important safety adjustments for an assassination attempt, and just who could've done that...?" pondered Kyle looking at Cartman with suspicion, "Well let's hope someone catches this killer, I mean who knows which victim's car he might sabotage and get the drivers to crash to their dooms!" (falsely) petrified Cartman which worried Butters and some of the other kids on the bus counting Kenny as Kyle couldn't keep arguing about who was responsible for that accident. "...Well at least I don't have to worry about the french canadian guy going near me, my Mom, my cat or my home anymore..." chuckled Eric Cartman with wicked joy revealing to be the one responsible for Enzo Absolon's death after pulling out a carving knife without any of his classmates on the bus looking.

Sadly just as Cartman got home relieved that there's no french person or canadian person living the neighborhood, walks in and finds his mother in a happier mood sitting in the living room chatting with another different male visitor who looks asian! "Oh there you are Eric, I want you to meet our new neighbor Li Hong." "Ni Hao Eric." "He's chinese american." Cartman was disturbed by this rehash so much he resonded, " _NNNNOOOOOOOOOO_!"


	2. EPII CURIOUS JEW

Episode II: CURIOUS JEW

One night at the Brofloski house, before bed Sheila spares a few time letting her husband Gerald show the kids their jewish history by this old ancestry book full of every photo and picture taken from each time period from today's age all the way back to the stone age he and Sheila kept on treasuring this book for years after every Brofloski from time to time as Gerald shows his son and adoptive Canadian son Kyle and Ike a couple photos of their great, great, great, great, grand parents continuing at the 1920s during the Nazi days around World War I when Gerald told Kyle one of their deceased relatives were both part Hebrew and part German who's father was pure jewish while the mother was pure german which surprised Ike when he questioned " _Ger-mans ha-ted jews dad-dy_." "It was the Jews they hated Ike," Gerald corrected Ike, "Hitler wanted to kill all german jews." Gerald also showed them another old relative who during the great depression around World War II was both jewish, german, and russian serving the US army and defeated tons of Wehrmacht (or Nazi) soldiers earning an honorable medal before he died of throat cancer in 1948. But now it was time for bed and Kyle couldn't wait tell his friends at school about this.

By morning at Elementary School, before class started Stan and Kenny were quite intrigued by what Kyle told them about his great great grand father who fought in the american war, however Cartman was not so amused when Kyle mentioned he was both Jewish, German, and Russian making him wonder if he was a mix breed, " _As a matter of fact he was Cartman_ , a lot people have it!" "Oh please Kyle with all that race mixed in one, that would just make him some kind of mutant, a **Jew mutant** Kyle." "Shut your fat racist mouth Cartman, for your information there are a lot of people out there who have mixed races." "Yeah but one of your jew ancestors being part German during the days when Germans kept murdering jews I aint buyin." "That was one of the reasons Hitler tried killing every last one of them you dumbass because he believed that some races were superior while others were inferior, so he basically killed most of the german jews ever since the Holocaust from 1941 to 1945." "How is it that jews can have german blood?! Ginger blood sure, _but German blood_?" "Grow up Cartman any race can have some German blood it's been like the largest of ancestry groups from time to time, besides you almost everyone has it, Heidi, Clyde, Craig, Tweek, Wendy, Bebe, Butters, Kenny, and Stan have a bit of German in em." but Stan points out, "Um, most of my ancestry is French and Middle English." "...Oh, okay well almost everyone, but my point is any race can have the blood of any ancestry who had different races, and hey, GOD knows maybe you might have some jewish ancestry Cartman." Cartman then laughs so hard denying Kyle's theory and replies, "Oh fat chance Kyle, as if my family has any jewish or ginger ancestry!" "Okay then prove it, go to and try looking up your own history if you have one in yur family or not." "Fine I will Kyle, as soon as school's over I'll check at home and if one of us is wrong has to pay up ten bucks for this bet!" "...Okay fine, your on fatass." "Oh and keep Stan away from me, I want be around anyone who has _**FRENCH BLOOD**_." While annoyed by Cartman's racism Kyle and Stan like most people humbly wish he might change all his negativity for for once, if that will ever happen...

As Cartman returned home his Mom helped him search for every single ancestor of theirs out of after paying a hundred wage to discover all of their old departed relatives (outside of one who's ginger). It took until night time, almost midnight, but by far about every historical Cartman bloodline they found online were all but Swedish, Irish, and Middle English races, therefore Eric had nothing to worry about having any Jewish blood until suddenly his Mom missed a few ancestors from the World War I timeline which quickly alerted him after hearing what she mentioned who these other ancestors were, then Cartman was stunned, as it turns out three in particular were pure Jewish, one was actually pure while the other two were only half with one being part Jew and part English and one being part Jew and part Russian! A scream was heard throughout the whole neighborhood nearly waking up almost everyone including Kyle's family causing his father Gerald to wake up and tries to go get a glass of water from the bathroom sink only to see his wife was in there with the door half shut as he discovers a shocking secret... Sheila gently takes off her big red _beehive styled_ hair from her head and placed it on a wooden wig stand revealing to be a toupee, Mrs. Sheila Brofloski was bald the whole time! Gerald took a good look at his wife's true appearance in the bathroom and was not dreaming as he immediately rushed back into bed before she did with her wig reattached and gets back on the covers with his trembling husband who now understands why his wife uses the bathroom every night, usually around midnight.

During the weekend the other three boys heard nothing back from Cartman about him and Kyle's bet proving who's ever wrong about their ancestry for ten "freaking" bucks, someone knocks on Kyle's front door, Kyle answers the door and finds Cartman looking all frustrated wearing a rabbi outfit with the hat and the robe on holding a siddur book in his right arm while holding ten dollars in his raised left hand. Kyle questions, "Cartman what the hell are you doing now?" and Cartman replied, "Take it just take it Kyle, the damn money." Kyle takes the money, Cartman then walks off leaving Kyle to question, "...Did I miss something?"

Meanwhile Gerald too was having a bit of a struggle himself trying to figure out how to fix her wife's problem with wearing a toupee hiding her completely bald head, he tries to get advice from one of his friends Randy Marsh on the phone explaining to him about last night's occurrence, "I just couldn't understand Randy, my wife was bald the whole time wearing a toupee, a she never told me, and GOD knows how long she's been that way." "Jesus Christ I don't believe it, Gerald, your wife is seriously bald, and... that massive hair of hers was..." Randy starts to chuckle like a jackass at this fact, "Damn it Randy this isn't a joke! My wife has no hair and I to help her get hair!" "Well why does it matter you don't have hair either Gerald." "I do so have hair, I mean not much on the top but, my point is, only women of beauty such as my wife deserves to have real hair on her head from top to bottom." "Well I don't know what to tell you Gerald but if you want your wife to have real hair then the least you could that could be crazy or not is to buy some of this head lotion called 5X Beanstalk, it's something my Dad wanted to try out like most seniors making themselves look a little young kind of up to Matt Damon young, I think only Tom's Rhinoplasty sells one of them now." "Tom's Rhinoplasty?" "Yeah I kinda heard it was something about most people not buying them anymore for some reason I don't know, but are you sure you wanted go through with this Gerald?" "If means making my wife look more like her same beautiful jewish self then so be it, and I'm sure you'd do the same for wife Randy." "...Yeah I guess." Good and please oh GOD do not tell anyone about this, especially my wife Sheila." "Cross my hair and hope to cut it all off." "Swear it damn it!" "HELL YEAH!" "...Okay that's good enough." After they both hung up Randy still couldn't get over his laughter with Sheila Brofloski being bald without anyone knowing except for him and Gerald as this causes him to question his wife Sharon in the kitchen she is bald or not, "Sharon, if were really really bald and your hair was only a wig to hide under it, you'd tell me right?" "... ...What? Dear GOD NO I am not bald Randy and not wearing a wig this my real hair!" "Okay I'm just asking, I'm just asking... but you'd let me know right, just in case you had anything to hide?" "Of coarse I have nothing to hide, I'm always honest with everything, just what made you question personal things like that anyway?" "... _Oh um_... _nothing_ , just a little thought."

When it was time for the Brofloskis to go to Synagogue (which is basically a Jewish church) where they always do their Jewish congregation every Saturday while Ike once again has to put on a disguise so no one in there will find out he's not Jewish. However as they went in, Kyle gets a little surprised when Eric shows up in a dress suit wearing kippah with his mother joining him for the judiasm, Kyle walks up to him greeted by his presence then upsettingly asks what in GOD's name is he doing here concerting the fact that he isn't Jewish until Cartman told him otherwise, "Didn't them 10 bucks answers your questions Kyle. I looked up one of my ancestors, I clearly have Jew blood in me, so I kinda am Jewish, there ya happy now, _cause I sure as hell aint_ , now I'm part of their tribe now." "It's quite nice one of the rabbis decided to let my son and I come in and experience their religious culture." said Eric's Mom. There was no time for more questions as everybody all sat down and payed close attention. The judiasm took an hour to end and Cartman was getting very bored doing all these prayers especially when these are the kind of prayers he isn't use to saying when it came to going to a cathlic church. After the cult was over Cartman decided to make an announcement to all the Jews in the building which started to annoy Kyle when it comes to listening to his speeches, "Just so you all know, I am a jew, and I proud to be a jew for all time sake, for many years I always hated Jews until now when I found out I had jew blood according to my ancestry a few nights ago, so I hate to admit and I really really hate to admit it, but... well I _kinda_ thanked Kyle who is jew too for making that possible, hands down!" announced Cartman and all of a sudden the churchgoers including the priests gave a round of applause to his speech, not only his Mom but even Kyle's parents were gullible enough to praise all that which Kyle himself could not believe! "How very amusing isn't Gerald one our son's friends is part Jewish." said Sheila, "I know how hairless... I mean how careless not to think of that." replied Gerald while trying not to give away his wife's secret.

Speaking of hairless, Gerald had to quickly run into Tom's Rhinoplasty for something he needed to use on his Sheila's head while she's fast asleep even if it meant spending $200 dollars for one bottle because that's how much they were. Later on at 11pm when Sheila decided to get drink of water before she went to bed her husband unthinkably drugs her with a sleeping pill after offering her a glass, she eventually falls into asleep with nothing to wake her up in bed as this gives Gerald the right time to release her toupee from her head, "...Ew... ...Sheila I can't believe your scalp is a little lumpy from the top..." he muttered without waking up Kyle and Ike. So he used this powerful lotion with enough magic to grow more hair on the whole bald spot, squeezing only one drop according to the instructions on the bottle (just enough to grow long hair down to the shoulders) and rub it all over. All he had to do was wait until the following morning where Sheila will wake up and look at the new her since the bottle specifically says new hair will literally grow fast every hour which might explain the two hundred price. But after waiting downstairs, Gerald still finds Sheila wearing that same old toupee he threw out the window into one of their garbage cans below while she was asleep last night. She looked so tired and very stressed, Gerald wondered what the bottle said about the hair growing faster at night was wrong, then Kyle started gloating about his Mom being in the bathroom all morning leaving his Dad to think if the lotion had some kind of effect on her, the kind she would not bare to look at in the mirror.

In the meantime Cartman kept on studying more about Hebrew culture and tried practicing every quote he could but it was just too much for him to learn all this judaism and crap, yet he couldn't stop trying because he had Jewish blood "clearly thinking he's pure Jew most of the time". Kyle and breaks the news to Stan letting him know he won that silly old bet with Cartman about anyone having German or Jewish blood or both whether your from a different race or not, and Cartman paid him ten dollars after finding out he had some Jewish blood according to his ancestry. After all that Kyle still feels down due to embarrassment he made back in the synagogue yesterday, Stan then asks, "Shouldn't you feel a little relief Kyle, at least you didn't have to be the one to pay him ten dollars, and who knows, maybe Cartman might have changed his mind of what he says about jews." "That's the thing Stan, this happened before, remember that one Easter day when we were hunting for eggs Cartman then made one of his ridiculous announcements evolving judiasm and being Jewish and all that shit, hell he even apologized for mocking me for being Jewish, only to have two weeks pass when he forgets all about it and move on, I can feel it." "Well try giving him one more chance then Kyle, maybe all his negativity will change this time." Kyle wasn't so sure if he should check at Cartman's house to see if he might have changed his ways or not, but if what he said yesterday was true about having jew blood and he should pay respect to that race then let it be the last time.

Kyle arrives at Cartman's house, only to find him in his backyard burning all the Nazi stuff he had kept in his room due to his liking for Hitler early on and his Mom tells Kyle he's been putting up all the Hebrew decorations all over his bedroom upstairs and is learning to read this Jewish Bible known as the Tanakh ever since a few of their ancestors were Jewish, Kyle could not have been more surprised on how Cartman's changing his racism he could not wait to see him do much good in school when the other kids find out. Cartman approaches Kyle and gives a fair handshake welcome over to his house, "Gee Cartman, this sure doesn't seem like you at all." "Well of coarse not Kyle this is why I'm doing all this now that I'm like I said a jew because I have jew blood, I seems to me that i must pay them with great respect and nothing more but serve the name of good! Which reminds me, Kyle could you just one simple favor for me and you won't have to ever again." "...Okay what's that?" "Oh just some stuff I'm buying but I need help carrying out from the Christian store if that's alright." "The Christian store? Okay I guess." "Thank you Kyle, may the jew lord bless you." While Kyle wanted to question what Cartman wanted with Christian things since he's been having this craving for Jewish culture he then forgets it and decides to help his changed friend with this task anyway.

Gerald wanted to confess to his wife about what he did to her last night after relaxing through all this pressure she had this morning, but he knew how Sheila would reacted if she learns about another one of her husband's stupid intentions, she be extremely furious with him, and yet he cannot hide the truth as much as she hides hers when he discovers a huge batch of hair piled up in the kitchen trash can underneath a couple plates and broken cups... What could this mean, did the bottle work after all and was there some reason Sheila wanted to trim all off? Gerald had to get to the bottom of this somehow, even if it means staying up all night to watch what Sheila's doing in the bathroom late at night again.

The two boys were at a small Family Christrian Store where Cartman bought all tons of these items that were related to Jesus Christ for some reason, Kyle had no idea where Cartman was going to put all that stuff in his house or how he was going to fit all of them because he bought almost everything from the store with his huge saved allowance. Later that night Kyle helped Cartman gather all the Jesus products into the backyard where his Mom's cook out fire pit was on after getting permission from his Mom to roast marshmallows outside except that wasn't why Cartman wanted the fire pit on. Cartman now reveals this horrible reason to Kyle why he bought all these items related to Jesus Christ, it was because he's going to create a whole bonfire burning every last one of them which horrified Kyle not understanding why, "Are you nuts!?" shocked Kyle, "Why the living hell would go through is, I mean this is the symbol of the loving Christ your trying to engulf into flames, Jesus Christ!" "Fuck Jesus Kyle!" "...Dude don't say the lord's name in vain!" "Why not Kyle, as both jews who never celebrate Christmas, and Jews who don't believe in Jesus Christ we should exact our revenge against all advertisements of who these goddamn Christians worship! As I read the bible, all the hebrews hated Jesus Christ, I mean... well we're kinda the ones who nailed him to the cross billions of years ago and I'd say we should honor our hebrew ancestors for what they've done in the past, is that much of a crime?" "You damn right it is!" "What?" Cartman have you looked in a fucking mirror lately, something tells me all this stuff about my race really screwed your head on too tight!" "Don't fight it Kyle, we are jews and we celebrate a different religeon." "Just because there are other races who have own beliefs of GOD doesn't give them the right to destroy other peoples' religion you fat blind incomprehensible racist!" "...Okay fine I'll do it then, at least I know what's best for my people Kyle." "You are not all Jewish you dumbass, and you'll ever live to that race, now put out that damn fire pit!" "... _No_." Cartman keeps denying Kyle's judgment and tries to begin tossing one of the crosses starting with the ones that were hung up in the walls of his house until Liane showed up outside from the kitchen back door to tell Cartman about their real ancestry! "... _What_?" he uttered before he could burn any Jesus item into ashes.

She explains to her son she received a call from costumer service who immediately told her there was a little mix up at the office as this ancestry page belongs to a different Cartman family up in Europe and they have their real files were posted back online where they can learn their real history after apologizing completely on the phone for the inconvenience. It took a while but just about every Cartman relative Liane found were all Italian, Scottish, and Middle English, _all who were Christian_ , not one single sibling in the whole Cartman family tree was Jewish. Cartman was silent at first but then he responded, "...Huh, no wonder my Mom and I couldn't find my ... _ **ginger dad**_... online." So Cartman was now relieved that he has no Jewish blood in him and didn't have to participate in any Jewish related culture as he ended up dumping most of the decorations into the fire pit instead of the Christian ones which may have upset Kyle a little but then again he's been through worst shenanigans Cartman pulled off before. But now that Cartman knows about his true ancestry he then asks Kyle to give him back the ten bucks he offered from the bet and ten more from Kyle because he was wrong about having Jewish siblings, Kyle only gives him back the $10 but Cartman still demanded ten more because Kyle lost the bet, but Kyle then replies, "Go suck one of your ancestors dicks Cartman." and walks back home as Cartman mutters, "...I'm gonna kill you one day Kyle, one day you fuckin jew..."

Cutting back to the Brofloski house, late at night while the kids were asleep Gerald once again sneaks over to the bathroom standing in the dark hall to see why Sheila's still in there at this hour. The door was locked and he heard his wife whimper inside feeling hurt, Gerald finally decides to tell his wife about her precious secret. He knocks on the door calling for her, but she just tells him to go away where this gets Gerald to spill the beans, "Sheila I know about your secret, your bald if that's the correct answer." Sheila then opens the door in a slight pinch facing each other from side to side, "How long did you know about that Gerald?!" "Just a few nights ago when I got up to use the restroom, the door was open a little and I saw you doing something with your hair and seems you've been wearing a toupee for GOD knows how long. Is this what you've been doing every midnight?" "...Okay it's true, I've been wearing a toupee over my shaven head for so many years ever since we were married, I didn't want you to know otherwise you wouldn't find me attractive without any hair." "Oh Sheila, you can still be beautiful on both inside and out, because I put some special lotion on your head while you were asleep the other night." "WHAT, WHAT, _WHAT_!? You did this to me?" "Did what to you, all I was going to do was help you grow new hair so that way you won't have to keep wearing a toupee." "So that's why I found my wig lying in the garbage can outside!" "What's bad about getting new hair, did it not come yet, because..." "Oh it came alright!" the upset Sheila opened the door wide open to let Gerald see that she grew much longer hair that was down to the floor all over her feet, only to find out that Gerald has long hair coming down to his chest as it turns out he used the lotion for the bald spot his top head which made him understand why no one buys this stuff anymore and only Tom Rhinoplasty's rarely sells them, "Gerald, your hair and beard are way too long!" "Maybe I shouldn't have taken a few drops on my top head last night." "This what I was trying to tell Gerald, I am bald because I keep trying to shave off all my hair." " _Huh_?!" "When reached adulthood like my mother and her mother before her, we always kept growing longer hair that wasn't as normal like any average most people hairs, mine always kept growing a lot which is why I always were a toupee all the time. I still have hair Gerald, but I sometimes have to shorten it, even if it has to be my whole head in order to keep it from growing every hour." " _Sheesh_ , I guess I don't know what too say except I hope you can forgive me for growing more hair on your head without you knowing, even though you've been keeping this secret to begin with." "... ... _H_ - _huh_ - _h_ - _h_ - _h_ , well I guess you're right Gerald, I probably should have told you this long ago and I hope you can forgive me too." "Well I don't think it would hurt to live with one little white lie, I mean kept one secret from our son Kyle believing Ike was Jewish granted he already learned about that but my point is we can always sometimes hide personal things as long as they're nothing to do with murder or anything like that." "Perhaps your right." "Hey tell you what, why do we both start trimming all this down including mine and get back to bed, it's getting really late, but before we do that, how about a sweet kiss to make up for all these misunderstandings." "...Alright, but your so damn hairy Gerald." So both Gerald and Sheila shaved off most of their hairs and returned to bed, this lesson just goes to show everyone that you can still keep a dirty little secret from your wife and kids, even if know em your whole life, keep on lying until you pass on, lie free or die hard.


	3. EPIII THE LAND AFTER TIME

Episode III: THE LAND AFTER TIME

During lunch at the Elementary School Cartman immediately rushed from the hallway up to Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Token, Clyde, and Craig to tell them this unbelievable news about what Butters did to Scott Malkinson, he tells them Scott was talking about how he needed to take his insulin shot, then out of nowhere Butters said he's sick of people with diabetes feeling sorry for themselves, Scott told Butters to shut up and Butters started beating him up! "You're talking about Butters." Stan said, "Dude I'm telling you! Butters beat the crap out of Scott, and then locked himself in the bathroom!" replied Cartman, the other boys get concerned and leave their tables to the restroom around the corner of the cafeteria with Jimmy joining them. Stan bangs on the door, "Butters." called out, "Leave me alone!" cried Butters from behind the locked door, "Butters come out here." "Get out of here, all of ya!" Kyle next up calls for Butters saying, "Butters people just can't go around beating up people who have diabetes! Now whatever your problem is you just..." "You just think you know everything don't you Kyle!?" hollered Butters after running out of the restroom up to Kyle "Every little thing you gotta shoot your mouth off like you're the frickin' expert! Well you don't know everything because your best friend Stan is a kid who thinks the entire planet revolves around him and he only cares about HIS image!" Butters then excoriates not just Eric Cartman but the rest of his male classmates for being stuck-up and disingenuous, he also states the only kid (or only person) he believes has any sense of dignity is Kenny McCormick, he eventually runs back into the boys' restroom and locks himself back in leaving Stan, Kyle, and the rest of the group stunned and silent.

Later on the principal reports Butters negativity to his irrational harsh parents who were deeply disapproved with this (even though they're always disapproved at whatever Butters does and often blame him for things he didn't do) and demanded to know why he's acting like this, Butters his parents he is pissed off, his father Stephen Stotch threatens to ground Butters, but then Butters goes up to his spiteful Dad tells him to shut up at his face which surprised him after not being talked back like that before alongside his mother Linda Stotch who too were left stunned and silent, only for five seconds until Linda says, "Stephen are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Yes, our little butters is flowering." Stephen replied. Stephen explains to Principal Victoria that this isn't his son's fault and this has to do with biology, he even says that Butters isn't like other students letting the principal know that he and his family were not from South Park, Colorado, "Ah I'm sorry but I don't understand." confused Principal Victoria, "Please, just try to understand that for our people it's a very private matter. He can't be helped by your discipline, this must be dealt with by his own kind. Please, It's a cultural thing." Stephen said. He then tells her that Butters must have an extended leave away from school.

At the Stotch residence, Stephen and Linda argue about their son leaving, but Butters demands to know what's going on, they explain to Butters that he is a native of Hawaii which means he and his parents are originally from Hawaii. Stephen pulled out a photo book with him and Linda when they were young and got married telling him the traditions of the Hawaiian people, "We drink chi-chi's from the coconut. We eat poke that the Safeway provides. And when we've chosen a mate, we marry at the fern grotto, as your mother and I did so very long ago. As a Stotch, Butters, you are actually hawaiian royalty. Your grandpa and grandma were there at the time of The King (Elvis Presley)." "But what does being Howaiian have to do with me acting like an emo chick on her period?" "Not an emo chick on her period Butters. Like a salmon needing to swim back upriver. All hawaiians feel it. It's called " _hapahui apahoha_ ", and it means it's now time to make your trip to our island home, you must do your walkabout to your homeland Butters, and you must do it alone." Stephen gives Butters his Mahalo Rewards card and sends him away to the airport by himself so that he can go forth to his birthplace for his _Hapa Noa_ as his parents also mentioned.

At the park, the boys are playing basketball as Cartman once again runs up to alert them about Butters, this time he tells them Butters just got on the bus with his backpack and said he was going to Hawaii. "Hawaii?" asked Stan, "Yeah, he said he had to go back to his homeland and then he told me it was none of my business and to keep my fat mouth shut." replied Cartman, "Dude what the hell? Somebody's gotta stop him." Kyle suggested, "After all the things he said to us he can go ahead." rejected Stan, "Kenny you're clearly his best friend, go stop him." Kyle insited, " _Whmf mouhmf meh bmmf wuehmf_." muffled Kenny, "Yeah Mr. Perfect, go rescue Butters so you can lick his balls some more." Cartman said otherwise, then Kenny sighs as he doesn't seem to have much of a choice other than to just go after the boys convinced him to.

So Kenny eventually arrives at the airport and finds Butters in the Alpha Air terminal sitting on a station seat in an empty row sobbing, Kenny appears to show some sympathy as he walks over to Butters who tells Kenny they won't let him on the plane due to the airline employee believing he's intoxicated, Kenny tries convincing him to come back home but Butters can't since he was given the task to go to this _Hapa Noa_ ceremony down in Hawaii as his parents persuaded, Kenny once again sighs and decides to have a word with the teller to help Butters get on the plane.

... _Sadly it all ended here when this occurs_... Just when Kenny and Butters were on their way to the employee's office they unfortunately bump into two men dressed in black who looked down at the kids and wondered if they're one of the children they're looking for, "Excuse us but are any of you two boys is called Leopald "Butters" Stotch?" they asked, "Oh that would be me sir." Butters replied pointing to himself but asked who they are and how they know his name. The two men introduced themselves, they're agents sent by the US federal government to find the child who's been chosen to go on an indomitable voyage he could not refuse, they wanted him to come with them but he refuses to go because of two reasons, one because he's already going on an indomitable voyage to Hawaii for his _Hapa Noa_ and two his parents will be worried if they find out he didn't go there. The agents however told Butters he has no choice and it's their duty to came him to SpaceX headquarters stating it is very important, "SpaceX?!" surprised Butters, they told him they'll explain everything when they get up there and they'll eventually give his parents Mr. and Mrs. Stotch a call to let them know what happened. Butters wanted to say goodbye to Kenny being the only kid by far to admire his struggle and was gonna try and get him on the plane to Hawaii until this happened which staggered the two agents after he mention his name, "...Did you say Kenny? ...As in Kenny McCormick?" one of the agents asked, "That's right," Butters replied "w-wait you know him too?" "...We believe we been expecting him as well according to the files." they said. So they too persuaded Kenny to come with them and Butters once again promising to let his family back at home know too, Kenny wasn't too sure about this but what had he got to loose (aside from looking after his little sister Karen whenever their family falls apart).

The two men escorted to a plane that flew them up to Florida leading to a black limousine outside the airport where the two boys are greeted inside by the honorable President and Chief Operating Officer of SpaceX, Gwynne Shotwell, who explains to them why they're taking them to their headquarters. Last month's news had been confirmed, scientists have created four extremely powerful space vessels that are said to travel into the farthest region of space, most of their previous human boarded spacecrafts only traveled 17,400 miles from Earth (near Mars), but these new spacecrafts can travel _6.8 billion_ miles from earth, and way beyond their galaxy's six upcoming planets, all the way passed Pluto! But they weren't going to fly out that far into space, just at least have the crew land on to one of the main nine planets in the solar system, that way instead of using robotic probes they could now use people to observe the planets themselves in person while floating outside their space station safely attached to a stether, the only downside is that the ships having a test run and the scientists had been working on a living being to survive the journey inside the ship to make perfectly certain it's safe to fly with passengers on it, but because most countries including the United States this year had already banned every science corporation and space company from using monkeys or chimps for rocketship testing due to the godforsaken PETA who kept defending these animals for that whole endangered species crap (which is not to say a bad thing), so the federal government had to find another small, live, but different primate who could go into space before man, those that don't carry much knowledge like man or had much experience for this assignment, it took a few months but the President of the U.S. alongside other nation rulers had made their decision, from now on the new test pilots will be... little young children who are under the age of 10 or younger! Butters and Kenny did not know what to say about all this, except Butters can easily sympathize with chimps and monkeys wanting to be safe from experimentation, but he and Kenny couldn't get why they were picked to do this mission, she told them the government two weeks ago strongly looked up every single vital records and all that to find every single early born child in America, checking each files from A to Z, account to account, birth certificate to birth certificate, address to address, etc etc, but because " _ **BY GOD"**_ there were so many kids under 10 in every state and they only needed four volunteers, they've decided to make it a fair choice which was randomly picking four names with images included, written on each index card out of a massive top hat filled with a whole pile of trillion other index cards inside and that was why the votes came down to Kenny McCormick, Leopald Butters Stotch, and two other boys who they'll be meeting when they get up there.

They've now made it to SpaceX at the Kennedy Space Center and were escorted to one of the ships they're going to aboard anytime soon, the ships appeared humongous, more massive than any other rocketship and spacecraft the boys have seen on television, "...Wow, holy hamburgers," intrigued Butters, "it's almost as big as the empire state building, can you believe that Kenny?!" " _Whmuh mmouhfff bbmff eehhff hhouhh ffmmmf auhph_ , _emmeh ffou uuhff_." worried Kenny. The two boys are then greeted by the head scientist Dr. A.P. Jacobs who lets them know once they're boarded they'll help guide the passengers through space, once they've made it up by the end of Pluto, that's when they'll have to turn back around and return to Earth safe and unharmed whether they're up for it or not. Kenny wanted to escape this and so did Butters, but with tight security on their butts and after the law made a corrupted decision, it seems there is no way out, it will just be their unwilling fate.

The two agents of SpaceX eventually break the news to Butters and Kenny's parents mailing them a letter to let them know they've abducted their kids because of the government changing their astronaut training animals to little children under 10 who will be flying into space tomorrow by morning around 10am! They even written an apology for the abduction. This of coarse makes Butter's parents faint, out cold for a few hours, but they later tell all their friends and family about all this including the arrivals down at Hawaii who were expecting Butters to come join them for the hapanoa that his destiny's been declined and he's is been taken by the government to get launched into space. The kids at school Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Wendy, Bebe, Craig, Tweek, Token, Heidi, Jimmy, Nicole, Clyde and the rest of the class learn about this the next day when they were all assembled to the gym room to watch the live news on screen, they could not believe Butters and Kenny were going into space billions of miles or more away from earth which made Cartman throw another pouty fit because they get to go on a huge cool looking spacecraft and he doesn't, "SpaceX... dude what the fuck is wrong with Kenny?!" questioned Stan, "I agree! That lying son of a bitch said he was going to Hawaii, he's actually on his way to the moon!" furiated Cartman "Why shouldn't it have been me!? I wanted to go to the moon, not that asshole!" "They aren't going to the moon you dumbass and since when did you care about flying into space?" Kyle questioned, " _Because Kyle_ , I could come back after such a long voyage and be rich and famous all over the world, the brave daring Eric Cartman who flew up to the moon discovering new life or whatever lives there." he replied, "Yeah well first of all, they aren't flying to the moon they're sent to fly into deep space beyond Mars, Venus, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and around Pluto to test the ship's speed, and second, you wouldn't deserve that goal anyway Fat-ass." "Shove it up yo- _Ur_ - _anus_ Kyle." All the students and staff all gathered up to watch the channel FOX news now shooting their video outside at SpaceX waiting for the ship to take off while a couple of the parents at home watch outside and the others watch on TV in the house.

Meanwhile out in Cape Canaveral, Florida at the launch facilities after going through a few complicated examinations by the scientists they quickly escort them up to the entrance of the ship called Icarus-TMZ where the boys will be sedated and confined to each cryonic stasis pods until the ship automatically reaches it's stop at Pluto, and that's when they will contact them from the control room and they'll help them turn the ship around going back the other way with just the push of a big green button they installed to the ship causing it to blast off again using up the rest of the fuel that's left to fly back home, but this is only if they're still alive out there which really bothered Kenny more when comes to this dangerous task. Before they were gonna be sedated the scientists first introduced them to other two passengers who were also chosen by the US government for the same mission, one of them turned out to be someone they know, Timmy! "TIMMY!" he uttered, "Timmy, you're here too?!" astonished Butters, " _Whhuh_ , _wwo wahhurrr whooh mmeffeh cauh poh ffooowuh waff fwweef_." muffled Kenny. The other member was introduced who's only kid not from South Park, Colorado, he's from North Dakota, "Hello, my name is Hector, Hector Stewart, I am seven years old and this my first time being on a spaceship." "Pressure to meet you Hector. I'm Butters and this is Kenny, I'm sure you already know Timmy." "TIMMY!" "Yeah I technically do, and I do hope we will return to Earth after this is over." "Kenny and I hope so too." The four kids then changed out of their clothes and are all suited up, ready for take off starting in 10 minutes. Before the boys could get sedated Dr. A.P. Jacobs wondered if any of them had anything left to say, then may he speak now and make it quick, "Yeah I do" replied Butters "just how long are we gonna be up there, I may not know much about outer space, but my teacher did mention about Pluto and the other planets being many, many, many, many, many, many, miles away..." "No Butters my boy for this is what I told Timmy and Hector when they arrived here." he told Butters with the ship's new strong heavy overtime power of speed which will only take about three weeks to get up to Pluto while being sedated along the way. He didn't want to go away from Earth that long, but as long as the voyage doesn't take too long like say flying trillion lightyears away and trillion lightyears back then Butters accepted, especially after the scientist told him he and the other boys will be heroic and famous which Butters could hardly imagine when the launch was about to start, hopefully nothing will go wrong with the ship.

Now after getting tucked into their stasis pods, deeply fast asleep, with Dr. A.P. Jacobs retreating outside away from the launch site and back into the KSC headquarters building in time... ...6...5...4...3...2...1... _ **they went off**_.

The Icarus-TMZ was finally lift off as the bright fiery exhaust made a big mightier burst like an explosion wave nearly engulfing the whole corporation but nobody got vaporized (except for maybe that one lonely deaf janitor guy but no one will suspect his disintegrated body) the whole spacecraft unbelievably went off like one bullet shot out of a rifle, it flew extremely faster than all the previous spacecrafts, flying over 60 million kilometers in high speed passed Mars and it only took half an hour which was physically impossible! The scientists manage to track the location of the ship on the monitors and it was undoubtedly amazing, Gwynne Shotwell could not believe her own eyes once the whole government including the president gets a hold of this new record. However just as they safely made it through the asteroids and flew passed Jupiter they were about to reach Saturn, something unexpected happens, something very unfortunate. One of their great 3 billion dollar shuttles flew so ultimately fast in a high speed distance, it from out no where disappeared, the scientists lost track of it from their monitor, Icarus-TMZ had completely vanished without a trace! They couldn't get a clue to what the cause was but considering that fact that they used too much heavy energy and speed thrust though all that vacuum, to their theory, that must mean... _it forced it's way to travel at the speed of light_. Butters's Mother and Father earlier watched outside and only saw a bright vertical light beam flash from the sky as some of their neighbors including Randy and Gerald rushed out to let them know the rocket had took off which made Linda Stotch shed more tears because their son had flown into space but not as much when they find out he's disappeared in space, this then gets the other boys at school wondering if they will make it back to Earth alive by the next six weeks, " _GOD_ , I cannot believe scientists are using kids like us as lab animals out there!" bothered Stan as Kyle replied "I know that just raises so many questions on why everyone on Earth thought this would the right choice for test subjects, this better happen to any of us, some one's really got to put end to this madness!" "Well, let's just hope he makes it out okay." said Stan, "Yeah, Timmy was like a good friend to us, at least let the deep reaches of space spare his life." pitied Kyle who he and Stan only worried about Timmy instead of the other three kids on board up there.

After a long three week blast through colorful lights and then passing through a bigger, brighter, and round white light that flashed up close until the ship has now made it back out in their solar system ...or so may seem... the ship according to the panel incredibly flew through 7 billion kilometers and up to 4.3496 miles to their final destination! The ship began slowing down and the four young passengers Butters, Kenny, Timmy, and Hector have awaken from their long incarcerated cryo-slumber and emerged from their stasis pods, they got up, stretched their arms and legs, and opened their eyes seeing each other safe and well, " _EEUUHAAHHHMPH_... ... _Geewiz_ what a long night" moaned Butters after sleeping for lord knows how long "is everyone alright? Kenny?" "... _H_ - _Heeuhhh_." "Hector?" "Here." "Timmy?" " _TIMMY_..." None of the astrokids knew how long they've been for but according by what Butters heard Dr. Jacobs tell them once they've made it up to Pluto the ship will stop flying automatically and leave him to help guide them back all the way to Earth with the use of the control panels up front. Hector quickly walked up to the cockpit and, well because he's seven years old he had trouble memorizing where the communication radio was, Kenny manage to find it along with the microphone hanging next to one of the two control sticks as he tries to get a call from the people on Earth like the ATC due to their instructions but no one answered, nothing, not one signal from Earth picked up contact from Pluto. But then, as it turns out when they looked through the flight deck windows and saw the upcoming planet they're actually at but are heading towards. It happens to be Earth judging by it's appearance which means either the Icuras-TMZ was capable of carrying more fuel to fly all the way up to Pluto then turning back around returning to Earth while the crew was out cold, or somehow it stopped at Saturn and decided to change it's course turning itself back around to Earth while passing Jupiter, safely not hitting any asteroids or planetoids, and Mars to reach it. None could understand why they're heading back to Earth and if that was the case then why aren't those heartless scientists answering this damn space shuttle, then again why isn't the radio picking up any satellite signal, even worst while the ship had stop flying it kept on floating closer to Earth where it was about to hit the atmosphere layers, reaching gravitation from exosphere all the way down to troposphere where the astrokids will surely crash to their deaths with no help, that is until Kenny manage to get a signal from something on the radio, Kenny tries contacting that signal and by far he heard a few grunts and... "... _ **Who**_... _**cont**_ - _ **t**_ - _ **tac**_... _**thi**_..." the call kept breaking up as the ship is now halfway into the atmosphere ready to fatally hit land! The boys had to find some kind of escaping supplies in one of these overhead bins, they were able to get Timmy's wheel chair and a few other packaged products out but the rest was nothing, no spare parashoots or anything in neither of them! Then luck had it when they went all the way to the back which lead them into a big, round, man size, tube shaped, escaping pod with an airlock at the end where the ship can automatically eject the chamber from the back part releasing them to safety if they can. The shuttle starts to tip diagonally plummeting into a large body of water below and the kids had to pack whatever they needed to survive out wherever they're at in case they can't anyone for help (if they make it out alive) and rushed up to the chamber at the end of the hall before it ejects while hanging on to the indoor handles! Sadly Timmy could make it up to the pod in time when he couldn't climbed through the handles with his wheel chair at the same time, therefore, poor Timmy strolled all the way back down with his wheel chair to cockpit right when the shuttle has roughly landed with the water crashing through the windows drowning him in the process! " _TIMMY_!" cried Butters while Kenny pulled him back into the pod before the other side closed automatically shut tight replying there was nothing they could do he's gone now. The alarm went off " _ **CAUTION EVACUATE, EVACUATE, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4,3,2,1**_ " the tube bursts out of the back end, flying out like a softball pitching machine and lands into the water as well only this time the pod can float while the rest of Icarus-TMZ sinks deep down.

Butters, Kenny, and Hector are now the only three surviving young astronauts who escaped the crash while it got a little crowded in the escape pod since it's only meant for one adult passenger inside. It didn't last long when the tube eventually reaches shore, they then open the airlock and came out to get fresh Earthling air, and they find the whole Icarus-TMZ spacecraft has sank down into what turns out to be a lake they were in. The boys finally made it to land back on Earth (or so they think it is) but now the boys are very upset after all that space crap they had to go through and wanted give the SpaceX company a piece of their minds, Butters became more furious of how pointless this voyage was and because of this mess he did not get to fulfill his hapanoa long ago no thanks to those rocketeer scientists for using them as lab chimps. Speaking of which, those few packaged products the boys took with them were a couple of food supply stored in a book bag that could only last about one night, Hector still kept holding on to his stuffed animal ever since they got off, he had it with him while he was in his stasis pod during the mission, "Please don't tell anyone about this, because they'll just keep picking on me every time." worried Hector, Butters and Kenny promised, but now that they've landed the boys had no idea where they were at, from the looks of it they must be at some kind of forested region, a southeast african jungle due to these types of palm trees and shrubs near the beach, "Did we... finally do it? Did we finally made it to Howaii?" concerned Butters, " _Wwah hhhaii phowwehh_." muffled Kenny through his hooded spacesuit. The boys had to think about this before going to find help not knowing the dangers that might lurking in there like snakes, leopards, and who knows what deadly jungle insects they had out there. Kenny suggested the least they could do was wait until help comes, "Oh you mean like an S.O.S.?" wondered Butters. They both decided to camp out at the beach where they can at least use their only remaining food supply, it's going to be very complicated for them out here with no phone to call anyone, or anything like a gun or a knife to fend themselves from any wild animals, so they've camped out and built a fire that took him until night time to find sticks to burn while learning from the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks, and only food supply they had to eat were nothing but space food which were just two shelf stabled peanuts and three shelf stabled granola bars, and only two vacuum sealed pouches of lemonade and orange the crew had to take turns sharing, "Well good thing Cartman's not here for this because he hardly shares at all." expressed Butters. It was getting pretty late and the three had to squeeze in and make room in the stranded pod to sleep through the night while keeping the airlock a little shut without the bugs coming in just in case they end up getting themselves trapped in or something.

The next morning around 6am when it was half dark with the sun almost rising Butters heard something outside, he took a little peak quietly lifting the airlock cap to see what was up, it was something big walking around the put out campfire, thankfully it wasn't too dark as Butters takes a good look at the figure revealing to be some kind of human! It's a young human with long black hair who looked to be about Butters's age and had no clothes on by his view. He springs out of the pod to talk to whoever this naked stranger was which ended up scaring he or she away, running straight into the forest, "Hey w-wait, who are you!" cried Butters who ran after _him or her_ , Butters's cry heavily alerted Kenny and Hector from in the space pod, and had no choice but to follow him into that unknown path no telling what they might run into, while the pod back on the beach sailed away after a big tide moved in. Butters rushed through the understory layer to find that mysterious kid not knowing there could be poisoness spiders or giant snakes in the trees above, or the ground below, however Butters eventually stopped and hears the sound of big running water coming from beyond the shrubs, it was a beautiful oasis waterfall! Quite the beautiful clearing Butters found as Kenny and Hector manage to find him from behind and sees the amazing watering hole with butterflies flying about and little frogs hopping along, Butters was glad to see them here and told them he found another person around here who was some naked child, he didn't know who _he or she_ was, perhaps some kind of living native, and when there's one there is sure to be another. Butters and Kenny thought is was safe to swim around here but Butters didn't carried his swimming trunks until Kenny only thought of one bizarre option, and that was going for a little skinny-dip (meaning they swim naked) Butters and Hector weren't so sure about this after Kenny dives in, but then again nobody was looking so why the hell not!

Both Butters, Kenny, and Hector took a load off in the oasis paddling around splashing each other and cleaning off the stench of themselves from last night's crowded sleep in the pod, plus none of them mind peeing in it either, "I never felt so alive and free!" thrilled Hector having fun swimming naked without getting in any trouble with the adults who aren't _supposedly_ around until one moment Butters spots someone from up on top of an edge next to the waterfall. "Uh oh." shocked Kenny _without his hooded spacesuit on_ , but the visitor gently climbed down by the side of the waterfall as it turns out to be that same kid Butters was looking for who happens to be a she, a young naked girl with long black hair and dirt covered skin. Butter and Kenny could not believe their eyes seeing a native like her not wearing any clothes either, her appearance nearly made the boys' little tubes wave up even when she decided to join them. She didn't speak a word so the boys introduced themselves to her, "Auh... H-Hello um, I'm Butters, Butters, and this is Kenny, and right over there is Hector, we mean, no harm, no harm. ...Oh I think she speaks a different language that we're probably not familiar with Kenny." frustrated Butters but in spite of this Hector spots a something moving from the water edge surroundings near the trees, something pulling one of the boys' clothes and stuff away! Hector had to rush back up and get his personal stuffed toy that was stuck between two rocks where nothing could snatch it, he pulls it out and finds the rest of their stuff is gone. Hector calls for Butters and Kenny who got out of the watering hole and found all their clothes gone, but they weren't like blown away they were taken by someone who left a track of adult sized footprints on the wet ground. As the unamed girl approached from out of the water the boys turned around wondering if she could tell them in her language if she knows the people who made these tracks and she then started shrieking almost like the sound of a dog when she sees Hector's stuffed animal because the animal toy was a big chimpanzee plush figure, for some reason it made her screech in fear and ran back into the wilderness where Butters had to follow her feeling a little blameworthy for not knowing she was afraid of monkeys.

The whole trio followed her to where the adult footprints were leading, up to a hill behind more shrubs where the boys heard a lot of grunts and moaning. There they were out in some large grass field where they at last found more people, it was a whole tribe of people who are also bare naked, both male and female, and both having longer hair and big long beards with one of them having unibrows, as if to say the boys are with a tribe of cavemen, cavemen who can also climb trees! The boys didn't know what to say, all the men and women kept staring at them as Butters sees the same frighten girl running up to an adult female embracing her and held on while she was breastfeeding a small human infant which Butters states must be her mother. Just then a big hairy bearded adult male sprang from a tree and came walking on bent legs with his arms moving up and down like a common chimp as he too spotted the same stuffed one Hector was holding, and much like the girl, he too starts shrieking along with the whole tribe roughly jumping up and down causing the boys to back away with Hector accidentally dropping his toy plush! This then drives the man into pounding it to the ground so hard with his bear fists and starts chomps his teeth into the neck and shakes it around like a wild animal, taring it apart, "No, not Chester!" whimpered Hector over his stuffed chimp toy, but once again there was nothing they could do in order to not get hurt by these powerful natives! The tribe stops shrieking and the one who destroyed the chimp dummy appears to be their leader, the alpha male of the group, he comes closer to the timid boys smelling their hair and walking around them in a circle while they stood silent. He eventually walks away leading his tribe back over to his turf leaving the three boys to breath so hard after all that hollering and jumping. While the boys may not understand why these people have a deep hatred with monkeys, the nude dwellers did not want to hurt them, instead one of them ended up grooming their hair like monkeys and were generous enough to let them stay accepting them in their tribe with one of them showing the boys the rest of their homeland. Passed a few big trees was another jungle clearing filled with gorilla shaped nests, and it was actually their nests "...who the frickity fookshmere are these people...?" confused Butters, "... _And where did they all come from_...?" muttered Kenny for believed this to be like a nudist camp at first right up until they saw one naked guy literally took a shit while walking by in the middle of the clearing with where everyone can see even though none of this tribe didn't seem to care he turned around, picked some of his feces up, and then EATS A BIT OF IT! " _AUUHH_! ...DUDE!" shocked the naked Kenny without his hooded suit "SICK!" disturbed Butters. That wasn't just it, he also tossed it at a shrub hitting the back of a crawling naked man trying looking for bugs to eat under there! " _GOD_ _no wonder they smelled so foul like wet dog and dampness_ ". Next there was a young naked male who sat in his nest drinking his own pee sprayed up to his mouth which made both Butters, Kenny, and Hector puke! And last which was even more primitive... one of the naked males sat too close the alpha's territory causing that wild man to brutally beat him while barking at his face and horrifically bit off two fingers from the poor guy's left hand, then pushes him over as a fair warning the next time anyone gets closer to the alpha male no doubt this made the boys tremble even more to whats gonna happen to them while holding on to each other standing still again, in between a few nests, counting the girl's who she felt sorry for not knowing how much they're afraid of being here, so her mother stopped breast feeding her baby for a while and decided to let them stay in their nest for the night where the girl with no name shared some of their food with them, some left over peaches and unknown berries on a branch that could be poisoness, they went with the two peaches sharing each other a piece. Butters humbly appreciated her gratitude and replied, "Gee ah... thank you for letting us stay here... in your... your nest I think, and giving us something to eat, thank you." she did not replied because she like all her people were mute, they do not speak like them, it must be due to their wild nature.

The next night came and almost every naked man and woman were tucked in their nests along with their young ones fast asleep, but the only ones who weren't asleep were Butters, Kenny, and Hector who whispered to each other in that one girl's nest giving the fact they had nothing to warm themselves with, no blanket or pillow, and are shivering out in this strange region partially getting eaten by mosquitoes, Kenny absolutely didn't want to stay out here and suggested this trio should bale out of here while they still can and get back to the beach not knowing their pod had floated away eight hours from now, "How will it matter Kenny, we won't survive anyway, not without our clothes, and it's too dark out there, the least we could do is wait in the morning if we have to ...but I still agree with you on one thing overall, there's no chance of finding any help out here. Must have taken a wrong turn." doubted Butters whispering to the group, "I wanna go home!" whined Hector while Kenny hushed him to not wake up these dwellers. Kenny still recommended they should find help somewhere else away from this part of the jungle because earlier back on Icarus-TMZ Kenny did get one tiny signal from someone on this planet who aside from speaking in a deep raspy voice, Hector on the other hand blames Kenny for loosing their clothes and some of their stuff concerting why they're up here.

And thus... _this happens_... Just when everything seems peacefully quiet, by far it became dawn and everything was a little misty out in this clearing. Butters heard a barking coming from the other forested path by the end of the field and so did one of the nude men who got up and knew something was wrong, the whole tribe were waking up and are facing the direction on where that sound came from, Kenny and Hector got up wondering whats going on since they too heard a barking, the barking of a dog. The sound was getting closer and closer until the whole tribe shrieked and ran along with the nude girl trying to get away from what was coming from out if this path as two gun shots were set off shooting down a few men which made Butters, Kenny, and Hector jump out of the nest in fear, they did see dogs coming, they turned out to be vicious hunting dogs that went charging after these defenseless human dwellers dragging the dead ones like an animal, the boys didn't had time to figure this out when the hunters came down into the field with their guns and shot another man running by! The trio began splitting up while running deep into the high grassy marsh, Butters could easily see a big net flung in the air and landed at a man after hearing him screech from 30 feet away, he then hears the sound of a truck driving up ahead, what kind people would drive down into the jungle to shoot other people, and capturing them in nets?! Sure they made not be civilized but they were still people. Butters kept on running until he tripped over a log where he finds Hector crawling over to him looking really traumatized after what he discovered after taking a quick peak above the marsh at one of the gun shooting vandals strolling this way, suddenly out came another hunting dog that violently yanked it's teeth into Hector's neck killing him in the process and dragged him off like a dead rabbit leaving poor Butters the only one left to survive unless he can find Kenny! He then hears someone walking on boots getting closer, and closer... the naked and timid Butters had to get back on his feet and keep running until he eventually reached an exit, only to find an edge leading to a river, he was trapped! Butters heard another hunting dog coming but this time it was on a leash held by it's master as Butters finally gets a good look at who these shooters really are while standing on a boulder by the edge to get a good view when the sun kept rising up to reveal the figure... ... ... **It's an ape** , a large sized gorilla wearing a militaristic jacket and jeans while packed with not only a gun but other heavy hunting equipment, he also wears black gloves on both hands and feet! Butters was very stunned to what he and the boys were truly up against. It seriously was a freaking gorilla! From his collar emerged a hideous head, it's top shaped like a sugar loaf and covered with black hair, with a flattened nose and jutting jaws. There he stood while smoking a joint, walking perfectly upward on two legs like a human-being slightly forward to Butters who stood silent and fazed when he towered over him, then after restraining his snarling doberman, the gorilla spoke, " **Well** , **well** , **what have we here**... **just another young stray human orphan abandoned by the group**. **You'll make a fine price at our market**." he carefully pulls out a large burlap sack fit to capture a baby animal which in his perspective are humans and tries to gently snatch him and put him inside until Butters kept trembling, this makes him piss himself at the gorilla's jacket. When he gets agitated by this, he accidentally lets go of his dog and the dog tries to pounce on Butters while barking loud! This gets Butters to loose balance as he falls into the gushing river and manages to escape the clutches of the ape before he could touch him. This river sent Butters flowing all the way up to a middle waterfall where he tumbles down a couple of rocks, knocking him out!

Luckily while unconscious, Butters's whole body safely made it over to shore by the stream, but sadly gets spotted by more simian arrivals. Now Leopold Butters, Stotch finally realizes he was not on the planet Earth, he was instead on some type of planet ruled over by apes.


	4. EPIV HUMAN SEE HUMAN DO

Episode IV: HUMAN SEE HUMAN DO

After getting captured by the apes who these in particular were a couple of gorillas dressed in safari clothes except these gorillas were quite different from the ones way over by the marsh where all those wild naked humans were getting slaughtered at, including (supposedly) his two companions. The two uncanny explorers carried this human child up into the back of their vehicle, an olive-green CJ3A jeep, and gently placed him in a big open wooden crate with a big cloth covering him up from the top view as they drove off through the jungle, steering about 28 miles up to a town nearby. This wasn't just any town, it was some kind of municipality that looked almost a like a small variety of Cape Town, South Africa except with apes instead of humans governing the city, and unlike Cape Town, this similar looking region was surrounded by more forests, lots and lots of trees and shrubs all around.

After three hours of black out Butters slightly opened his eyes and because he was half-awake he could barely speak and just kept breathing heavily, he sees a light up above him and next to the light there came a person looking down at him, this person was wearing a green scrub uniform which must mean Butters is in the hospital being cared by who appears to be a surgeon believing what he experienced in the jungle with Kenny and Hector was all just a bad dream and they were finally rescued, "... _ **HHhmmmm**_... Looks like this young individual had a few contusions and one small laceration after flowing down that rough stream in the Congo forest, there are some bruise marks on the left knee and left shoulder, and another on the lower back-hip, but the right side part of his forehead is wounded, I'm going to need a couple of stitches for that." uttered the surgeon in a rather strange human like accent after examining him. However, while Butters couldn't get a good look at the figure's face since he was wearing including a cap and surgical mask over his mouth and head, he has noticed the black hairy arms from his short sleeves to his latex gloves, even the upper half of his face was shown to be so pale wrinkly with protruding brows above the eyes which stunned Butters once again aware of the fact that it wasn't a dream at all. The unusual surgeon " _or should we say_ " ape surgeon had to immediately treat the patient's injuries while he was strapped to an operation table starting with the forehead wound, one of his assistants (who are wearing the same outfit) manage to hold him still by the jaw giving the doctor a chance to numb the cut with some cream and a thin needle shot to make it painless which made the patient moan and whimper a little but the doctor carefully stitches this cut good and bandaged it leading the other assistants to take Butters up to an animal shelter as the ape surgeon is revealed to be a chimpanzee after taking his gloves, cap, and mask off.

After cleaning off all that dirt and wet filth from the body earlier, and after operating him, the chimp nurses quickly carried Butters in a soft clean blanket over to a quiet room where one of them sat down in a chair with him, Butters didn't know what they're going to do next but all the she ape did was just bottle feed him, like a veterinarian caring for a helpless cub after taking a beating from poachers out in the wild, _pampered like a baby_. Butters didn't know what to say or what to think of this event, right when he tried to speak asking where he is the nurse sends him up to some sort of animal infirmary ward full of caged human children crying like cats and dogs next door where Butters Stotch gets put into a huge indoor kennel for some shelter until the authorities could find a human sanctuary for him. The kennel had an extra blanket for the floor panel, a bucket of water to drink, and a big pile of straw and newspaper in the corner with a pot on top for taking a dump or tinkle inside. The nurse ape had to rush back to help the other patients right before Butters could speak to her on time when all the noise coming from the other cages were continuing like a mental home with their arms thrashing out through the bars. "... ... _W_ - _Where am I_...?!" confused poor Butters in his condition, but after looking at one of the scrambled newspapers in that piled bathroom nest, he begins to understand why there are gorilla hunters, chimpanzee doctors and nurses, and bare naked human beings acting like wild animals and smell so bad, he's not positively sure if it's true or not, but judging by the way these apes can talk in perfect english, walk on two legs, and wear clothes, and the way they treat these humans who are extremely primitive, this must be some kind of reversed civilization in which the great apes are the dominant intelligent and civilized species, whereas the humans are reduced to a savage animal like state. He also realizes why that girl along with the rest of the humans he met in the jungle yesterday expressed their emotions at the sight of Hector's chimpanzee doll. There exists a fierce hatred between the two races. "Uh sweet Jesus.. the _S_ - _Sok_ - _wee_ Ants hit a home run!"

By the following morning, almost every young wild human child were still asleep, around 5am in the morning, Butters couldn't get that much sleep after so much noise these humans made last night. Just then someone entered the infirmary room and turned on the lights, Butters started trembling when it turns out to be another gorilla, but this time, unlike the first gorilla he came across on this planet, this one's a different gorilla wearing a blue-violet jumpsuit, appearing to be nothing but some domestic ape janitor since he's carrying a mop and bucket, " _ **PPHHWoo**_! **Talk about a jungle out there, why it's also jungle in here with all you stinky children."** he said, the gorilla mopped the whole floor throughout the room passing by all the facilities until one of the human juveniles in the middle of the aisle threw a couple of his feces from his cage to where the ape's standing at, " _ **Auh damn it Rocket**_!" he argued after he just cleaned that spot. He wipes down that spot with good cleansing but eventually stops at Butters's kennel and looks at him. Butters gets a little nervous when the ape got closer and crouched down to take a good look at one of the new human infants that arrived yesterday here at Galen's Animal Institute. He did not snarl or groan at him, he just made an affable smile, " _ **He he heh**_ **Well aren't you the cutest little male I had seen** , _ **my oh my**_." he said admiring Butters's appearance, while not aware that the child's not like the others just yet the gorilla lets him know that according to the doctors and nurses he's considered the rarest type of human that's been discovered and no doubt the healthiest aside from a few injuries, he also tells him that by tomorrow morning one of the their friends are going to pay a visit and see this special breed. Butters felt quite amused, no one on his planet ever mentioned anything about him being special in his life, Butters also couldn't help but recognize that deep sassy voice coming from this gorilla " **Poor little guy** , **no wonder you're so quiet** , **hopefully that wound on your head will heal up fast,** **tell you what** , **while no ape's lookin** , **you can have a sweet chewy gummy string as a little treat**. **Here try it** ... _ **it's cherry flavored**_..." said the friendly gorilla handing him a twizzler looking piece of candy he pulled out if his pocket. Butters was charmed by his generosity, he reached out his hand through the bars, the ape handed it to him intrigued by the boy's reaction, he tried it and it tasted very good more better than the sweets he ate back on his planet. Butters Stotch was so blessed by the gorilla's kindness he faced him and responded "This taste good, I like it." " _ **Yeah I knew you wo**_... ... ..." Butters finally spoke revealing his true nature in front of a civilized anthropomorphic ape leaving him completely stunned and gapping with stupefaction, "... _What_? Oh right I'm sorry, thank you for the candy string thing Mr. _uh_... _Z_ - _z_ - _z_ - _Zorn_ - _nam_ , is that your name _Zornam_?" The timid gorilla janitor who went by the name of _Zornam_ after Butters read the name tag pinned to the left side of his chest dropped his mop tipping the water bucket over, he took a few steps back and slipped on the wet floor but quickly ran out the door panicking while all the captive human kids stood silent and looked at Butters from each cage, " _Gee wiz_ , what did I say?" confused Butters. Zornam immediately rushed back into the infirmary after splashing himself in the face with water from the ape's restroom sink to check and see if he's lost his mind or not, he walks back up to Butters crouching down and asked, "... _ **Go on**_ , **say something** , **come on talk** , **talk dammit** , **talk**!" " _Please don't hurt me_!" Butters talked back while backing away from the gorilla's jumpy confusion when he grabbed the bars with his huge hands " _or paws_ or _whatever_ ". Zornam was once again stunned and gaped with fear being the first ape to witness a human that has the knowledge to speak. Butters tries to ask for his help on how he's going to get out of here but the gorilla with a surprised frightened look got back up and began walking away without a word, "Wait, w-where you going?" " _ **I hear nothing**_ , _**I hear nothing**_!" Butters keeps running his mouth until Zornam ran out of the human infirmary in panic again, leaving poor Butters helpless while the rest of the little caged humans woke up and began barking like dogs and banging the bars with their feet!

Meanwhile Zornam ran out the front door going home right after running into his boss, the chimpanzee head of the this animal shelter Dr. Galen, and gave back his keys and badge letting him know he quits and told him to hire another janitor who could handle a talking human. "...Talking... humans?" questioned the same chimpanzee surgeon who operated on Butters yesterday as he gets one of his helpers to check on all the young human orphans in the infirmary. While on their way Butters felt a little worried that because he finally showed one of the apes he can talk who knew what the scientists will do to him, however this didn't stop him from creating an outburst after getting irritated with all these wild human kids making too much noise around him. Both Dr. Galen and his assistant were almost to the ward, he didn't have to check in since he was going to work on another animal case, but because the ward was just down the hall where the surgery room's at they were " _ironically_ " at the right time when this happens. Right when they reached the open door down by the end where all the human orphans making a fuss inside... "SHUT UP! _All of you shut the fuck up_!" That horrid shout made those two chimps stop, "...What the bloody hell was that?!" startled Dr. Galen who decided to investigate this disturbance, it came from in the infirmary wondering if there was an intruder a robber trying to steal the animals. They both went in but there was nobody in here except for all the animals who were safe in their cages concerting this was a small room and would've suspected an intruder by now, but as they checked on Butters's cell, all the other little primitive humans were silently quiet and kept looking at Butters through their bars, something these apes had never seen before especially when Dr. Galen briefly saw Butters standing up right like one of them. Butters looking very nervous backs away again after seeing the skeptical look on his face. Galen then utters to his assistant, "...Cassia, did you mention anything about your sister coming over?" "...Yes sir." she replied, " _Good_." The mop and bucket was put away and the two apes quickly left the room leaving the door shut closed this time, all poor Butters could do now was remain silent and not speak another word for the day or the next day.

The next day came, by far Butters Stotch hasn't said a word since yesterday, he remained quiet and casual while most of the apes fed him and cleaned him, they unwrapped the patch from the right part of the boy's forehead to check on his condition, surprisingly the besides the bruises disappearing the forehead wound had been healing pretty fast for only three days, the ape doctor suggests they let it dry for the next five hours and in time the little stitch will be removed. Just then two chimpanzee visitors showed up to the _Galen Animal DayCare Center_ , one's a zookeeper due to his khaki short sleeve shirt and brown shorts including a small logo on his chest that says Sokwee National Zoo on it, and the other's a well dressed she-ape wearing a beautiful white smock, cut more elegantly, gathered in at the waist by a belt, with short sleeves showing her long, furry, slender, agile arms. They were just who Galen and Cassia had invited after giving them a report about Butters and the incident that occurred in the animal ward yesterday. The she ape in white smock arrives in the front entrance with her helper greeted by the head of this center, " _Good morning Dr. Zira_." "Good morning Dr. Galen, where's that special human child you and my sister told me about?" "Right this way, we just had his forehead mend checked in the surgery room, it just needs to stay on for at least four or five hours." the chimpanzee scientist known as Zira comes down to the infirmary where she gave her sister a greeting hug after long busy days not seeing each other for a while except the phone, she shows her the animal they've been hearing about, there she stood seeing Butters before her very eyes and smiled, "Oh my, this little toddler is very special, he's born with lighter skin and sun colored hair, I've never seen such a human this young and handsome before, and don't you worry little fellow we'll take care of that small suture in no time now that we know you're more healthier and just so you know, after some unknown occurrence Dr. Galen and his followers made an agreement to let you live at our establishment where you won't be all cooped up here in a cage like this, you'll be with other humans your age and that way you'll get more social there." she said. Butters charmed by her compliment and honesty, he smiles back without giving away his identity.

Butters gets taken out of his cage from the human infirmary but gets put on a leash with the zookeeper walking him up into another cage, a restraint in the back of a big grey van outside, Butters was not comfortable with this as it turns out according to that overthought surgeon chimp, he made a unwise decision on what to do with this uncommon creature, in order to not cause another panic in his animal shelter after getting a strange hypothesis about yesterday, Butters gets transported to some zoo where things got a little more humiliating for him.

Twenty minutes later, they eventually made it to an unusual looking building, two gorilla-zookeepers unloaded the restraint cage out from the truck pushing it inside on a cart where he's now brought to another animal shelter, taken down the hall to another ward from the looks of it, except this ward was more of a lab, it was bigger and had some other caged animals like ferrets, rabbits and mice that are there for experimentation. They wheeled the cart into the room, workers then stop and opened the cage, one of them harshly pulled Butters out by the neck with an animal catchpole leading him downstairs to his new cage while the poor boy kept dangling, " _STOP_!" cried Zira who came in before them and saw what they were doing to him, she immediately ran to the guard and took the noose off Butters's throat just as they lead him in. She dismisses them and told one of her other helpers in the facility to get some ointment while the child kneeled in pain, including hemostat scissors and forceps for that tiny stitch on his forehead. The cage they're in was a large indoor human compound, it's more bigger than the previous cages Butters had to sit through, large enough to fit four human adults inside, it includes a tire swing, a big round bounce ball, a little indoor kiddie slide, and some stacks of straw for litter and bedding. The whole ward counting the whole building is actually an animal research center and Zira is the head of the department of the company to which Butters has been brought, on top of that, it's practically next door to the Sokwee National Zoo. Zira manage get Butters to sit perfectly still on a veterinary exam table they brought in while rubbing the ointment around his neck, " _God those fools and their noosing poles_." she understood, after lotioning the neck she then got Butters to lay down very still in a supine position on the table (even though they still had to strap him down for precaution) they tilted his head up a little and began this quick minor procedure, after sterilizing it with some medical hydrogen-peroxide alcohol, the stitches were finally removed and Butters's forehead is now looking all better, not only was Zira in charge of this business, she's both a veterinarian and zoologist studying the behavior and lives of humans. They've unstrapped Butters from the table putting everything away and left Butters captive _**again**_ after closing the cage door behind him, while he does get more space in this pen he doesn't wanna keep being treated like a zoo animal for the rest of his miserable lonely life, he had speak in front of Dr. Zira before she left the lab proving to her that he is not as primitive as the rest of these humans on this planet are, but due to his sore neck and throat after getting yanked by those thick headed ape guards it hurts when he tries to talk, so the boy could not speak at least not as high or loud, the least he could do was whisper through his throbbing vocals but Dr. Zira sadly left the lab with her workers leaving poor Leopold Butters, Stotch alone shivering bare naked in a big cold metal bar sealed enclosure, "So much for my hapa noa... _Oh Kenny_ , I sure wish you were here," grieved Butters in his mind "you were the only friend who came to my helplessness but now look what those good for nothing rocket scientists got us both into, I don't know whether you're alive or not and I got no one to turn to, for once I actually do need help.".

After one and half an hour, while Butters kept swinging on the tire swing in sorrow, Zira returns to the lab arriving downstairs with a new playmate for him, "Oh Bright Eyes, there's someone I like you to meet." She called out for Butters who she gave him the name _Bright Eyes_ because of his charming blue eyes. The zookeeper chimp approached the cage door with another human child on a leash, it wasn't Kenny or Hector as Butters thought, this human screeches like both a cat and dog mix together mimicking these noises in her voice, they put her in with Butters revealing to be the same naked human girl from the outdoor jungle meadow, Butters's excited to see her again and looking more lovely with her tanish naked body and black hair after the apes cleaned her up, "Bright Eyes meet Libra, she's one of our new primate faunas at the Sokwee National Zoo next door." Zira said, Libra was the name they gave her, named after the zodiac constellation of stars in the sky at night. The reason put her in with Butters is because he wanted him know one his kind and see how he would react when he sees another human about his age and he mean't no harm to her not one single scratch. Butters was going to try and speak or whisper to Zira up close but was too sidetracked by his playmate Libra, he started to get that waving little tube of his again when she walked closer to him. Zira found it a little off when she noticed that at first but concerting these two were getting along well with Libra just grooming him on the back of his hair and seeing a smile on the boy's face she decided to let her stay in there with Butters for the night as they both snuggled with each other on straw bedding wrapped in a big blanket Zira offered, then by tomorrow she'll escort them to their new habitat. "...Well at least you're here." admired Butters in his mind.

On the next following morning, Butters and Libra get taken out of the indoor enclosure carried out of the lab gently this this time as Zira ordered no matter what the little wild human girl did since the guard were wearing gloves from any bites, and into an outdoor enclosure which happens to be the zoo's human exhibit Dr. Zira stated yesterday. This enclosure includes a big hard-plastic climbing structured tree playset in the middle where Butters meets the other humans, two young boys who are the same as his age like Libra seem to play a little rough, Butters is also not going to like this. These two animalistic boys check Butters out while he stays still but keeps trembling when one of them kept grunting, they walked around him in a circle wondering what he's suppose to be since his skin's more brighter than theirs and his hair like lighting sunshine. Before these caveman like boys could do anything else around Butters a few zookeepers from the top platform were toss a bunch of fruits and vegetables (carrots, lettuce, and oranges) down at the group below which means it's time for breakfast, every human except Butters could barely get any while Libra and the other two kept taking most of them, he had just had to get _at least_ something for his upset stomach, luckily there were still more raining down, lots more, most the food hit them including Butters like a couple rocks irritating him but he manage to catch some scattered ones, just one little orange and two carrots, "...Well at least I got something... besides getting bonked on the head many times!" he muttered while his sore throat and voice was still clearing up. There's whole lot of fruits and vegetables scattered all over the enclosure and those three kept hogging the rest up like a pack of wild boars. Butters tried pacing to think of a way to get out of here, he then sees Zira up on the platform next to the zookeepers joyfully waving hi to him above checking on him to see how he's getting along, from the looks of it she saw him walking and pacing around not socializing with his own kind besides the female one, she eventually leaves returning to her research center but will be back to check on him in an hour.

Afterwards there came four little apes lead by one female adult gorilla wearing a flower painted wrap-dress, a pair of glasses and a name tag necklace approached the human exhibit to meet the rare white skinned human, the she gorilla happens to be a school teacher and the young child like apes she with are her class students who were on a field trip paying a visit at the zoo looking at all the animals starting with the human enclosure. The four ape children who went up to look at the humans below " _ **without falling in**_ " were a young gorilla wearing purple clothing, two chimpanzees boy and girl wearing green clothing, and one that's either a gorilla or some kind of _all black_ chimpanzee wearing darkish blue clothing when Butters caught a glimpse of them above. "Wow check that out, it's not everyday you see an animal with albism." said the little girl chimp who tried to draw a picture of him from her sketch notebook, she titled a little bit to get a better view of him while he looked at her eye to eye at far distances, "I never seen anything like it." said the black colored boy chimp, it seems that according to Zira's belief, Butters is concidered to an albino human judging by his skin and hair. Butters felt a little admired by the young ape's liking, he just smiled and waved at her; the four ape children along with their teacher were surprised at this, seeing a primitive human who knows how to respond like that to a civilized ape, "Well it's like what they say, _human see human do_." said the ape school teacher disregarding his intelligence. But after a five minutes of the human standing still doing nothing but posing for the girl chimp's drawing, the boy gorilla got quite bored and wanted see him do some other tricks when he provokingly threw some peanuts down at him agitating Butters like a pest, the girl chimp tried pushing him away to stop him from doing that to the poor animal but this conflict caused her to accidently drop her spiral bound sketch pad including her pen into the human enclosure! She gets very upset resulting the teacher to break up the fight and move on to the next exhibit with the zookeeper rushing down to get the book out of the enclosure and promise the teacher they'll return it to her at the exit before leave. This gives Butters some spare time as he manage to rush over to the sketch book and pen, one of the male juveniles lay a hand on the book but Butters pulls it away from him which agitates him leading the feral child to agressively chase Butters around like a mad dog. Butters had no choice but to climb up the tree to avoid him while avoiding his fear of heights, he took the rope ladder up to a platform where Libra was but both the fierce males came charging after Butters causing him to roughly kick them off the edges, the guard sees this and hurries down into the enclosure to put a stop to it. Butters gets on a big three feet high branch and opens the book that had the child chimp's name on the cover written _Lucy's do not touch_ with some rabbits, flowers, and butterfly stickers, right before eight seconds, the chimp guard shows up to snatch the book away from Butters! Butters got off the branch and tries to flee for it to where the guard came in dropping the book and pen and passing the guard making a left turn dodging him around the playset tree, sadly the doorway beneath the platform had more ape guards blocking it, one of them pushing him away while the other guard rushed back out of the enclosure with the book and pen; the door gets sealed up and Butters is not too happy with this, it also didn't help that the two human boys continued picking a fight with him, but because Butters's done playing _Mr. nice kid_ he runs up to the one charging at him and after a little rough and tumble Butters gets the upper hand and kicks him in the primate balls which agonized his primitive opponent while the other male tries to attack Butters runs up to him and pushes him back like a foot ball player and easily chases him up to the tree with Libra who is now too timid to come near Butters.

Because of this violent behavior, Butters was sent back into the animal research facility but not without Zira's permission as she made perfectly sure they used a dog leash on him and if he gets aggressive and tries to pounce on them, then they'll have to use the restraining pole on him again, one of the two gorilla-zookeepers with gloves and a dust mask on carried the struggling Bright Eyes by the weight and tossed him into the indoor enclosure, and quickly closed the metal cage door right before they rushed back upstairs and left. Poor Butters started to feel his left bruised knee and shoulder coming back to him after getting shove back into the compound like that, and is discouraged that there's just no way he could get the apes' attention to free him from this horrid prison. After half an hour, Zira returns to the facility to check on Butters one last time, she approaches the enclosure and sees how hurt he feels, "I'm really sorry about what happen today Bright Eyes." she said while looking at the little tear in his eye through the bars, she decided to open the cage door and walk in to soothe him, she called out one of her assistance to guard the entrance for a tiny caution much to their worries considering the human boy to be vicious. Zira went in, carefully coming near her Bright Eyes who did not hesitate even though she's a little bit nervous herself doing this. He faced his head up to her while kneeling down as she gently comforts him, she kneeled down and gently attends his bruises after that fight at the zoo starting with his right arm first, looking at it closer until... "... ... ... _Help_... _me_..." a whisper went into Zira's big right ear... ...she titled her head back staring at Butters with a stunned gaping face, for what she had heard, could it be true? Leopold Butters, Stotch finally reveals to her his true disposition, and spoke again, " _Please_ , _help me_." Zira shook with fear seeing his mouth move now realizing what the janitor had told the animal surgeon back at that animal shelter was right! Even one of the zoo guards noticed this unbelievable event with the same expression as Zira who immediately ran out of enclosure before shutting and locking the cage door, she and the guards rushed back up stairs and sprinted out of the ward (much like same reaction as Zornam). "... _Oh_ _not again_!" annoyed Butters.

Meanwhile the whole ape school class were on their way back over to the bus, but as they reached the gateway exit one of the zoo staffs brought the sketchbook back to it's owner the same young girl chimp who accidentally dropped it in human enclosure earlier named Lucy, she gets her book back, only to discover... one of her blank pages had something marked even after the workers wiped off most of the dirty human prints (only the back and front cover and the fore edges), but while she checked all pages making sure nothing important was torn off or ruined she finds something signed on one of the blank sheets, something that wasn't done by her hands " _or paws whatever_ " something she couldn't believe her own eyes.

By the time their clock reached 12pm around lunch time Butters's sore neck was all healed up and now he's able to speak better, he then hears and sees Zira returning to the research lab, two other apes were coming down the stair passage following her to meet the talking human, one's another lady chimp and the other's a different type of (male) ape who's plainly in a high position. He's an orangutan, the first Butters had seen on a planet like this. He's a little shorter than the gorillas " _just up to Zira's height_ " and slightly round shouldered. His arms are relatively longer so that he often touched the ground with his hands as he walked, which the other apes did only rarely, thus he gave Butters an odd impression of using walking sticks. His head adorned with long hair and sunk between his shoulders, his face frozen in an expression of pedantic meditation, he looked like a venerable and solemn old pontiff. He's also dressed quite differently from the others, in a long black frock coat with a red star in the button hole and black-and-white-striped trousers, both somewhat dusty.

He's followed by a little female chimpanzee carrying a heavy briefcase. Her attitude suggested that she's his humble secretary. Zira shows every sign of respect for him as he turns out to be her boss, the head of the whole research institute who they addressed him as Dr. Zaius. "Here he is, the one I've been telling you about!" expressed Zira showing Zaius the highly distinctive subject. Butters came up to the bars to get a closer look at the orangutan who stared down at his little bright golden hair, white paled skin, and blue eyed appearance. The ape stood silent and responded with a straight face when he sees the human covering up his private part with a blanket. By his expression he felt uninterested until, "... _euh_ , H-Hello there, m-mr. orangutan sir, my name is Leopold Stotch, but most of my kind call me Butters, and not Bright Eyes, I am not like all them crazy wild naked humans, I am just as intelligent and sane as... well... you guys except I'm not a monkey or ape." Butters spoke in front of him behind the bars, but the high authorized ape only lifted one brow up finding it unappealing while Zira nearly smiled for only a second next to him thinking otherwise. Zaius scratched his ear for some time and peered suspiciously into the cage as though scenting some trickery. It was plain to see that the orangutan refused to be convinced. He shrugged his shoulders several times, shook his head, then put his hands behind his back and started pacing up and down the corridor, passing and repassing the enclosure and darting glances in Butters's direction while the other apes waited for his decision in respectful silence. He stopped pacing and decided to run a few tests with the talking little human child in the cage, starting with the classic geometry shape puzzle where he has to put each wooden shaped colored block in the right inner spot of a flat board, number hand pointing trial where the ape says the number and the human has to point his index finger to it on the chart, taking both those tests until the one minute timer alarm goes off, and the most challenging of all... an electronic simon like keyboard where he has to repeat each color that glows pressing his hand on one of the four big buttons and get as many correct as he can without hitting the wrong note, this time without the one minute timer.

It took a while but Butters sat down at a table ten feet away from Zaius at each end like a gentlemen and manage to get all three tests done except for the simon one which he only made it up to only ten copied hits. Zaius knew the third test was quite changeling difficult to master, granted there some people "or apes" could possibly get up to a hundred, but no animal "such as the humans on this planet" could ever figure out problems like that. One of Butters's fingers were sore after pressing down on the simon keys in enclosure. Zira was more intrigued by his intelligence, but to Dr. Zaius, _not so much_. The orangutan came out of the indoor enclosure with a disappointed look disregarding everything the boy had accomplished unlike every human around here and put everything back after the guards shut the cage door. As they walked back up stairs next to the hallway door Dr. Zaius announces to Zira in a pompous manner " **Dr. Zira** , **as head of science** , **I am not convinced by this event** , **what you've shown me here today is nothing but a soulless albino animal who only imitates ape behavior like a parrot would** , **it's nothing more but physical hoax** , _**the sooner he is exterminated the better**_." he said before they both walked through the door.

They all left, Butters once again alone is now giving up hope and wasn't pleased after what Dr. Zaius had uttered about completely ignoring his intelligence and calling him an animal like every other ape around here "That's it! _I HAVE HAD IT_!" cried out Butters upsetting all the experimental critters in cages, after all the abusive shit and all the humiliation he had to take back on his planet is now reverting to this planet, so in a fit of rage Butters kicks the big red ball so hard hitting the tire swing, next he tossed the little wooden chair he sat on up to the metal bars, then he heavily pushes the slide over hitting the hard dusty floor with a loud bang and kept on angrily screeching, jumping around, and kicking the straw litter all over the enclosure like the fierce jungle humans which got Dr. Zaius and the other apes' attention after hearing all that racket from behind the closed facility entrance! Dr. Zaius and the two guards came back down hearing the little lab animals squealing in panic and found the young human standing in the middle of the trashed up compound grunting and breathing in and out hard while covered with a few straws on his head and shoulder. The guards were going to use their hard wooden batons to teach him some manners but Zaius halts them and humbly forbid them to. Butters turns around without the blanket covering up his rear ends and sees the orangutan facing him again. The most surprising thing about this outburst was it's unexpected outcome. Seeing Butters behave like that, Zaius smiled. He had finally detected in him human behavior which confused Butters a bit while remaining silent to catch his breath. His theory was vindicated, this put Zaius in such a good mood that he decided to drop that whole animal termination plan he mentioned earlier and give him one last chance. As much as Butters couldn't get the orangutan's positive side he briefly sees Zira at the stair passage from behind Zaius not looking back and quietly persuades him not to say anything by nodding no with a shush face " _and zip it sign no less_ ". Butters understood her sign language and just kept grunting, plus he bent his legs down a little fooling the imperious ape who eventually leaves the facility alongside the zookeepers and returns to his office getting back to work.

Later in the afternoon, when Butters kept sulking, Zira returned to the facility to check on him once more as she promised, only this time she brought someone with her to witness this magnificent human, someone who's also an ape but also a child like him. She walked down to the enclosure, placed her hands through the bars and gently called out, "Bright Eyes... or... ...Stotch is it? _Lee-oe_..." she tried to get his name right, but the boy got back up from sulking behind the fallen over slide and came up to Zira between the bars and spoke to her one more time, "It's Leopold... Leopold Butters, Stotch!" Zira was almost jumped but was not so shocked like last time as the young ape up above checked to make sure no other ape was coming in here. The coast was clear thankfully as Zira didn't know what to say about his ability except kindly ask some questions "of course" about who he is and where he came from. Butters told Zira the whole story, but before he could do that he wanted to know if this is the same planet Earth or a different Earth in another universe, more amazed by his talking capability she points out to him that _their planet is not called Earth_. Their planet's called Soror which means sister in latin in honor of the great law giver's lost relative's before his death a long, long time ago. Butters knew nothing about any lawgivers but he at least finally knew for sure that this wasn't the same planet they're on judging by not just the bare naked humans who are ( _kind of_ ) the opposite compare to their nature and intelligence, but because it appears to look almost like Earth, only with a different society run by a different race. Butters tells her he came from a planet that was just like her's even though he didn't quite get a good look around the rest of their cities and streets but from what Butters saw from the newspapers four days ago at the Galen Animal DayCare Center it had to be, except on his planet not to offend her, humans were the people and the apes and monkeys were the animals. Zira couldn't believe in this fact, and yet she couldn't deny that on why this boy struggled with the other humans and doesn't behave like them here realizing he's almost like her kind! She let him continue with the rest of his story as he told her how he got to this alternate planet. He tells her about the human grown ups chose four young children of their own kind to test on piloting a super fast space shuttle instead of other animals like chimps due to this PETA organization that's been defending all animals from experimentation, "What!?" surprised Zira "They were willing to sacrifice their own young ones for some crazy request on flying through space to look at all the planets in their solar system?!" "...No just the six upcoming planets passed the moon." Butters replied, he told her he was suppose to take a plane up to Hawaii because of something his parents told about some ceremony called _hapanoa_ that could help get rid of his anger he had at school after fighting with the other students over some personal reasons, "You go to school too?" "Huh, Who said that?" startled Butters. Zira calms him down letting him know the young ape she's with in the facility is the same chimp child who Butters met out in the zoo when she dropped her drawing book in the enclosure he was in, Lucy revealed to be Zira's niece approached next to her in front the sealed pen getting much closer look at the talking human. She didn't scream or freaked out in fear but instead chuckled with glee after recognizing the picture and writing he made on one of her blank pages that said _My name Is BUtterS help me!_ with a rushed up scribble-scrabbled drawing of him and an ape on it. Her mother Cassia called her aunt Zira about this shocking incident and her aunt didn't to this but as clever and smart her niece was like her she decided to bring her here for short visit to see the intelligent boy as long as she promise to keep it all a secret and not tell anyone else about it until she could sort this out to the public. Lucy gave her word to her Aunt Zira while remaining surprise to learn about this event. Butters was starting to gain a liking with these two apes disregarding his upcoming fear and hate for apes and monkeys. But their polite conversation had to wait because it was almost night time and the research center's about close in ten minutes, but Zira promised to come see him again much to Butters's disapproval that he has to sleep on a stack of hay again. Zira says she's sorry that she get him like a bed or anything like, but Lucy complimented on Butters saying she likes him and agrees that he deserves to be free from a cage and see the light before she left with her aunt. With that said Butters began to sense hope coming back to him.

The next day, Zira came back to see Butters again. He woke up and finds one of the zookeepers next to her with a collar and leash as she reminded him not to speak in front of any other ape. Butters didn't know what's going on, but he stayed quiet and calm for her when the guard put the leash over his neck and handed it to her, so she took Butters out of the facility and down the hall while doing exactly as she said whispering it to him. Zira was not taking him back to the zoo or transporting him to another animal menagerie, she took him outside the building through the front entrance as it just so happens to be red-letter day, Zira decided to take him out of the institute for Advance Biological Study - that was the name of the establishment - and show Butters around town! Zira had allowed this only after much hesitation. While walking Butters down the big front porch side by side with no ape looking Zira mutters to him advising about his behavior, "Above all, do be careful not to turn on passers by or bare your teeth or scratch a trustful ape child like my niece who might come up and pet you. I didn't want to muzzle you, but..." " _Wait a minute didn't I_..." Butters pointed out as she stopped and burst out laughing. "Forgive me, forgive me!" she cried "I keep forgetting you have a mind like an ape." " _Or human_." he muttered, she then gave him a friendly tap on the head by way of apology. Her high spirits dissolved his resentment. Butters shared Zira's happiness. She advised Butters to keep walking like a primitive human so that no one else must suspect his nature for the moment, assuring him it's in his own interest. Butters takes her advice in order to survive this outdoor experience. He after four days of captivity inhaled the warm air deeply; at the same time he felt embarrassed to be walking around naked, Butters also felt grotesque and vulgar under the eyes of the apes passing by, who kept staring at him. Zira absolutely refused to let Butters wear clothes in order to plant in. The veterinarian chimp led him to her car that looked like a fresh clean, green, 90's modeled ford explorer, Zira put me into the back seat, sat herself down behind the steering wheel, and drove slowly along the streets.

The town known as Sokwee is the capital of an important simian region Butters had barely glimpsed on, and now he sees one, ape pedestrians, ape motorist, ape shopkeepers, ape businessman, and even an ape hippie. They all dress in modern Earth clothes! By far the whole town's very similar to his town, only less shittier and it's bigger aside from the city surrounded by a jungle, they still had roads like the ones he had back on Earth except these are fairly dirty. The traffic was less heavy than at his home. Their homes and houses looked very modern and similar to the ones he had on earth, not only that but even the stores and fast foods they went by, Walgreen's, 50's McDonald's, Family Dollar, including a 7-eleven!? It all looked just like where Butters came from, the only difference is that most of Sokwee's streets had these high long metal monkey-bars attached from a left building to a right building which might have been their way of crossing the street " _even though they still had the same street crossings on each corner with the stop signs and marked crossings like on Earth for some specific reason_ ", and the city's landmark looked almost like some kind of arabic town living in the middle of an African jungle; taking place somewhere around the late 1990's, a time when people still had phone books, I time when people were renting VHS tapes and had only Microsoft Windows98! " _WOW_... _I wonder if they still have Nintendo 64_." mumbled Butters though this wouldn't come to much of a surprise to him after he read their newspapers, "What's that?" questioned Zira, "Oh nothing I... I'm just sort of surprised by how beautiful your town looks unlike my town which was the same except not so pretty." he replied. Zira was charmed by the young boy's complement, she hardly cared about him wearing a seatbelt while driving him around to give a general picture of the town, she at least placed a towel on the back seat before Butters sat down "... _if you know what i mean_...". Zira stops her car in front of a tall gate where she tells him they're going for a little stroll in the park. Butters didn't mind that at all, he's been wanting to get out and stretch his legs and get a load of their trees, ponds, ducks, squirrels, and blue birds flying by. However that's not why Zira brought him here. She parked the car and began their outdoor stroll.

After walking three miles down the trail passing big large palm trees and trash cans, they've come to a more quiet path in a small forested area where there weren't anyone walking by. So they continued the rest of their conversation under the shades of the trees as Butters told Zira about what happened on their voyage, he told her about his three passengers, Kenny, Hector, and Timmy who died along the journey. Timmy when the ship crash landed, Hector during the hunt out in the Congo rainforest, but Kenny was no where to be seen or heard from after Butters escaped from whoever those notorious hunting apes were, which left him to wonder if he was dreaming or not. That's when Zira had something very important to tell him, "I don't think you realize, do you, the danger you are in here on Soror?" "Why because I can talk to ape people?" "No, listen very carefully, your launch, your ship has been discovered; at least what's left of it after being pillaged. It has aroused the curiosity of our researchers. They realize it was not manufactured here." "But that can't be, our ship landed into a deep lake, unless... oh wait... _the space pod tank_!" "Correct. Now we have built similar machines but not so perfect. From what you've told me as you can remember, your ship must have either gone through a black hole or it flew faster than the speed of time, but that's just my theory. We've already launched artificial satellites around our planet, the last one being occupied by a living being: a man, a human. We had to destroy it in flight because we were unable to recover it." "So humans here were also used as spaceship experiments too." "Yes but we certainly don't use our own children for such risky tests like these, plus the government according _our PETA helpers_ had decided to put a stop to these primate testings so we're setting most of them free into the wild, but poachers always keep hunting them down out in the rainforests which is why we keep most of them here in our zoos, but we also have some sanctuaries for them to repopulate." "... _Geewiz_." "Anyway, parts of your spacecraft has been discovered. Some of our scientists have put forward the theory that the machine comes from another planet and that it was inhabited. They are unable to go a step further and imagine intelligent beings in human form, meaning they don't believe there's any human who carry's same the knowledge and behavior like us." "Oh, _Wait_! If they think it's all a big hoax then y-you have to tell them the truth Zira, I'm really sick and tired of sleeping in smelly old hay! I keep itching every time I lay in it, and I'm tired of living naked with no bed or pillow or anything but a blanket to cover my shame! Honest Zira I do appreciate you and Lucy supporting me, but I aint no dog, I'm no animal; I'm just a kid, a kid like her and those other apes her age who came at to the zoo and one of them dumped peanuts at me, my name ain't Bright Eyes, it's Butters, Leopold Butters Stotch! ... _h_ - _h_ - _heuh_ - _h_ - _h_... Does nobody, no ape care about my pain?" Zira looked at poor Butters's grieving look, she crouched down a bit and both her hands on his shoulders, "Of course I care about you, no child so magnificently innocent like you with an ape soul deserves to be called an animal, I curse that old blinkered pseudo-scientific ape Zaius for doubting your true nature." She tells him the reason she's been keeping this a secret was because Zaius being one of the highest authorities representing official science would dismiss her for scientific heresy if she tried to reveal the truth in his case like Butters suggested, then Butters will end up getting his brain fatally operated. "I wouldn't want to lose you to that stubborn mule." "So that's it, I'm gonna spend the rest of my life in a cage all naked." "...Not if the plan I have in mind succeeds." "The plan, what is the plan?" "In a month from now they'll be holding their annual biological conference. It's an important event. A large public is admitted to it and the representatives of all the leading papers attend. Now for us public opinion is a more powerful element than Zaius, more powerful even than the gorillas. This will be your chance. When this congress is in full session you must lift the veil because you're going to be introduced by Zaius, who, as I told you, is preparing a long report on you and your famous instinct. Then the best thing would be for you to speak up yourself to explain your case. This would cause such a sensation that Zaius wouldn't be able to stop you. It will be up to you to explain yourself clearly to the assembly and convince the crowd and the journalists, as you have already convinced me. Once the gorillas are forced to bow before public opinion, they'll soon make those idiot orangutans see reason. Many of them, after all, are not so stupid as Zaius but... ...Are you alright? You look a bit tired." "... _Auuhhh_... _my head hurts_ , could you repeat all that one more time to me?" Zira chuckled again, adored by Butters's reactions, understanding that he is still a child and he cannot memorize all this by himself, "Alright I'll make this short for you; Cornelius, my lawfully wedded spouse, is the only one besides my niece whom I have spoken about you and he has promised to do all he can for you. He will help you as so will I on this procedure _L_ - _l_ - _l_... pardon me, but what was your true name again little one? Something with... _butter_?" "I told you m-my name is Butters, _my full name is Leopold Stotch_ , _but most of the kids on my planet call me Butters_." "... _Butters_ , is that like your nickname?" "Yeah pretty much." " _Hm Hm_ , I was going to say because your hair is like the same color as-." " _Oh_ _I get it_." they both laughed with joy sharing a special together as Zira then asked, "Might I call you by your first name if that's alright?" " _Leopold?_ Well nobody often calls me by my first name but... sure why not. Leopold it is." " _Leopold_ , a musician. You are way beyond special." Zira admired, "aw _shucks_." charmed Butters.

After their long conversation, Zira took Butters out to another trail leading out to a near riverbank of ferns where she tells him her husband Cornelius is waiting for them there stating he naturally wants to see the human beforehand so as to check the incredible account she had given him, that's partly why Zira brought Butters here, she arranged to meet with him, which wouldn't take long. They came up to the bank and found Cornelius, he's a fine looking chimpanzee, older than Zira certainly, but extremely young for a learned academician. Butters sees Cornelius who looks at him with an exceptionally keen and intense expression. "What do you think of him?" Zira whispered to Butters but he didn't know what to think except muttered, "I think he looks fine in that suit." So they went up to him as both Zira and Cornelius embraced each other in the manner of lovers in the park. He opened his arms wide without glancing in Butters's direction. In spite of what she told him about this boy, it's clear that Butters's presence counted more for him than that of a pet animal. Zira herself forgot Butters for a moment and the two chimps exchanged long kisses on the muzzle. They then stopped as Zira tells her husband, "Darling, we are not alone." "Only the three of us here." Butters spoke in front the couple. "What is that?" Cornelius exclaimed with a start. "Oh I forgot, eh... Good morning C-Cornelius, my name is Butters Stotch, but you can call me by my first name Leopold if you want cause she likes that name." Butters said politely with a tiny sense of humor, "Well I never!" greatly surprised the learned chimpanzee. Zira burst out laughing and introduced the child to him, "Dr. Cornelius if the Academy, Leopold Butters Stotch, or Leopold he he, an inhabitant of the solar system or, to be more precise, the planet Earth." "It's a pleasure to meet you sir, Zira told me you were here, it's nice to see you have a good wife who help cares for me." Butters raised his hand at him for greetings hand shake while the male ape shied away for a second. "So it's true?" he muttered, looking at Zira in utter bewilderment. "Darling am I in the habit of telling you lies?" Cornelius pulled himself together and after a moment of hesitation, he shook Butters's hand, "How do you do?" "How do you do?" Butters replied "sorry I'm naked, just so you know I'm not a human animal like the ones you have on your planet." "And you really come from another planet?" " _Yup_ , the planet Earth." Butters explains to him the same story he told Zira about how he got here and that his planet was almost the same as theirs except apes were the animals and the people were humans while trying not to offend the civilized chimpanzee. After a while Cornelius stood stern, looking up at the sky for two seconds but then looks down at Butters who's now looking worried that he's unconvinced and might possibly hurt him, but Cornelius instead turned lenient to him finding his story to be so unusual and yet so fascinating, saying "As a scientist I deeply sympathize in simplicity even though I don't think that was a wise choice for your people to treat their own children like that, but do not be frightened little fellow, I am not upset, for the scientific spirit ignores all self-esteem." Butters was relieved to hear and made a fair acquaintance. As a result, Cornelius agreed to help the young bright human on the upcoming congress whatever difficulties may occur.

Throughout the month Butters remained in the research facility while Zira secretly hid some books in the enclosure for him to learn and study about their culture and civilization with a flashlight to see and read under the litter every night. Zira took him to the park fairly often to meet Cornelius, and together they would prepare the speech Butters was to give before the congress. The date was fast approaching, which made Butters quite nervous, but Zira assured him that all would be well. Zaius had checking up on him a few times but with Zira's advice he fooled the orangutan acting the human animals kids from the zoo while his sanity's kept in contact. During the week preceding the congress Zaius paid Butters several more visits, multiplying more ridiculous tests, while his secretary filled several notebooks observations and conclusions concerning him. Most them were a little complicated, and some were a pretty easy, but Butters stayed silent every time he came to his enclosure and hypocritically did his best not to appear more intelligent than he wished until the big day.

The long-awaited date finally arrived, but it was only on the third day of the congress that they came to fetch Butters, the first two devoted to theoretical debates. Butters was kept informed of the proceedings by Zira. No one suspected the real truth except her and Cornelius. She whispered in the child's ear as she took him out of the cage, "There'll be a vast crowd and the whole of the press. They're all on suspense and know there's something unusual afoot. It's excellent for you. Take courage!" Butters badly needed her support. He felt terribly nervous; he had rehearsed his speech all night. He knew it by heart and it was bound to convince the most of these apes, but was haunted by the fear that he might not be allowed to speak. Butters was taken in a caged-in truck again and found himself among four human kids counting the ones from the zoo, the two feral boys and Libra who Butters addresses her by the name _Cheeta_ " _why?_ " ...because to him she sounded like a cheetah with the noises she made when they first encountered each other. They arrived outside an enormous building with a cupola on top. A couple of chimp guards lead them on a leash into the building in some quiet waiting room where they're put into each separate cage. Every now and then the apes shouted out a number and one of the humans get dragged off from their cages. It didn't take too long but Butters's number was called out by a majestic gorilla in black uniform, being the last caged human to be taken out. Butters was now taken into a meeting hall in the presence of the grand council, the whole congress, it was a gigantic indoor amphitheater, every row of seats swarming with apes, several thousands of them all around above Butters who felt a bit of stage frights, "... _Oh boy_ , _there sure are a whole lot of apes_...!" he quietly muttered without them hearing him, but Butters stood still in the center of a circle resembling a circus arena where a platform had been erected. Each different simian species. The seats nearest were occupied by members of the congress, all them were learned scientists wearing kind of the same black and white business outfits, almost all of them were orangutans. Among their group were a small number of gorillas and chimpanzees and a tiny number of unusual looking apes Butters couldn't tell whether they were _gorillas_ _or chimpanzees_... aside from that, he couldn't even see Cornelius among the latter, not even Zira who's bound to be sitting somewhere among the crowd. Butters needed at least the support of a glance from her. Butters mounted the platform by the guards' command next to an impressive-looking gorilla sitting next to him (with a microphone) and gets a little nervous and embarrassed around this massive crowd. Butters then remembers all of what Zira and Cornelius taught him and by the books he read, he pulls himself together and stood calm facing 20 feet in front of him, the one and only ape leader, The Ape President who's a large gorilla perfectly dressed in a clean cotton lounge-suit and sitting in the elevated court room bench ready to witness this case. Zaius took his seat among some lukewarm applause. The president gorilla rang his bell, obtained silence, and announced he was giving the illustrious Zaius leave to speak for the purpose of introducing the child about whom he had already addressed the assembly. The orangutan began his speech. During this time Butters tries his best to swallow that fear and assume an intelligent attitude as possible. When Dr. Zaius spoke about Butters, the child bowed, putting his hand to his chest, which at first gave rise to some laughter that was promptly stifled by the bell. Butters put his hand down and stood still, waiting for the end of the speech. Zaius then taunts Butters with some silly tricks to perform on the platform. After that he ended his test on the young human by declaring that he's nothing more but a talking parrot capable of repeating a few words and he hoped to make him do this in front of the assembly. When the ape handed him a box of multiple fastenings, Butters instead of participating in this animal exercise used another trick up his sleeve " _even though he's still completely naked with no clothes on_ ". After all the humiliation he had to take on this planet, his hour had to come. Butters raised his hand, gently tugging the leash held by a guard, he approached the microphone and addressed the president. "Wait a minute! I-I mean Mr. President," he said in his best voice, "it, it is with great honor that I shall open this box, and I can perform whatever it is… you want me to do here, but before I do this task, I would like to make an announcement that I swear will astonish your highest court sir." Butters had articulated very clearly and each of his words hammered away. The result was what he had anticipated. All the apes remained glued to their seats, dumb-founded, holding their breath. The journalists even forgot to take notes, none of the photographers had the presence of mind into record this historic moment.

The president gaped at me. As for Dr. Zaius, he seemed to be in a towering rage. " **Mr**. **President!** " he yelled, " _ **I must protest**_ …" But he stopped short, overwhelmed by the ridiculousness of a of a discussion with a man. Butters took advantage of this to go on with his speech, all he had learn from his two ape defenders. "Mr. President, I insist with the greatest respect, but also with the at… _u_ - _utm_ - _m_ - _most_ , utmost firmness, that this favor be granted me. Once I explain myself, I swear on my honor that I shall bow to the demands of the very illustrious Zaius." He said in unbelievable details. After moments of silence, the president looked a little stern until... he including all the apes hysterically burst out with laughter, sobs, and cheers surprising Butters who nearly thought he was done for! The president recovers his composure while not taking his eyes off him. He eventually came to a decision and rang his bell. " **I** …" he stammered, " **I really don't know how to address you**." "…Oh just call me bu… … …you can call me _Leopold_ sir." " **Leopold**? … **Yes** , _**well**_ , **la-** **Leopold** , **I think that** , **in view of the exceptional nature of the case** , **the scientific congress over which I have the honor to preside is entitled to listen to your announcement**." A fresh wave of applause greeted this decision. Butters swallowed his fear and stood bolt upright in the middle of the platform, adjusted the microphone up to his height and started the following the speech he's been practicing over and over for a month.

"Illustrious President, Noble Gorillas, Learned Orangutans, and Wise Chimpanzees, _Oh Great Apes_! I Leopold Butters, Stotch, the human child, beg leave to address you. I know my appearance is grotesque, my figure is repulsive, my smell is sickening, and the color of my skin and hair is awful. I know the sight of this vulgar body of mine offends you, but I also know I am addressing the wisest and most learned apes of all, those whose minds are capable of rising above mere sensory impressions and of perceiving the essential substance of being apart from his wretched material exterior…" The pompous humility of this opening had been suggested by Zira and Cornelius, who knew it was liable to touch the orangutans. Butters continued the rest of his unique speech, "Listen to me oh Great Apes! For I can walk like you and talk like you, and not like a mechanical toy or parrot. I can also think, I can understand what you say just as I say myself. Just to let Your Lordship and everyone else in this courthouse know this astounding truth, not only I am a rational creature, not only does this p-par-pa...paradox... _paradoxically_ inhabit this body but the fact is... I am not from this planet you call Soror, why I'm from a planet I call Earth, where my people are just as smart, civilized, and are just as peaceful as you all are, and they wear clothes like you." The apes were stunned to hear all that, Butters asked permission if he could go up to the chalkboard so he could explain how he got here, the guards were not so sure about this but with the president's interest he ordered them to release him from his leash so he could prove how clever he is at demonstrating his backstory to the council. The guards loosened the lead from his collar as Butters rushed up to the chalkboard and quickly drew a picture of the space shuttle he flew in, after that he rushed back to the microphone explaining the president's question about what he was doing in space, "Well you see... ... _uh_ , ... _my_... _family_ flew me up in this spaceship with them called TMZ _something_ , to explore other planets in space, which I'm sure some of you who are astronauts wanted to do. My parents crash landed here by accident, they... _they_ _got_... they got _vaporized_ , in the explosion of the ship! I survived in an escape pod tank and ended up in the jungle helpless, with no food, no shelter, and... And no one... to turn to. ... ... ...Anyway I been caught by _what I believe_ ape poachers in the forest, but I escaped down the river which took me to your place. That's all I can remember" he continued and made his final speech, "Look this is what I wanted to tell you, Oh Great _Wise Apes_! It is up to you now to decide whether I should be treated like an animal and end my life in a cage after such an astonishing adventure. I'm just a civilized human kid with no family or friends, or anything to wear, and I've only been in the 5th grade of my school, I voyaged here without any bad attitude, inspired by... _th_ - _the_ spirit of discovery. Since I came to know you, I do find you incredible and hospibill... _hos_ - _hospitable_ and I admire you with all my heart, including some apes I know back at the zoo and laboratory who could help me learn more about your culture. I am happy to be here, so that you can all understand who I really am. So please Oh Great Powerful Apes, m-may I please be... uncollared." Leopold Butters Stotch ended his touching speech in front of the president around the whole ape rally, exhausted, in total silence. Butters said it in his best words, and lord knows what their decision will be. Suddenly, like a clap of his hands together, this simple gesture produced an amazing effect and was the signal for an absolute uproar. The whole hall spontaneously gave vent to an enthusiastic outburst that no pen could ever describe! Butters had won over his audience, he never thought it was possible, nor did he think anyone like his own people from his planet would ever applaud to him considering he didn't exactly told these people what his kind were really like and the way they've treated apes and other animals. This whole assembly broke into such a positive commotion with cheers and applause so big, Butters felt unsteady on his feet with pride and dignity. Dr. Zaius had just risen from his seat in fury and was striding up and down the platform with his hands behind his back, as he did in front the research enclosure. Butters was extremely stunned in "a good way" so much that he quickly fainted by this gesture.

After the next five hours, Butters had a dream of him in bed being comfort by his happy mother Linda Stotch "Mom?" he muttered, "Oh darling you're awake, _and **alright**_..." she said, the false Linda and bedroom went blurry and after one blink of his eyes, he now sees only a happy Zira sitting in the exact direction facing him! Butters woke up from his long dormant and finds himself lying on a bed with soft gentle pillows in a room. Zira and Cornelius were attending him, while some gorillas in uniform held back a crowd of journalists and photographers who were trying to approach him from outside. "Magnificent!" Zira whispered in his ear, "You've won." "Well done young lad," said Cornelius, "together we're going to do great things." He tells Butters that the Grand Council had just held a special meeting and had decided to grant the young human child his eternal freedom! "There were some who opposed it," he added, "but public opinion demanded it and they had to yield." "So, I'm free, free for good?!" Butters asked, "Yes dear," answered Zira, "for the good of apekind you will never be put in cage ever again. This is where you will be living. They thought about letting you have your own shelter like one of our apartments, but because they knew you are very young and have same personality of a child ape... well... we suggested... taking you under our wing, if it's what you choose." Butters gazed at Zira after what she's trying tell him and replied "...You mean... take me in, adopt me? Like I'm..." " _Ehehe_... _eh_... Let's not go deep into that but... _in a word_." Cornelius nervously said. Butters glanced down on the sheets in tears, Zira and Cornelius wondered why he was sobbing. Then Butters looked back up to them with a smile and said, " _Gosh_ , I don't know what to say, you two helped freed me from human captivity and are willing to take me into your care, I really, really... ...Zira and Cornelius, I humbly thank you with extreme gratefulness, and I would be honored to stay with you and live at your house for all time! Maybe not all the time because soon I'll have to find a job when I get older." Zira and Cornelius laughed so hard over his sweet, naive, and adorable personality, they dearly wouldn't mind him to staying with them, not like a pet, but like another member of the family, that way they can learn more about his world and what his people were like " _yeah_ , _wont they learn about that_ ". Butters then noticed he was wearing some pajamas, over his nude body; _it was one of Cornelius's_. The robe was too big for him, though he should be a little grotesque that he's _wearing a chimpanzee's bath robe_ , but Cornelius let's him know they'll fit him out completely tomorrow and he'll have decent clothing for this evening. They called in a tailor; another chimpanzee came in and greeted him with great courtesy. In less than two hours the tailor succeeded in making Butters an acceptable pair of children's clothing for his size. Butters was finally back to wearing clothes again, and Zira looked at him like she had never seen him before.

Ever since yesterday at the congress, the news kept spreading all over Sokwee, about the genuine human alien from another galaxy, many apes besides Cornelius and Zira were adored by him and his charming charisma, winning over their hearts with his tragic backstory (that's supposedly false) and are bound to make him famous all around their world for his heroic independence against Public Opinion proving how civilized he was to ape society. Today Butters gets to explore more of the ape city, starting with a little shopping spree down at an ape plaza known as the Hippo-Hop Mall while keeping paparazzi apes away to give him space. Butters held on to Zira's hand the whole time as he understood he was new to all this and checked all their stores for just a little browsing while getting something to eat at fast food restaurant called Fish Queen which is almost similar to Burger King by its architecture and theme. Their food tasted different, they were more juicy and tender, Butters tried their fired fish sandwich and he jumped to mouthwatering delight! "Wow," amazed Butters after chewing and swallowing the food "your food is way more better the ones I ate on my planet! Which were the same food you serve here, but fresher and less greasy." "I am glad you're enjoying our community so far." Admired Zira. But while they were sitting together at the restaurant table, Zira sat silent and looked downcast as Butters questioned "I'm sorry did I say something wrong?" "Oh dear me No!" she replied, "It's just that… my god there's just no way for me to tell you this but…" "… _Yes_ …" "…Leopold, there's another human that was found, it was another human considered to be albino much like what we thought of you, having very bright skin and yellow hair _what you call blonde_ , I might believe he's one of your friends you told me about from the spaceship you crashed landed." "… … …What!?" muttered Butters as Zira explains, "He was captured and rescued by wildlife rangers from an infamous gang of poachers…" "Poachers!?" " _Sshhushh_ … He's fine and well. It was reported three weeks ago. I didn't want to tell you this until after Soror's society had accepted you." "… … _Kenny_!"

What Zira told Butters was an incredible surprise for him now that his long lost friend is alive and safe they could be reunited and explore this planet together, much to Zira thinking otherwise. She tells him he's hanging out at the Congo Wellfare which happens to a Sanctuary for human orphans only 6 miles outside of Sokwee near the deep African forests. Zira decided to take Butters there knowing how desperate he needed to find him after they got separated from the hunt after a month. After they finished lunch Zira took Butters out from the mall while holding hands like a toddler holding on to a legal guardian while crossing the street as they went down the parking lot to get to her car, they ran into some gorilla with his pet dog (beagle) on a leash strongly barking at them; it was the human the dog was barking at like he was one of feral ones from the zoo. But the restrains him revealing to the same ape nurse who cared him from the animal shelter, Zira's sister Cassia along with her daughter Lucy aka Zira's beloved niece and another young male ape, the same black chimp like ape who Butters saw from the zoo next to Lucy. "Wow it's nice to see the one and only Leopold." greeted Cassia, "I believe we've already met." Replied Butters humoring her, Zira was glad to see her sister again while Butters was glad to meet Lucy again as much as she was, Butters reaches out his hand for a polite hand shake greeting to prove how tamed he was to them, Zira and Cassia kindly didn't mind so Lucy was brave enough to slightly touch his cleaned left hand, kids like her had never touched the hand of a human like him before. Lucy shyly lets go of his hand when he cheerfully looked at her eye to eye, much to her mother and aunt felling so proud. Lucy then introduces to her best friend who greeted Butters with a gentle handshake as well, "… _Wow_ , it's nice to see you in person, Leopold." "Nice to meet you too… _eh_ …?" "…Oh, Bombo." " _B_ - _bom_ , _Bombo_ , Bombo?" "Yup that's my name." "Hey uh not to offend you or anything b-but... are you a gorilla or a chimp?" "I'm a _chimpanzee_ , but are you really a human who can talk?" "Why just an average talking white human kid from Earth, but it's a pleasure of meeting you Bombo." " _Say_ how old are you?" "Oh eh-I'm about n-nine years old but I'll be ten in six months." The young black skinned chimpanzee with pink lips was very surprised considering the fact that he happens to be nine years old too which almost makes them have something in common, except to him and Lucy for a child the young human sure sounds kind of like a grown up with that strange stuttering voice. Bombo was here because he wanted to spend time with his best friend Lucy at her house, but Lucy's Mom brought them to the vet next to the mall where they were she was going to get her and Lucy's dog fixed. Butters wanted to pet the dog, but the snarling beagle was going to bite his hand as Zira safely pulled him away from the dog. Zira told Cassia wanted to stay and chant with her but she has to hurry and take Butters for a personal visit with someone. Cassia and the two kind ape children blessed them goodbye and hope they'll meet again, and Butters happily promises them.

So Zira after fueling more gas in her car, with Butters now sitting in the front seat, they drove all the way down from the city to some jungle game preserve where they took a few trails into the forest and parked at a beautiful looking cottage in between big long wire fences. It was the Congo Wellfare, they finally made it. Zira still held on to Butters's hand for safety while Butters was so anxious to see Kenny after a long time in a cage. They went up to the door and after a knock they are both heavily greeted by the she-ape owner of this organization, another chimpanzee lady named Lisa who was extremely surprised to meet the famous ape intelligent human child Leopold, "Boy I sure have a lot of ape fans." He said which made her and Zira laugh at his charming complement, but Lisa then states, " _I believe we been expecting you_." She tells him they kept the other human who looked almost identical to him in their reserve after he was rescued not too long ago and they've been caring for him like all the other humans orphans who lost their parents in the wild. Butters then sneered at her telling her "My friend Kenny is no animal and I'm gonna prove it! Where is He!?" Zira tries calming him down while Lisa feeling speechless took a bucket of oranges and strawberries and guides them to where Kenny was at, they went out the back door where they find a tall wired gateway fence. They opened the fence and found a group of 28 naked feral human children who were all waiting to have their snacks. Lisa was excited to see them here up front as she tosses some, feeding them while Butters tries to identify one of them. There were five girls and thirteen boys, Butters couldn't see him anywhere but after five seconds, he sees a white skinned kid up his height with blonde fuzzy hair approaching the group from out of the shrubs… Butters sees his face and recognized it without the hood "It's Kenny!" cried Butters letting go of Zira's paw and ran up to him while trying not to walk over the other humans having their snacks. Zira didn't want him to get any closer but Butter strongly rushed up to the bare naked Kenny, at last they're reunited as Butters embraces him. But suddenly Kenny screeched startling Butters who quickly took his arms off him and violently gets kicked away by his mud covered bare feet! "Wait, wait, Kenny it's me Butters!" Lisa immediately came to them and hands Kenny his treat calming him down. Butters couldn't understand why Kenny attacked him like that, he sees him acting all primitive and such. He gets back up one more time without embracing him or hugging him and just slowly walked up to him uttering, "Kenny, it's me Butters, your best friend, remember? Sorry I look different, I'm wearing clothes now. _Kenny_ , _Kenny_ …" Kenny looking all scruffy and dirty with mud on his arms and legs eventually finished eating the two strawberries Lisa gave and faces Butters for a few seconds, he only looked at him with a straight face like he hasn't seen him for a long time and his only respond: he drooled down to his mud covered bare feet a tiny piece of strawberry and grunted a little. Butters didn't know what to do, it's like he lost his mind ever since the two were separated. The whole group stated leaving to the other grassy field around the park to play. Kenny was about to depart with them joyfully jumping up and down with his legs bent as Butters tried one last time to convince Kenny to remember him, he walked back a couple of steps to catch up but turns around and looks at Butters facing him again, "Kenny… please…" Butters tearfully begs, "I know it's been about a week since I was gone, but we're here now and you don't pretend acting like those guys." Kenny still kept a straight face, but then smiles at Butters, could it be, does Kenny recognize and remember him now? "Kenny?" Butters sees a happy face, but that happy face was actually more of a _fear_ - _grimace_ (an expression chimps make when they're afraid or excited) and his last response to Butters: he pisses near him hitting only his ape made shoes, after that he took a few droppings next to one of the shrubs and kept jumping all primitive like while slightly _**hooting**_ , " _Hoot hoot ho ha huh hu auh auh_!" Then he turned back around and walked on two bent legs when a young feral girl came to him and held hands with each other, and both walked away leaving Butters who started grieving. Zira walks over to comfort poor Butters. She tells him she asked Lisa if there was ever a chance his friend spoke to the rescuers or any ape and they're replies was not that they could remember from the wicked poachers who were caught and sent to prison but ever since the boy was transported to this park and nurtured he never spoke a word ever since three weeks. Butters finally realizes while it has been just a month, Kenny was already horribly assimilated by the human animal tribe, and from the looks of it he has his own mate like when it came to Butters and Cheeta. "… _Well_ , a-at least you're happy here… with your own kind, you dumb stupid animal!" grieved Butters running back into the building and out to the car as Zira ran after him. Butters kept kicking the bottom of the car but Zira stops him and tries calming anger down, she turns him around by the arms facing him, "Butters please calm yourself!" she shouted, but as she sees the whimpering look with wet cheeks she too begins to weep but lets go of his arms. Then she cradles him in her arms ...like a mother would... with affection over his loss, "I'm so sorry, if there was anything I could do to fix that..." "… _No_ …" muttered Butters, " _it makes no difference now_ ; I just have to accept his fate and move on. But I thank you kindly for showing that he's safe and unharmed. Like I said, at least he's happy there, and if he's, well then I'm happy too." Butters stops grieving and calms down.

They both get back into the car and drove away, returning to the city. While Zira still whimpered a little understanding how an orphan child like him would feel of not having any friends or family of his own kind, she still kept it strong and hopes that Leopold Butters Stotch will be okay, for she and Cornelius are going to do all they can in their power to make him feel right at home and help him get an education, and make new friends and even if they have to be civilized talking apes like Bombo and Lucy. From now on, Butters accepts his new home on Soror, The Planet of Apes.


	5. EPV NEVER SEND A HOMO TO DO AN APE'S JOB

Episode V: NEVER SEND A HOMO TO DO AN APE'S JOB

* * *

Butters and his space crew, Kenny, Timmy, and Hector had all disappeared into space when the cruelty of man from their planet Earth forcefully used them to do a corrupted experimental piloting test on one of their highly advanced space shuttles that could blast off faster than 17,400 miles to 6.8 billion miles reaching all the way up to Pluto in about a day only to turn back the other way, instead the ship flew into great high speed passing by the moon, Mars, safely through the asteroid belt, passing by Jupiter, and as it reached Saturn after three hours over 60 million kilometers, the ship vanished into thin air after flying faster than the speed of time which send the whole crew of young innocent human children traveling into an alternate universe and landed on another that was almost like Earth, but different. It was a planet called Soror, a planet ruled by apes, apes who were the advanced civilized people while the humans on their planet were nothing but wild, vulgar, and primitive animals, it was an uncanny reversal between one and four different races. The children had all perished in Soror, however... Two, Leopold Butters Stotch and Kenny McCormick were the only evolved humans with sane child-like personalities to survive this journey as Butters got captured and put into a cage for quite some time until two kind hearted chimpanzee scientists helped him prove his true nature to society and was accepted into their culture, while Kenny was mysteriously reverted into a savage feral native like the rest of the human locals of Soror. Poor Butters felt deeply alone being the only human with the same mind of an ape on this planet and had no friends or family, but the two chimps were willing to take him in for the time being on what his future will be on a planet of apes.

 _But that time was about to come_...

* * *

 _Five months later_... Deep in space, beyond the moon, next to a red planet that looked almost like Mars by its color came a big white light. It looked like some kind of thick fiery comet that was about to hit a planet which looked an awful lot like Earth itself. But this was no comet, it was a space shuttle that was flying this way very fast towards the planet after passing the moon, but then it started slowing down as it touched the atmosphere layers. Thus another unidentified spacecraft from another universe crash lands on the planet Soror.

It went plummeting from the sky, all the way down on land, into deep the layers of a tropical jungle hurtling through trees, knocking them down, and rams into a pond! This spacecraft was a lot different from the previous one that landed months ago, this one appeared to be some kind of large plump space capsule labeled by the same NASA company. After two minutes of the ship's hatch opens up, two bruised hands came up and grabbed the sill, climbing out of the capsule, rose a child with a torn brown winter coat and blue-red puffball hat. It's Stan Marsh! With no explanation on how or why he was traveling in one of SpaceX's most unsustainable warp speed spacecrafts, Stan came crawling out of the ship's hatch looking a little pale and dirty like he's been in a gang fight as he takes a quick look at where he landed, he breathed in and out seeing that he's in an unknown forest. He sled down the panel into the 2 ft water and swam up to the shore line. "... _ **uaeh**_... ... _ **K**_ - _k_ - _Kyle_... I'm gonna kill you for this!" uttered Stan while drying himself from the pond. Stan could hardly walk with his legs after such a heavy landing, he sat by a tree to rest himself for a while. He eventually gets back up when he hears something approaching him. "Hello!" hollered Stan. Suddenly, from out of the shrubs came three persons, two completely naked adults with long hair and beards, and one that looked a bit like a teenager who's also fully naked. They from 12 feet away kept starring at Stan who had no idea what's going on, he didn't know where he's at and he didn't know why there are scruffy looking humans who had no clothes on, with tons of facial hair grown all over their bodies and smelled like they haven't bathed or showered or brushed their teeth in years! "...Dude _,_ you guys are all naked, and... _aawgh GOD_! _You guys smell like dead rodents_!" Stan at first thought he was in some nude camp, (a nude camp that's in the middle of an rainforest) and tries to ask them, " _Uh_... Hey um...my name is Stan and uh, I need to know where I'm at, you see I..." the three naked males walked up to Stan on bent legs and gazed at him a little closer. The two adults with long beards and hair walked around him in a circle next to the pond while grunting and hooting. "I am not gonna like this." fretted Stan. Then one of them barked like a dog and hooted a few times, they started ripping apart the rest of his clothes, and waving them in the air! Stan struggled through the group and tried to get away with no shirt or coat on but gets pulled back by the leg when one feral teen grabbed him while one feral men next to them kept pounding his hands on the ground! As Stan gets scandalized not knowing what they're doing except to his belief he's getting mugged, but the other wild adult male screeched when he got too close to the water and tripped over, his tiny splash alarmed the other two causing that ground pounding male to go berserk and heavily swung his arm at the teen male so hard knocking him down but then trips over Stan giving him sometime to escape. Stan manages to get back on his feet with no shoes on and starts to run. Stan had to get his hat first, it was lying on the shrub when it fell out of the feral boy's hand. He snatched it out from the stems right before the big hairy native got back up and started to chase him, this gave Stan an idea as he chased him around the pond's shoreline, luckily Stan ran faster than him as he was able to get to the water and slashed some at the psycho's face causing him to stop and back away with a few tiny grunts, "Now stay back!" Stan warned, he then took his torn hat and left.

Stan didn't care which direction he was supposed to take as long as it meant avoiding whoever those savage jungle dwellers were, only now what's left of him to wear are nothing but a partly ripped pair of underwear and his hat. Stan's about half naked and barefooted, this was definitely not the day he was expecting. But to make matters worst, there were snakes and spiders, everywhere! A big rhinoceros viper pounces and hisses from the shrubs where Stan had to back away, then he started getting caught into a spider's web where he had to tare the silk off his face and hair; the big spider itself (argiope spider) that was dangling on the broken web on a branch was about to pounce on him too! Stan ducks from the spider's attack, sending it to land at the snake's coils before the vicious reptile could strike Stan's foot with it's venomous fangs. After dodging both their attacks this caused the two predators to wrestle each other while Stan gets away. Stan tries to run to a safe spot but how can he when he's in the middle of a tropical rainforest where his bare feet were hurting even more when he kept walking into stones, twigs, and leaves all over the ground infested with ants, beetles, mantis and other crawling insects he had to wipe off his legs!

He then injures his right foot after stepping into a prickly thistle herb, " _AAow FUCK_!" he screeched in pain "GOD I hate this jungle, ...can't even tell whether I'm in Africa or South America, why the hell am I talking to myself again!?" Stan gets hopelessly lost until he hears something from up the hill on the south-western side of the jungle without running into more spiders and snakes. It took a couple of minutes due to his aching foot but Stan made it up to the top and found a clearing area, but after getting a closer look, passed the bushes and more palm trees, the place was inhabited by more bare naked humans. Stan hid behind one of the trees and took a little peak. Apparently these humans seem to be more than natives considering much like the last four he came across they didn't wear any loincloths and had no hut houses or anything, they only had big leaf made nests (the kind made for gorillas out in the wild). This was another small group that has about six adult males, four adult females, and five kids who looked to be about his age as he could see. Stan tried observing their manners without making a sound, by far they seem to be quite peaceful until one of the adult males got agitated by one of the kids then started screeching and beats him to death! While that's going on one of the females tried to pull her offspring away but the big hairy bearded attacker violently bit her on the finger and pushed her back as the aggressive male did something even more horrifying when he and some other thoughtless adult male began chewing on the poor feral child's arm and leg with their bare teeth, mauling down his flesh while the infant squealed in agony, after that, they on both ends strongly ripped off a leg from the carcass, " _JESUS CHRIST_!" shrieked Stan watching this horrific cannibalism! But his shrieking alerted the two beasts! After greatly vomiting over all that, Stan was going to run back down the hill, but as he turned around he saw three of the same nude vandals who seemingly stripped him down coming up this way! Stan was basically trapped until he hears something up in the sky, and so did all the feral humans. It's the sound of a helicopter, not one but two flying this way. Stan sees this as an opportunity to call out for help. It turned out to be a military helicopters flying above the trees where the other animalistic humans were, the ones on ground were startled when the rotorcrafts' sound became louder as it flew closer, they stomped all around the clearing leaving Stan to try and get a signal from the pilots. He went up to a boulder and cried "HEY! Up here! Help!" He kept waving his arms to get their attention but the mindless humans started copying his movements, jumping and waving their arms up and down ruining his distress signal. On the other hand the helicopters didn't see Stan's signal and flew passed him heading down the north eastern side which means the pilots and crews on those helicopters were going after the spacecraft that landed in the big duck pond. Stan gets very aggravated with these people tries telling them to stop, but that same savage alpha male rises up to Stan next to the boulder he's standing on and tensely looks at him like a threat. Stan timidly trembles when the man with his mouth covered in blood gets closer to him and smells him; he then takes Stan's hat off and tries to smell it until Stan then starts to sneeze. Stan accidentally sneezes at the wild man's face which caused him to back off, grunt, stomp again, and drop the hat while Stan whipped his nose with his arm. It gets tossed to the ground where the others tried to take it and fight over it like cats and dogs, but Stan's had enough of this, he controls the pain of his right foot and jumps off the boulder and tackles on the crowd to get his hat back. He keeps on pushing the big adults away but a few juvenile humans carry it away and Stan rushes through the incoming dog pile and tackles the two naked boys, Stan manages to snatch the hat away from their mouths after doing some dog like tug a war. "Nobody touches this hat, got it!" shouted Stan after pushing the two feral kids away and got them to flinch for a second. But after that, the whole group became more agitated with Stan's defense and began to pounce on him and pound him to death, and perhaps mess him up the same way that happen to that one child from earlier! Stan had to make another run for it while holding on to his hat; he had to run all around the clearing to avoid each of them from wanting to kill him. He trips over the horribly deceased child carcass and nearly gets pulled away by one of the wild men who grabbed him at his half torn undies, Stan kept on struggling to get loose, then " _ **TTCCCHHH**_ " they're completely torn off. Stan continued his running as most of these guys chased him all the way through this field and straight into the other jungle area down in the same south-western direction, next they stopped and kept on throwing little chunks of dirt from the ground at him, one of them flung their own feces at him.

Stan finally got away and is now bare-naked, no clothes or anything to cover his private part except for his even more torn winter hat that could barely cover his head. "Oh where the hell am I?" frustrated Stan, he couldn't go all the way back to his spacecraft and find help if that's where he believed the helicopters were doing, no thanks to those unknown bare naked natives he encountered, he also couldn't understand what kind of jungle tribe has scruffy naked people with tannish skin, black and brown overgrown hair, and are extremely animalistic. His guess was this had to be some sort of island where they might have been marooned and deeply lost their sanity. But luck has it when Stan finds another clearing nearby; this time it appears to be a road, a six feet wide dirt road with two paths leading up to some place either left or right!

Stan didn't know which way to take, but judging by where the helicopters flew from, he decided to take the left path, not knowing how long the trail would take or what would be up ahead. So Stan kept walking, and walking, and walking through this trail that looked like it was heading to a far off mountain while the sun was moving fast through the cloudy sky, he found nothing coming, no cars driving by, no sign to direct where he's at, no town spotted yet, the road just kept going and going until Stan had to rest his bruised feet after walking for almost four and a half hours. " _Hhh-HHhhh_... Stupid jungle, how the hell did I get sucked into this, all because I couldn't... _ehuh_! ...Sometimes I wish I was never human, definitely not like... whoever those naked cannibalistic sickos were." His stomach kept on growling because he had nothing to eat throughout this trip. Just then, while kneeling in the middle of the dirt road, Stan hears a vehicle coming from behind him; it drove so fast he had to strongly get back up on his sore feet and sprang out of the forest side of the road on the left. The vehicle's a blue pickup truck carrying loads of palm fruit and nuts in the back. Stan sees it drive away, now that he knows there are other civilized people around here and possibly a town not too far, he tried to run after it " _WAIT_!" cried Stan calling out for the driver. The truck drove so fast and so far Stan couldn't ketchup to it. " _Aw God-dammit_!" he groused, there was no way he could get to any town or city quick enough before the sun starts to set and gets dark. He walks over to the forest side of the road on the right to take a piss at one of the trees, then suddenly, about 10 feet away Stan hears something growling after he finished using the outdoor restroom. It was coming from one of the shrubs, out came a leopard! "Shit! This just not my day!" stressed Stan, the leopard was going to charge at his new meal. Stan couldn't think of a way to avoid a bigger predator like that except instead of running over to the other jungle side, he climbs up to a tree (which I'm pretty freakin sure the leopard won't be able to climb up there)! Stan foolishly climbs up the branches of a jackalberry-like-tree that's next to the road, and so does the leopard " _of course_ ", and nearly catches him with its claws after a big scratch to the ankle when Stan kicked it back by the snout. But right when Stan reaches the end of a big long branch on top with an injured left foot, another palm fruit and nut carrying pickup truck came driving this way. The leopard climbs to the same branch to get his early dinner, waiting for him to choose his fate, climb back over to the big hungry cat and get mauled or fall off the high tree and hit the ground below where the leopard will get him either way. Stan then hears and sees another pickup truck coming this way. Because he's way up above the right spot where the truck's just about to drive passed… Stan quickly lets go the branch and lands down to the vast palm load and safely boards the back of the truck, driven away from the Leopard without the unknown driver noticing the stowaway.

Stan manage to hitch a ride while partly knocked out in the process, after all that walking and running he could finally get to a public place where he'll get to find out where he's at and how he's going to get back home, right after he gets something to eat or drink first. Little does Stan know, he's not in any of those regions, and nor is he on the same crummy planet Earth.

The second pickup truck drove all the way out of the rainforest up to a nearby town, from the looks of daylight it was probably about 6pm in the afternoon (soon to be dusk afterwards). Stan wakes up and could hardly move after that rough landing, but he tried sitting up to relax his left foot the leopard scraped and see where they're heading. Stan apparently felt very uncomfortable sitting and laying on top of all this palm oil load that he accidentally moved some of the palm fruit bundles over causing some of them to tumble off the truck and hit the road which alerted the driver. The truck stopped right in front of a big hill that had a drive-through tunnel leading to somewhere, Stan knew he was going to be serious trouble for this and tried climbing out by the right wooden stake sides of the truck, "... _ **What's going on back there**_..." uttered the out coming truck driver in a strange raspy voice. Suddenly what Stan didn't notice until now is that the misshapen figure came out of the right front seat where the naked human boy with only his winter hat turns around and takes a good look at him after climbing out of the truck. The stranger's an ape! A massive towering adult male orangutan wearing human clothes from top to bottom and can speak too! " **What the**... _**hey**_ **get away from my palm oil truck you thieving little homo-stowaway**! **Beat it**!" he shouted, Stan was surprised and tries running with his limping foot when he comes charging after him! The palm oil delivering monkey chases Stan over to the right curb where he tumbled into the bushes right when the orangutan picked up one of the palm bundles that fell in the road and angrily tossed it over, " _ **You better run**_!" he said. Stan didn't say any word because of this shock, "... _Dude_ , _what the hell_...? First naked people who behave like wild animals, and now... orangutan in clothes driving a truck loaded with... _wait_..." _until now that is_. After the truck left, Stan rushed out of the bushes and back into the road to check out that hill tunnel and see where it leads to, he wasn't so sure about this, but just when he gets a closer view of the mountain that turns out to be a few odd shaped skyscrapers far beyond this railway hill there had to be a city or town for him to get to, _plus it's better to head there then to get eaten by leopards around here_.

He went in, and on the bright side this was just a short tunnel as Stan manage to come out to other side. Stan finally made it to a town just about half a mile down the road over a bridge, where he something peculiar from where he's standing. This town had an uncanny appearance, it looked almost like an ancient Indian city due to it's architecture and monastery, except there are people ... _or somethings_... running the place, and the sign next to the solid concrete bridge had two pointed directions with one pointing to the place saying: Sokwee, half mile down, and the other pointing to the tunnel where he came out from: Congo Forest, two miles ahead. With a name like Congo this would have to be Africa much to Stan's thought of orangutans not living in Africa; speaking of which, there's a massive statue that could be seen above the town, but Stan couldn't see that far. While following the brown dirt road, after passing the solid bridge he first approaches a 10 feet wide alleyway street in between the back view of two big buildings. Stan didn't know what he was going to run into next, but down by the other end of this path is another road, a regular public street road with other everyday cars driving by. " _Okay get a grip Stan_..." he said to himself in his head " _whatever happened back there I'm sure that might have been another one of them incoherent one-offs like at our town_... ...GOD I hope so because to me there's something very weird going on around here... but there's no turning back now." Stan strolled down through the alleyway without anyone looking through their windows or coming out the side doors. He eventually reaches the end of the alley but still needed think about how he's going to find help without being seen in public while the sun wasn't setting yet. Outside the alley is some arabic looking town square where Stan lastly receives a more shocking reveal aside from a talking orangutan wearing clothes and riding a truck like a man... Stan saw two chimpanzees walking by a water fountain, also wearing human clothes! These weren't just any clothes, they were modern clothes exactly like Stan's kind wears, including one gorilla on a bike who's about to ride by the alley down the street's sidewalk. Stan immediately hides " _where else_ " behind a dirty old dumpster standing on the right side of the alley before he could be spotted as he carefully peaked at the left side view of the town square and saw another chimp in full clothes walking passed the alley with a little dog on a leash (white maltese) and carried a white purse, a female chimp by the look of her dress and hat, she was in a beautifully green outdoor dress with a light green floppy sun hat on her head and around her neck wearing a cleaned fashioned pearl necklace! The chimp wore shoes like the orangutan truck driver and others Stan saw so far, their shoes looked more like gloves due to their prehensile feet. The dog smelled something, Stan turned his head back over to the corner shade of the dumpster where the dog noticed him and started barking at the dumpster, "Snowflake _come on_!" the female chimp commanded her dog "Quit barking at the dumpster, there's nothing there but foul garbage! Let's go." She immediately pulled her dog away and continued their walk up to the next block. Stan was strucked by this shocking discovery and muttered "... _Dude_ , _what the fuck_ , it's a whole city of _monkeys_ , great apes!" it all adds up on why those white tannish humans were bare naked, smelled so horrible, and acted like tree climbing monkeys, because Stan Marsh now realizes this isn't Earth, it's some kind of planet that's almost like Earth but with a switched around civilization where humans are wild fowl jungle animals and apes are well-mannered civilized towns people.

Meanwhile out in Sokwee itself, the other evolved human who landed here months ago, Butters Stotch now addressed by his first name _Leopold_ was just about a mile away from where Stan's hiding, he's seen at the far side of the square walking with Cornelius up to the Sokwee Cinema Theater while still holding hands, he appeared to had gotten over the loss of Kenny and is now enjoying his new life with his new family and friends even if they're apes and not humans. It just so happens that he's a lot happier here than on Earth where he was treated like more of an outcast. The two went into the movie theater to see The Unstoppable Silverback (Soror's ironic version of _The Incredible Hulk_ ), Leopold's been having another great day so far until ten minutes later...

Cutting back to Stan who was still sitting and hiding behind the dumpster not knowing what to do except go back where he came and tried to make the ship fly him off the planet, "Oh screw that! I'm not going back there, it'll be night time by then, enough for me to become a target for more predators." Stan refused. Then up in the sky flying over the alleyway came Stan's spacecraft being carried away by the two helicopters that flew into the jungle hours ago, a lot ape citizens see it flying above the city all the way over to what could be their military base way past town square. Stan got up and saw it knowing that the ape military governor could be after him; suddenly... "Hey look, there's a little human down there!" indicated a town chimp from up in the open fourth floor bedroom window of an apartment (the building on the right side of the alley) Stan jumps to surprise and is now caught! He sees the ape which causes him to walk back from the dumpster, then another ape shows up from out the sideview door of the left building next to Stan to take out the trash because the he's working in a restaurant judging by his white uniform and drops the big trash bag when he sees the human in front of him! " _ **Human**_!" the gorilla shrieked causing Stan to back away again, this time he ends up showing himself out in ape public and dumps into a gorilla child with a double ice-cream cone, pushing him out of the way which caused the young ape to drop the ice-cream scoops to his face as his mother crouched down cradling him for protection. Stan runs into the street nearly getting hit by a car, where the rest of the ape citizens see him! Each of them stop while beeping their horns and no doubt become surprised to see a young human in the road, this alerts the police and some animal enforcement who were on their way to catch him! Stan kept running through town square passing other apes who moved away in fear because of a wild human on the loose.

While that's going on, Leopold remained seated watching one of apes' the motion pictures on the big screen, "...Thanks for taking me here to see this Cornelius..." Leopold whispered to him as he replied, "Oh I don't think there's any need for that good lad, you are welcome to come and enjoy our community anytime you want to, you are that special here." " _Yeah_ , special." the boy muttered. Just then as Leopold sees the unstoppable silverback in front of his eyes, he starts to see a flashed glimpse of the incredible hulk the same character he knows from his planet, after three seconds his vision goes blury and fades back into the unstoppable silverback on screen which made him ask Cornelius if he could to be excused and use the restroom for a second, and Cornelius didn't mind one bit, so they went out to the restroom that looked just like the same theater restrooms from his planet but as he went in and used the stall rooms with Cornelius waiting for him out in the hall Leopold eventually used the sink to wash his hands and face where he gets another flashed glimpse, he hears someone call his name " _ **Hey Butters**_!" from behind and it was Token one of his old human classmates from Earth he sees in the mirror! But right when he turns around, it was just another false vision as it turned out be Bombo one of his ape friends alongside Lucy who was glad to see him again, he came to the movies with his Mom to watch one Soror's version of Star Wars called Star Wars: The New Jedi (a film the Leopold had watched). Leopold rubbed his eyes and looked at the mirror one last time, "What's the matter?" "...Someone called me Butters?" "Butter... did I say that? I'm sorry, I forgot you don't like being called that ri-" "No no no it's fine, it's... it's fine." "You okay Leopold?" "I think so." Cornelius opens the door to check on Leopold if he's alright in there, once again Leopold starts to see another image, this one being of his Dad from Earth at the doorway quoting " _Butters are you done in there_?" "...Dad?!" he muttered, but Leopold blinked his eyes twice and it switches back to Cornelius standing at the exact same position. Leopold gets a little nervous and rushed out the restroom leaving Bombo and Cornelius a bit concerned. Cornelius sees him trembling and comes to his attention, "Leopold what happened, anything wrong?" he questioned, "Oh Cornelius I don't think I feel so good, I keep getting all these hallucinations of my old friends from back on Earth and stuff, almost like I'm home sick or something." the nervous little Butters replied, but Cornelius understood his loss and frustration, "Well Perhaps we should return home then?" "Yeah, good suggestion, _home_..." Cornelius scratched the back of his neck for a quick second over Leopold's last reply, then he patted the boy's head with a smile and told him Zira will make a nice soothing four layer vanilla cake filled with fresh berries for him when they get back. Butters tried chinning up and complemented " _Auh_ _why not_." So they both walked to the exit together while still holding hands _**etc etc**_ , Cornelius felt his trembling hand and tells him otherwise, "How about this, the moment we get back to the house you can relax in bed and watch whatever's on television." "...I think I'll go for the vanilla cake if that's alright." "Splendid choice." as they made it to the exit they heard a loud whistles and sirens going off, coming from outside. Something serious was happening.

Stan continued on running through town passing street islands filed with cypress trees, an ape mime who ran out of the way, and more cars stopping as he went up to the left corner street of the square leading him to the more of Sokwee on Langur Road where he got on the sidewalk fastly walking by a couple small unknown buildings, street lights, and another frightened chimpanzee in a casual spring jacket and trousers while their law was hot on his trail by the sound of their alarms going off everywhere, Stan could had no place to hide and could barely run in his condition after a few bruises he had to take. There were many palm trees at each side down the street like he was back in the jungle. But something else caught Stan's eye, there was a _50's_ McDonalds building up ahead, the apes have their own McDonald's looking just the same as the one in his town, except this one looked more like the 50's building, he stopped running for a second and looked at a few more convenience store buildings that were about the same, there's even a Dollar Tree, except it's run by apes instead of humans, " _What the hell?_!" surprised Stan, realizing this whole planet full of apes is taking place in the modern world. Most of this planet looks just like Earth outside of some changes involving _the monkey-bar street crossings on every block_. Stan then hears police sirens, that means the law enforcers are coming down the road from behind! While trying to get away, a bunch of ape citizens from behind the windows of every store, restaurant, and apartment building and hanging up on the metal bars gazed at Stan walking by and shot some camera photos of him.

Cornelius came out with Leopold to see what the matter was; he asked these two gorilla officers what's going on while Leopold waited in the car. The gorilla chief of the police force known as Chief Marcus approaches them telling Cornelius something he didn't want to say in front of the famous talking human child, he whispers it to him that a young human child was found from an alley and ran through the town square, he also states that it was carrying something with him which made them wonder if this could be the work of what the military found in the Congo National Forest. Cornelius was silent to hear all that, but as new head of the of animal research institute he had to intervene with this situation.

Stan couldn't walk any further; he reached the middle end of a T intersection where he finds a huge ape statue on top a big hill. At the corner end Stan stopped to catch his breath, there weren't that much business buildings around this spot there were no cars coming, and no other apes were walking about or saw him, unless these two dark skin-colored chimps with pink lips sitting up on the hill (who are clearly hippies due to their clothes) count, " _Alright, go little man_ , _run free_!" one of them praised. The police cruisers and motorbikes got closer and so did the animal control van coming from the right lane! Stan tried moving his sore feet for one more run and take the left lane, but more ape enforcers were driving down there. They basically had him surrounded, it looked like Stan had no choice... but to rush over to this one secluded building on the right block that resembles a stone-made cathedral except instead of a cross there's a cupola on top of a blank onion dome as he accidently dropped his hat on the sidewalk while fleeing when the large gorillas came out of the two cars and now has no time to get it. The van parked next to the church on the right lane and one of the two human catching chimps tried tossing a big net over the short wall fence to trap Stan, luckily he manage to dodge the net as he approached the porch, "Use the tranquilizers!" cried the second human catcher in the van. Stan needed to act fast, he knocked and banged the door so hard it surprised the ape cops, the in-keeper answered it before the human catcher was about to fire, " _What is going on out here_!?" disturbed a chimpanzee priest in glasses and a green thawb after opening the right door right when the bells up in the tower rang. This ruins the human catcher's aim and shot the priest ape by mistake giving Stan a chance to storm in after the priest's knocked out, therefore causing the police to take action! Stan ran into the main hall where it looked _almost_ like the inside of a church with all the benches, pillars, and the music organs but the altar was different, there was just a tall brass statue of an orangutan in robe holding a book. Stan didn't had time to observe, he sees a terrified priest ape at the right side of the hall running back to into this stairway entrance leading up to the bell tower where the outdoor. Both the law enforcers and animal control ran in to find the little juvenile, they used their trained shepards to sniff him out, the scent head them to the spiral stairway hall Stan just took. After walking 160 concrete hard steps Stan reaches the tower a where he could barely move his legs after all that running, but that didn't stop the priest as he tries to defend himself with a broom "Get away! Get, shoo, shoo, off with you, beast!" He hollered while swinging and thrusting his broom at Stan. "Beast!? have you looked in a mirror lately you crazy monkey!" Stan shouted after grabbing the broom with both hands and pulled it away from the old ape causing him to faint by this shock.

As soon as it became dusk at the start of sun-set, Cornelius and Chief Marcus arrived at the scene where one of his forcers handed him the evidence the human was carrying, a big torn up blue red winter hat. Cornelius examines the hat and found pinches of black hair which wasn't the black hair of a gorilla nor chimpanzee after smelling it, something was a little off. "Cornelius." stuttered Leopold after walking out of the car. "Leopold, I told you to wait in the car." "Yeah I know b-but I hope you don't get angry when I dropped my milkshake in the front seat." "No, that's alright, I'll clean it up." Leopold then sees the torn hat in Cornelius's hand " _or paw or whatever_ " and recognizes it. "Hey wait a minute, Cornelius... where... wh-where do you get that?" "Oh... uh..." "That hat looks almost like... ... ... _No way_!" Cornelius was very nervous not knowing how to tell him this because he couldn't prove whether this is true or not, but seeing how Leopald is the only ape evolved human on their planet, he couldn't keep hiding it from such an innocent boy like him this time, he slowly shows him the red-blue puffball hat that was held by a young human the police apes are still chasing up in the tower, "...It can't be! Cornelius, in all respects of ape society, please let me help you with this situation!"

The loud bells eventually stopped ringing, Stan crawls by his hands and knees, and takes a closer look at the out cold ape priest. He seemed very human like by his mannerism, for a chimp he sure smelled a little cleaner than any animal Stan touched on Earth; this old ape smelled a lot like Stan's Earthling Grandpa, "What the hell are you?" he muttered. He then hears police dogs barking with the police and animal control coming up the stairs! Stan was now trapped, there's no way he could escape out the arched loophole windows otherwise he might get gunned down the apes or fall off the roof. Just then, a loud bull horn was heard from outside, "Stan! Stan! I-Is that you up there!?" Stan heard someone call out his name, "If... if it's really you, th-then you show your face out the window! Or balcony. _Hurry_!" Stan also recognizes that voice. He tries getting back on his feet even if they hurt like hell, he peaked his head through the big front balcony arch for a quick second next to a pillar and looked down at all the apes below. The apes weren't pointing their guns up, instead they brought out a big life net to catch him. He then spotted someone being held up by an adult male chimp holding a megaphone. He was no ape, Stan was stunned. "... ...Butters? Butters!?" he cried and carefully climbed up to the stone ledge and sat down at the left pillar outside the tower while calling out Leopald's nickname and waving his right arm a few times, "It is Stan! He's calling out Butters!" he too cried. " **Wait a minute** , **he can speak**. **Another talking human**?!" shocked Marcus, "That's impossible." shocked Cornelius. The enforcement abruptly made it to the top and found the hurt priest! Stan tries to quickly dodge again, but ends up getting shot in the ass with a tranquilizer dart from one of the infantry human catchers! He agonizes in pain after pulling the dart out and staggers on the ledge ready to fall off but hangs on to the pillar, "Stan hang on!" Leopold cried. Chief Marcus orders his troops to stand down, but the shepherds charged to the balcony while barking! Now he became completely exhausted and didn't had enough strength to hold on... Stan Marsh released his hands from the pillar, stumbles off the ledge, tumbling over the roof and falls off the orthodox building! _Five stories below_! "... _B_ - _Butters_! ... _ **butters**_..." he muttered with his last breath after landing...

But then, ten hours later... Stan woke up alive and well! It seemed that it all was just a nightmare but he was not in his bedroom, he was a different and unusual looking bedroom, he's lying in a bed with two bandaged legs, a wet warm towel on his forehead, and a transdermal-patch placed on his left butt cheek. He appears to be wearing some clothes; he was only wearing a pair of swimming trunks. He also felt like he just took a shower ten minutes ago. However, Stan sees a 90s made TV with stand set in the corner of the bedroom, a clean wooden dresser standing at the left wall, and on the right wall is some yellow wooden toy box and a big drape covered window. That's not all he sees, there was a nightstand next to the bed that had a small desk lamp with the neck and yellow shade facing straight up like a tulip, and a little picture frame decorated with foam cut out starfish, birds, and a frog on each angle. Stan looks at the picture and sees the image of Butters with what looks to be a young child like chimpanzee in clothes! Suddenly the bedroom door opened, Stan realizing this isn't a dream was trembling in panic to see if it's one of those menacing apes again until it turned out to be the other human Earthling, Butters or... _Leopold_ who came in to check on poor Stan and is relief to see him finally awake and okay, "Butters!?" "Oh Stan you're alright! I thought you'd be, thank lawgiver them policeapes and their big life net caught you on time otherwise you would have been human pizza by now!" "Wha... _Auh my head_..." "Oh I'd say you oughta relax, you've been out cold for merely ten hours from that tranquilizer dart." "T-Tranquilizer!?" "Uh-huh, luckily Zira and Cornelius took you in and examined you; they said you're about as healthier as I am, _gee_ imagine that." "... ... ...Butters, what's going on? Are we not on Earth anymore!? What are you wearing?" "Oh these are just my new pjs Zira bought for me a while back." " _Zira_ , who's Zira? ...What's happened, why am I in-!" " _Ssshh_ - _sshh_ - _sh_ - _sh_... ...hold on a second..." "Wait Butters!" Leopold rushed out the bedroom for a quick second with the door half shut while Stan could hear him talking with _someone_ (Cornelius and Zira) to let them know Stan has awaken but also wants them to just let him talk to Stan for a few minutes so he could understand where he is, they allowed him to take any time he wants with him alone, so Leopold thanked them for that, then comes back in with the door shut, and hands Stan a plate of four fresh baked chocolate-chip cookies and a cup of milk which he scarfed it all down. "Boy, you must have been really hungry during your trip." "... _ **Euaghe**_... _hhh_... Yeah well... kinda hard when you have to fend for yourself out in the jungle all barefooted with no food or shelter, or clothes on." " _Yeah_ I hear ya." Stan became surprised " _again_ " as these cookies he ate tasted very good, unlike any other treats he had in his life on Earth! So it was just the two of them, alone, Leopold asked Stan what he wants to know, "I'll tell you what I need to know, just what the living hell is this place? _Seriously_ it's like I'm on a, a..." "A planet were apes evolve from man?" "...Yeah, pretty much that." "In a word." "... ... ... _What_?" "Listen Stan this isn't Earth okay this is called Soror, it's a planet that may look like Earth but it's a... a little switched around." "I'll say! These monkeys have their own 7-eleven, their own-" "McDonald's, Dollar Tree, Walgreen's, and Kmart, all of that." "Kmart?!" " _Mmhhmm_." "That one store that closed down on our planet because of Wal-" " _Yup_ , come to think of it, Walmart doesn't exist on this planet, not to mention they have their own video stores like the one and only Blockbuster Video and no internet movie websites like Netflix, and their rental tapes are much cheaper here." "... _Dude_ , seriously?" "I know, this planet is taking place somewhere around the 90's, except this is actually the year 1986." Stan remained silent while one of his long lost school mates tells him his whole backstory.

Leopold had been stranded for six and a half months ever since he crash landed on this planet, it was only him, Kenny, Timmy, and some other kid named Hector who both arrived here. Sadly Timmy died during the crash when the ship hit a lake and sank down, and it was now just Butters, Kenny, and Hector left to survive. Like Stan, they too thought they were back on Earth and landed in the middle of an African jungle, only to find out that there were bare naked humans acting more savage than any other jungle native from Earth and the real masters who came hunting for them were monkeys, great apes to be precise and these beings turned out to be more human like than they're, they stoop up right, know how to use machines like guns and drive cars, and wore clothes like Earth people except the shoes and boots they wore were big soled gloves. Hector was killed during the hunt but Kenny and Butters were taken alive and separated from each other. These particular apes were a band of poaching gorillas who hunted the humans for sport and money, capturing and selling the young ones at a market which happens to be illegal much like on their planet when some humans did the same on animals. Butters manage to escape this massacre at a river but was knocked out by a waterfall and got captured anyway by more gorillas, except these gorillas were different from the poachers, they took him up to Sokwee, a whole town full of earth-human mannered apes like them and that wasn't the only city, there were other ape regions out there besides Sokwee, in almost every country, from african to asian. Butters had been imprisoned in a zoo believed to be just as average as the humans on this planet until he showed some ape behavior surprising only a few workers and scientists, one pompous orangutan scientist by the name of Dr. Zaius who was the head of animal research denied his intriguing knowledge and intended to dissect him or put him down if it hadn't been for two carefree chimpanzee scientist couple named Cornelius and Zira who loved his unique intelligence and helped free the poor little innocent child from animal captivity as he proved to the whole ape council how civilized and reliable he was. After making a touching speech about the loss of his friends and family in a space crash the apes thereby granted him his release and gave him a chance to fit into ape society, every news was spreading throughout every country in Soror, Butters now being called by his first name Leopold became a celebrity and star, a hero in all of Sokwee. Because of this amazing case, Cornelius was now the scientific head of the institute. Dr. Zaius had been dismissed and given another post, a new decoration Zira's fiance installed in his place. This resulted in a reorganization of the personnel, a general promotion of the chimpanzee element, and renewed activity in every department. Zira had become the new director's assistant. it was a great day for Leopold "Butters" Stotch to shine "Wait, _wait_ , hold on a minute! ...You are a celebrity now!?" "... _Well yeah_ , here on Soror I am." Stan didn't believe it at first, but Leopold pulled out the picture of him on the cover of an ape magazine from the drawer of his night stand including a T-shirt of him titled _**LEOPOLD THE GREAT APE-MAN OF SOROR**_ and showed it to Stan as proof on how famous he became. Stan looked over the magazine, and his response was "... _Dude_ , no fucking way." "I know, I gained so much fame here, I heard Virgil _the best known ape musician_ is writing a song about me." Leopold replied. Stan remained silent and lets him continue with the rest.

During his time on Soror ( _with some quick flashbacks_ ), Leopold was free to walk about the streets, finally allowed to go into their stores, restaurants, movie theaters and sport game tournaments like baseball, football, hockey, and basketball! In fact their tournaments were set in a massive looking building that closely resembled a colosseum except there's more than one that comes in different shapes and sizes for each sport game! He could do whatever he wants in public as long as he stayed true to his ape behavior. Because he had nowhere to go, the two kind chimps Zira and Cornelius who were charmed by his personality and good nature manage to get Leopold placed in their custody, becoming his new guardian. They gave him new clothes that fit his size and weight, and his new bedroom " _which happens to be the same bedroom Stan's in at the moment_ ". He always kept holding hands with them whenever he's out in the town since he's new to their world. Cornelius sometime took him to their museums and churches where he learned more about the apes' culture over the last six months. They seem to have their own religion, and pray to their own GOD; centuries ago after the extinction of dinosaurs there came a new time of other living animals aside from giant elks, mammoths, and saber-tooth cats, Leopold didn't know how to explain it but from what he heard at the Sokwee Historic Museum apes evolved from man in their image. Leopold has mostly been sharing a good bond with Zira, she always took him out to see a movie in theaters during this time period such as Disney's A Bug's Life and The Iron Giant "that had every human character portrayed as ape counterparts in this universe", getting him to know other apes besides Lucy and Bombo, she even tried putting him up for an education at one of their schools, the government was willing to let him take some classes as long as the staff kept a close watch on him every time while she and Cornelius are at work. Zira had been taking good care of Leopold since they met, he fed him good food, attends him whenever he hurts himself, she gives him a bath, dresses him for the day and for the night, she even tucks him into bed and reads him a book before he went to sleep every night, and always checks on him "like a mature adult", and above all, when Leopold does make mistakes in the kitchen and living room like when he once broke one of their bowls by accident while having cereal, the milk and grain got on the table and floor, he said he was sorry... and they forgive him with Cornelius replying accidents happen, he also tried cleaning up after himself and when he didn't put stuff like cups and plates in the right cupboard none of these two adult apes scold him for it, he didn't get grounded for it either, " _hell_ " even when he got his photo taken on picture day he made a tiny mistake with his eyes closed and they just retook it for him! To Leopold's surprise, unlike Steven Stotch and Linda Stotch his human parents from Earth who often punished him for no good reason, Cornelius and Zira who are apes in Soror had become a much more reasonable and supportive family to him than he thought! As for Lucy and Bombo, they're one of Leopold's only closest friends he made, they sometimes play with him at recess "like any regular child" doing tick-tack-toe, spend a few minutes sitting outside together at the park or on the sidewalk street next to the ice-cream shop chatting with each other "at least one of them so to speak", and could occasionally play ball with him in the yard. Leopold could not forget the time when their school did a Peter Pan play, with him playing the main role as Pan and the other kids playing different character roles, while Julius " _the same gorilla child who dumped peanuts on Leopold when he was in captivity_ " got a little jealous because the teacher chose him to be the stage manager and did not go on stage with the rest of his class. Leopold had been cheered a lot not only by the audience but also by his simian classmates, in fact most of them got along quite well with Leopold and were very interested in knowing more about him and what his planet was like. A few young apes from the Sokwee Elementary School besides Bombo and Lucy were invited to a party Zira put up for Leopold since his birthday was last month, on September the 11th; he just turned 10 two weeks ago. Just about everything turned out glorious, wonderful, and special for Leopold Butters Stotch, so special it made him shed a tear to his eye. For once, this truly felt like home to him without all the abuse and bullying he had to take from his previous life, even if it " _again_ " has to be an alternate world full of apes.

He also let's Stan know almost everything on this planet is like theirs except... the food they serve are not all meat, they do not serve hamburgers, hotdogs, sausages, bacon, beef, or steak but they do serve fish, eggs, and _some white meat chicken_ on the other hand, plus they all serve tacos with no ground beef, nothing but plain fresh salad, carrots, onions, and tomatoes mixed with ranch dressing. Stan could understand that most apes are vegetarians (apart from chimps eating meat sometime) back on Earth but never thought these apes on Soror would have a certain type of protein minimum. Another difference is that they only have a couple of countries run on Africa, Asia, and only have a small amount of countries in North and South America, no states or anything. Plus they have the exact same planets in their universe with the exact same names, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Neptune, Venus, Uranus, but the planet Pluto is called Elfin (a term to describe a little person). Stan then looks down for a moment wondering if what Leopold told him was true or not outside of him talking a little better than his usual accent. He asked Leopold how he ended up here, and he told Stan his two ape guardians did, they first had to clean him off and examine him down at the research center where they also considered him to be just as healthy as Leopold, _which comes to no surprise after what Cornelius had witnessed_. He tried getting out of bed but that's where Leopold told Stan he needs to relax his feet after yesterday because in a couple hours he's going to meet one of the highest authorities in the country, the president who is a Gorilla just to let Stan know that, "Oh that's really unique." regarded Stan who attempted to leave the room while walking on both short bandaged legs. But first he needed to peak through the drapes and look out the window, and what he saw outside shocked him again! There are two vehicles parked outside at the sidewalk with gorillas in uniform, it looked like Stan wasn't going anywhere. Leopold saw how nervous Stan looked as he walked up to him and said "It's probably time you met Cornelius and Zira, how about it Stan, they won't hurt you, not like the ones on Earth." he offered to hold on to his hand if he was that nervous, but Stan being somewhat profane decides not to, " _Suit yourself_ ," Leopold said "but one more thing, whatever you do, don't use the word monkey, they find that offensive." "Yeah thanks for the advice." replied Stan with cynicism.

They went out into the hall where it too looked _modern_ - _Indian_ - _like_ , so was the kitchen, and the living room where Stan meets Zira and Cornelius sitting in one of the three separate old fashioned armchairs next to the unlit fireplace waiting for them. Zira was surprised when she sees Leopold with another human next to him that can talk, "Um... Good morning?" said Stan in front of the two chimpanzees, "So it's true!" shocked Zira "...In a whole lifetime devoted to the scientific study of humans, we've only found one other like you who can talk." " _Yup_ that's me, hey Stan why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself while I go take a quick bath and get changed if that's alright with them." Leopold suggest, "Oh _uh_... no trouble at all, I'll be in there in a minute." replied Zira. Leopold rushed to the bathroom before Stan was like " _W_ - _wait Buh_..." Then he looks at the two chimpanzees, who also seemed part human in their eyes, wearing clothes and all that, "What is your name again, _young man_?" asked Cornelius, "...W-who me?(Cornelius nods yes to him)...uh... my name, my name is Stan, Stan Marsh, sir." he replied, "Stan Marsh, is that your full name?" Zira asked, "Yeah, pretty much." The two apes were not dreaming either, for they see another talking human before their very eyes, just who Leopold admitted. Zira stands up right from the couch and gently comes closer to Stan. He starts to tremble but Zira tells him, "Don't be afraid little boy, I never hurt any young animals, or human not to offend you. It's alright." She crouches down and reaches out her hand/paw " _whatever_ " for Stan to greet each other. Stan carefully reaches his hand, and touched hers. _They both shook_. Stan looked up to her face, and by his eyes, she didn't look vicious or menacing like he thought all of them would be, she made a friendly smile to him, "...I'm not on Earth, am I." "Nor could it be a dream either," Zira answered Stan's respond "Oh pardon me but I have to go clean up Leopold and get you both ready for the meeting with the president in a few hours, we need to know where you came from and what happened." Zira went to the bathroom while Cornelius offered Stan a seat in the third armchair Leopold usually sits in next to him so he could tell him everything before their visit with one of the highest authorities of Soror.

Stan didn't know about this but he sat in anyway and by his intrigue... "...Boy this chair feels pretty comfortable." "Well I'm glad to hear of that my boy." Cornelius tells him Butters told them a lot about what Earth was like, including why he was in a spacecraft with his other three friends to begin with, "... _Oh he did_ , _did he_?" "It's alright young one, Leopold had told me much about Earth, even though Zira and I thought of it to be quite unpleasant, but in the name of science I could understand how it's like with your race and ours in different manners. However, we had to keep some events like that a secret and not let the president or any of the grand council find out in order to keep poor Leopold safe." "Yeah am I the only one surprise that he's still alive, especially after all the shit I had to take out there." "... _I beg your pardon_?" "What." "You just... ... _ **h**_ - _ **h**_ - _ **H**_ - _ **H**_ - _ **h**_ - _ **h**_... alright listen, we love Leopold dearly, why if it hadn't been for Zira he'd remain in a cage for the rest of his life with the other young human juveniles, or worst, experimented on by Dr. Zaius-" "Yeah I know, Butters already told me." "...Butters? Oh, _oh_ , _I see_ , that's who you call him by on Earth correct? ...Dear me, are you feeling alright?" Stan felt too stress to talk, but Cornelius then tells him, " _Alright_ , I'll tell what, if you're really that nervous which I probably wouldn't argue with, we'll let your friend do most of the talking for you because both you will visit the president's office, granted you will have to say something in order to-" "He is not my friend." "Who, Leopold or I mean..." "Yeah." Zira comes out through the hall to get Leopold some fresh warm clothes from her laundry basket sitting on their round, wooden, pedestal coffee table standing in the middle of the living room, she lets Stan know they're willing to share one of Leopold's spare Soror clothes after this is over when the council makes their decision, "Hey that reminds me, where's my hat?!" concerned Stan, "Your hat?" asked Cornelius, Stan also utters " _Oh crap_ , I must have dropped it out in the streets, _dammit_!" Zira after hearing that foul language replied "Now what gives you the pleasure to talk like that!?" "... _Huh_?" "You heard me young man, no ape would want to hear anything like that in front of the president or any of the council members if you know what's good for you. Am I clear on that, Stan Marsh?" Stan sees her long arms crossed with a stern look facing down at him, and replied, "... _Y_ - _Yes_ mam." Zira then returns to the hall and gets Leopold changed while Cornelius continued his conversation with Stan. "Now listen, your ship was found and taken by the ape military, they've been looking for you out in the jungle where the other wild humans were." " _Heh_ , I guess that's a good thing I didn't went back there, no thanks to those guys who drove me out." "The only thing that matters now is for you to speak to the president but not yet, just until we reach the mansion, it's not too far from here, keep in mind he and some of his subjects counting myself inquired this after a one phone call, and yes he too knows about the crashed ship, Leopold even spoke to him on the phone about your existence, _and he had to_ , so you'll need to join him there. Remember, just start slowly with simple answers to what will certainly be simple questions." Stan looks down for a second but turns back up facing Cornelius, "Stan?" "...And if the questions become _less simple_?" "... ...Well my dear boy... then just be yourself if you must, it is your choice, just don't know what will happen then." Stan couldn't get what Cornelius meant by that last reply considering he's mostly been around dishonest people in his life (except for maybe Chef _but he's no longer around_ ). Zira returns to the living room with Leopold all cleaned up and is wearing the same Soror clothes he usually wears: red long sleeve shirt with a brown vest over it, and a pair of grey jeans. "Well how do I look Stan, pretty good?" "...Lets just get this over with and quick." replied Stan. "We still need to know why you were in the ship to begin with." Zira confirmed, "Yeah well you guys wouldn't understand! _Okay_!" Stan replied before crossing his arms and pouting in the chair with irritation, "Now, now, we can see how frustrated you are at this, we're trying to help you like we helped set your _frie_... L-Leopold free from captivity." "Cornelius is right Stan, this is a serious matter we need to get settled ... _these apes are not like your usual adults back on Earth_..." Stan finally takes Butters's word; he decides to come clean and tell them the reason why he was in space. Cornelius and Zira were appalled after hearing what Stan had told them, Leopold was also shocked by this as much as he understands how ignorant and vulgar their kind can be since both he and Stan are earthlings. But Cornelius and Zira tried to think of an excuse to make his story sound more convincing to the president while faking it (much like Leopold's story), they aren't so certain that this will work or not like before, but the boys should give it a shot _never_ - _the_ - _less_.

Stan sadly had to be put on a brown leather leash "just for precaution" and not say any word until they approached the President's office; he sat in the back of their vehicle with Leopold. The drove along with the gorilla emissaries leading them up to a large mansion on a big hill near the park. Another twisted reveal to Stan was the mansion itself that looking like close resemblance to one of the United States Capitol buildings except the pillars and walls had more of a _sand_ - _color_ than white, and the big round dome was colored in gold with the same orangutan statue (from inside the church) on top. Cornelius led Stan on the leash with Leopold walking aside him up the stairway porch, then to toward the main entrance where they're greeted by the head butler ape of this residence. This ape in particular looked very strange, unlike any other Stan encountered on this planet, Butters on the other hand seems to notice the appearance while being on Soror for six months and yet he couldn't admit how unusual this simian being was unlike the kind he saw back on Earth. This ape had the face of a baboon, it was no gorilla or chimp, and definately no orangutan, nor was it one of Bombo's type like those two hippies from yesterday, the face and muzzle was vertically long and narrow with wide cheeks, plus the biddy little eyes covered by his spectacles; by the color of his fur and skin, he would have to be a mandrill, but his face wasn't so colorful with the long red nose, yellow beard, or light-blue ridges; the beard is white and the whole face was pitch-black. If that's the case, then could Soror have monkeys after all? Frankly " _NO_ ", this monkey happens to be an ape like the rest of them on Soror " _for some good reason_ ", the only difference is he maybe quite shorter than the chimpanzees but not that short compared to mandrill baboon size, and above all, he has no tail on the back of him, not even a one big round ass in his trousers just a regular flat human shape as he briefly turns to the side, which means he might not be a monkey after all but instead an unfamiliar type of ape! "Good afternoon Dr. Cornelius," he said "the President would like to have a word with the two humans in private if that's alright, it will only be a quarter hour he says." "No trouble at all Maximus." replied Cornelius after lending him Stan's leash. Stan felt very uncomfortable with this, well at least Leopold's still at his side.

So the butler ape takes Stan and Leopold up to the main office in the East Wing where Stan came face to face with the supreme ape leader after a little knock at the door; he lets them both in with Maximus still holding on to the leash. Stan once again became nervous when sees the large gorilla in a suit sitting at his desk with a straight face staring at both him and Leopold. "... **Is this the one you speak of** , **Leopold**?" "Y-Yes Mr. President, sir." " _ **Well then**_ , **first things first..**." The gorilla looks at the other human wearing ape-trunks and asks for one simple question, " _ **What is your name**_?" "Stan, Stan Marsh s-sir." The president became stunned accidentally tipping over his cup of pens and pencils, and so did the butler letting go of the leash. The president once again recovers his composure no doubt intrigued by this new miracle and informs Maximus to remove the collar from Stan's neck; he frees him from the leash and leaves after closing the door. Now it was just the three of em, one ape and two young humans... Stan then held on to Leopold's hand for a moment while this talk continued a little longer.

After one full hour and fifteen minutes, Cornelius gets called in to the office for _his_ private talk with the President. They both had a long talk while the butler Maximus kindly escorted the two boys who were silent Leopold and Stan "without the leash" out and wait in the car with Zira for Cornelius to come out which was going to be another hour in the afternoon. By the time it was 4pm. Cornelius comes out of the mansion and gets back into the car letting Stan know the President will make the decision by the upcoming week. However until that time comes, he has to stay hidden from the public; no other ape besides Cornelius and the enforcers witnessed his intelligence except for that one frightened priest who nearly had a heart-attack when he spoke to him, he did recover and believed he must have been hearing things, probably just in his head. The police just made an excuse that the animal was already captured and sent to the zoo. So Stan will be place under Cornelius and Zira's keep and not show his face outside "at least not like out in the front yard or streets", no one else must know about this, not a simian soul before it's time for the tribunal so that there won't be another panic over another talking human on Soror, otherwise there will be serious consequences for not just Stan's life but Leopold's as well. So Stan Marsh has to _technically_ stay indoors for quite some time, much to his letdown since Leopold gets to go out and enjoy himself in their society.

They eventually return to the house without being seen where Stan felt a little hungry which was the right time for Zira to serve dinner. Stan manage to demonstrate his manners in the kitchen with the two apes "in order to respect their hospitality and survive this planet", Leopold informs him they need to say their blessing for the lord. They put their hands together pray " _We give thanks to the lord who comes in many form for bringing food to the land_ , _bless us holy father who created all simians in his image_ , _help us share your love truth everywhere_ , _amen_ " Stan felt a little skeptical with the simian image part, but now's the time to eat. So the food they served on the table were more vegetarian-like; garlic butter roasted sliced carrots, mash potatoes and gravy, fresh round honey butter bread rolls, and a pile of corn. Not one single meat was on the table, that's when Zira let's Stan know if he wants there is also some fish sandwiches Leopold had saved from Fish Queen's in the fridge with some french fries to heat up, "Fish qua- oh uh... no thanks," he replied "I think I'll try the roasted carrot slices." "Ah, excellent choice Stanley." admired Cornelius, "I don't think he likes meat." uttered Leopold, then Stan mutters "...Well nor do I like to be called _Stanley_!" "Oh dear me I didn't mean to call you by that I just thought, well... Stanley was the full name form for Stan, uh-never mind I'll address you by your proper name from on, you have my word _Stan_." regretted Cornelius. Stan forgives him and didn't mind being called Stanley, saying it wasn't like Leopold might have told him that " _to his displeasure_ ". He tried their food while Zira and Cornelius faced each other for a second concerned about the way Stan's feeling, and once again their food tasted just good as the cookies and milk! Leopold knew he'd like the food on Soror, pleasing Zira and Cornelius's hospitality. Stan wanted to use the restroom if they had one; Zira escorted him to their bathroom that look just as modern as the ones on Earth _except_ their toilet resembles one of them old vintage styled high tank toilets with the chain that pulls down. ...At least he used it, and yes he did wash his hands as Zira asked him to do when he's done.

After dinner it was later time for bed around 9pm. Leopold lets Stan wear one of his ape made clothes starting with the pjs for tonight, this clothing Stan put on felt sort of tight while wearing it but beyond that it fits fine. Zira and Cornelius were thinking of a place for Stan to sleep in the house. Zira asked Leopold if he could let Stan sleep with him on the queen size bed next to each other. Leopold didn't mind, as long as it wasn't going to be Eric Cartman who hated the most back on Earth, Stan didn't find it comfortable sleeping in the sheets next to Butters but what choice did have aside from the living room furniture, except that's where Cornelius sit down by the fireplace and smoke his pipe while Zira sat down by the coffee table reading her book. Stan stated he's okay not to be picked up by Zira and instead climbed to bed by himself without any help. Zira offered to read them a bedtime story; Stan said he was okay and decided to turn around on the left side of the bed and sleep while she read the story to Leopold instead. So Stan laid down and rest. But before he went to sleep Stan should have notices this quick, he humbly asked Zira about what happened to one of his closest friends Kenny McCormick since Leopold said he's still alive out there. Zira had to stop and think about that; it's hard for Leopold to explain to Stan about Kenny, but Zira tells him "Kenny... is still around and good health too, it's best that we let you know where he is after we get things settled with the grand council in almost a month, if that's alright?" "...Yeah I guess. Along as _Kenny's_ alright than fine. I need to take another long nap." Stan said. Leopold then told him good-night after Stan covered himself and shut his eyes, hoping to get an okay dream of being back on Earth.

Meanwhile, about ten miles away from Sokwee near a volcano lies an army research establishment where the big round shuttle stage Stan was in was being examined by other scientists for the military to learn about this extraterrestrial. One of the observers in the lab was a large shrewd and malicious ape in official militaristic uniform with lots of badges and medals made of silver and gold placed on the left side of his coat while wearing a one shoulder half-cape on the right side, and carrying a swagger stick; he's the head of the ape army, _**General Field Marshal, Urus**_ "or _Urus_ for short" who had an unusual simian appearance: his race is to either be some type of gorilla or chimpanzee " _or possibly_... a mixed hybrid"! The general was feeling quite disapproved that his scouts had not found the creature who rode the flying object but one of his reporters from the police force confirmed him about a young wild human child spotted in town who can also talk. He could have been able to get answers for the safety of Soror (much like how he wanted to do the same with Leopold) if Dr. Cornelius and his head-strong wife had not interfered with these projects for the last time. " **Well no matter**!" the general groaned " **these** _ **civilized**_ _ **human infants**_ **will soon be disposed of in time**. **For me** , **the only good human**... **is a dead human**."

Things were going so easy for the two remaining Earthlings; there is an ape officer of high rank who heavily despise humans, finding them to be nothing but mindless animals that are better off permanently extinct. Hopefully these events won't become a bad sign in the future for Soror now that there's another talking human from Earth. Stan Marsh had a lot more to learn from this planet than he thought.


	6. EPVI TWO WORLDS, ONE FAMILY

Episode VI: TWO WORLDS, ONE FAMILY

It's been about a weeks; by far nobody else in Sokwee had witness the second talking human on Soror and the two chimpanzee scientists, Cornelius and Zira, had not been keeping him occupied since it's what the ape president suggested until it's time for him alongside the grand council to reach the decision on whether Stan Marsh should be accepted in their society with the other human Leopold Butters Stotch who also carries great ape knowledge. As for Stan, he kept brooding in Leopold's bedroom once in a while, because of all humiliation he had to take on this planet. Because of every work day, Zira took Stan to the research center where he had to be naked in order to camouflage him, not to be seen with clothes on like the rest of the feral humans, which Stan found deeply degrading. They kept on convincing him every day that they were just trying not to let him out of their sight, so in the process, he had to be kept in a cage too. They used the biggest cage with lots of space in the lab (the same cage Butters was in), he had to be kept in the animal ward while they're at work, from 7pm to 4pm. with order sheets given to the staffs and guards by the president himself to not question or argue with any of these decisions. He sometimes had to be in a _not so big_ cage since they knew he wouldn't get along with the two transported cellmates. Zira however didn't have to work every day, all she did was take care of important things at the institute which were looking over the young human juveniles from the zoo, so there came a day when she stayed at the house with Stan.

It's now Tuesday in the afternoon, Leopold came back from his simian school to tell Stan about a project he did; he sees him in the back yard (looking a little more bigger than their average neighborhood yard on Earth) sitting on stone bench around a beautiful looking raised flower bed full of freshly watered tulips and hibiscuses while wearing the same black swimming trunks. "Hey Stan, guess what, Lucy and I finished working on the volcano project and showed it to the class." " _Oh goodie_ , you must have gotten an A didn't you." "Yeah, granted Bubbles and Jonah got a first place ribbon on their project while we came in third but-" "Yeah well I don't give a shit, okay?" "I beg your pardon?" "You keep telling me every afternoon about how good your new life is like with all these monkeys or apes _whatever_ treating you with good care and respect, so keep all your gay statements to yourself!" "(Leopold turns slightly upset at Stan's negativity)Well at least I have a new life unlike on Earth where you all _except for maybe Kenny_ treated me like I was nothing but a punching bag, you sure have a funny way of showing gratitude Stan!" " _Okay_ thank you Butters or _Leopold_ for keeping me safe in a cold cage stripped naked every time I go out to that research lab with one of your chimp friends every morning." "They're just trying to watch over you while they're at work and while I'm at school, it's only until after the meeting when they gain your trust and let you go free in a few days! You should thank _them_ for helping you Stan." "By putting me in a cage bare naked everyday where I'm treated like a... _uh_ -" " _Outcast_?" "(Stan gets off the bench facing Leopold, both glaring at each other)...I don't need to take any of this crap from you, Mr. _Stan is a kid who thinks the entire planet revolves around him and only cares about his image_ , well you know what Butters, I never asked to get sent all the way up into space just to get more beating and assaulting on this planet!" "Oh _sure_ like I didn't get the same treatment when I arrived here!" " _Aw_ shut up and me alone!" cried Stan after turning back and walked over to a wall at the end of the yard, " _Aw_ get a life Stan, be thankful you're not gun down by poachers or... _whatever_!" replied Leopold before walking back into the house while Stan started shedding little tears from his closed agonizing eyes with his arms crossed. After their bickering fight, Zira had watched and overheard this quarrel from her slightly opened porch door where Leopold stormed back in through. "Oh scuse me Zira." said Leopold walking by in the kitchen while Stan stood out in the yard with his head on his left arm against the hard stone wall. "Leopold." Zira pardoned him, "Yes Zira?" "(she bends down to him)Now what's with all that fuss going on between you and Stan outback?" "Well, he seems to not appreciate you guys protecting him like you did for me." "I could definitely see what the poor boy's going through." "... _Yeah_ uh well you know something?(he sees Stan out in the big yard sulking, reflecting on another image from before) ... ... _Sheesh_... I guess I feel the same way too. Zira, I have to admit, I felt the same emotions when I had been kept like animal under the control of that mean old Dr. Zaius, until you and good old Cornelius helped prove my innocence to every ape on this planet and made me part of your family." "And we are very lucky to have someone so good and honest like you in our home." "I know but... Zira may I ask you something, I not so sure if you do this one on your or not but don't you guys sometimes leave your kids at home while you're at work or something?" "Leave them at home, alone? Heavens no-" "No no no I mean whenever they're sick or something but you'd have no one to keep an eye for him or her while both you and your husband are at work, most notably... grounded." " _I don't recall_... eh... what do you mean?" "Give them a call to check on them, like any other parent would. Right?" Zira stood silent at first and said "I'm don't think that's a bright idea." "It won't hurt, trust me, Stan is just as responsible and careful as I am, like the time on Earth he worked on a school assignment for parenting with Bebe on caring for an egg.(tiny flashback of Stan Marsh not caring for the egg while he was paired with Bebe Stevens in _ep10 S9_ _Follow that Egg_ )" Zira had to think that over with Cornelius tonight. Just then they heard Stan screeching from the back yard! She sees another one of them garden snakes around slithering up to Stan from the flower bed. Stan gets back, runs from it, and gets behind Zira who showed up with a broom and thrusting at this 5 foot long reptile as it curled up into a ball. Leopold then recognizes the snake, it turns out to be Julius's lost " _nonpoisonous_ " pet ball python named Jacops as he convinced Zira not to hurt this harmless timid snake. The python must have slithered through that big hole crack in the right corner wall not too long ago from the looks of it, "Might as well call out for Cornelius about this, and get that blasted wall corner fixed as soon as possible." uttered Zira. Leopold comes to Stan now seeing him tremble a little, "You alright Stan?" he asked, Stan breathed in and out and replied " _Hhuh_ , I would be if it wasn't for all these damn snake-." "Ah-up language mister!" Zira reminded him which vexed Stan into replying " _Sorry_." "...How about we just go in and have some of them left over chocolate chip cornbread?" Leopold asked "... _hhhh_... _hhhh_... ...Whatever." Stan muttered. Zira looked down at the two human orphans for a second, and in her head she decides to discuss with Cornelius about Leopold's suggestion with Stan, right after they do something about the python returning it to his owner and that small hole in one of the backyard walls.

The next day Cornelius calls out for Stan from Leopold's bedroom in one of his pjs as usual who utters "Yeah, yeah I know, I know, just let me strip myself down and then-." "That's just what I'm trying to tell you lad." "Huh?" "Stan Marsh, Zira and I had talked it over last night about... dear I say... having you stay here while we're gone." "...Really?" " _Oh_ , only if you promise, never answer the door to anyone, always keep the front and back locked and closed, including the windows too. Do you understand?" "Yeah." "Remember always answer the phone when Zira or I call." "Yes sir!" "If you ever get hungry there's some apples, grape, and..." "Left over cornbread?" "Uh yes there's a that and some fish sandwich and french fries from Fish Queens Leopold saved in the fridge for you after yesterday just in case you." "No thanks, I'll just have an apple at some time." "Are you sure, just as long you don't make a mess in the k-" "I won't sir, I promise I won't touch anything in the hall, kitchen, or living room." "You can spend some time in Leopold's bedroom watching television and lay down and relax in bed all day if want," Zira advises "there some snacks I saved on the table for you, two soft oatmeal granola bars and two little bags of fruit rollup." "Cool, but really that's just where I'll be, in the bedroom." "Excellent." Cornelius said. So the two generous apes let Stan stay at their house, Cornelius wasn't so sure about this but his wife was willing to take Leopold's offer because of the ape manners both he and Stan carry. But while they're gone, Stan was all by himself and by far all he did was just take a load off in Leopold's bedroom all day while watching TV. He switched through every channel and most of the shows and movies had apes instead of humans in cities and streets besides cartoons, The X Files, Sex in the City, The Day Soror Stood Still, Gilligan's Island, and even the classic 60's Batman or "Batape as titled" all in ape form! Including the most obvious King Kong where they had a giant ugly, bearded, hairy bodied human carrying a screeching chimpanzee lady in a nightgown around town which really distracted him coming from a planet of men, other than the fact that they don't have their own Terrance and Phillip on any channel, "Dude this kinda sucks." said Stan. The only interest he got out of this was just playing Rough N' Tumble (Soror's version of Ready 2 Rumble Boxing) a fighting game on the nintendo 64 Leopold had, it was quite fun to play a chimpanzee fighting a gorilla on the ring. Cornelius called to check on him from his yellow 80s home phone and he did okay surprisingly, once again Cornelius felt deeply worried leaving the second existing human at their home no telling what will happen if he's discovered by other apes. Stan was getting a little hungry and decided to the fish sandwich Leopold did not touch but saved for him yesterday without anyone looking. "... ... ... ... _Hmmh_ , it's good." he muttered and ate the rest of it, it was like no other shitty food he tasted back on Earth. Afterwards Zira, Leopold, and Cornelius came back and found everything in the house all shipshape like before, Stan laid down relaxing himself in bed like they've expected, it appears Leopold's advice worked, from now Stan will not kept in the research lab every day, but hopefully this will come clean to the council.

Three days had passed, it was now Saturday, October the 14th, the congress was all set to meet the new ape-human in person with Leopold at his side as the President arranged. Stan had to hold on to Leopold's hand whether he liked it or not; they both stood in the same platform where there was not that much of a crowd like last time, only a small amount of gorillas, chimpanzees, orangutans, and unknown _baboon_ - _like_ apes sat including the general who sat with them look down at the two young humans in this round indoor amphitheater looking hall. The president rang the bell for all the apes to remain quiet and asked for the second young human with ape knowledge to speak up. Stan let go of Leopold's hand, he walks up to the microphone and spoke "Uh... G-Greetings oh great wise apes," he replied startling the rest of the apes "my name is Stan Marsh." After a short second they all stood calm and silent. One of the council apes (chimpanzee) next to the president on the left asked, "Then in that case, tell us young human, are there more of you coming down from the planet you call Earth to our planet Soror? There's a crashed spacecraft that's been discovered in the National Congo Rainforest by the government four weeks ago; we're to believe it was yours, if that's correct." Both Stan and Leopold took a deep breath and concentrated on their speeches, "No, no, no, the spacecraft you found was actually a piece of the same spacecraft Butters and his parents crashed landed in." "Butters?" "... _Um_... _hhhhh_ Scuse me _Leopold_ and his parents crash landed in." Stan's reply made the other council ape (orangutan) next to the president on the right question " **So what you're telling us is**... **you were in one of the space shuttle's stages**?" "One of the other decks sir, there was a second deck, part of our ship." Stan replied "Technically it was more of a... let's just say... an escape pod for an emergency, because there wasn't enough room for me on the first deck so I went to the second deck where the pilots were; so it was like a double deck for the ship. The pilots and I tried to evacuate with Bu-Leopold's family when we were about to land, but were too late when they accidentally opened the door and got sucked out when the ship's stages separated from each other. I was the only one left behind alive when the door automatically shut itself due to caution, and thus... the piece of the ship I was in... lost course for a while until now." "That's when the cockpit I believe landed in the same jungle where the primitive humans inhabited then." guessed the council chimp, " ** _That's_ _very convenient_**." discouraged General Urus as Stan saw something odd about that ape's looks for a brief second. One of the council apes then question why Leopold only told them his parents flew him up to space and no one else. Leopold tried making up an excuse and told what he remembered in his previous speech about not remembering that much about their flight after the accident. Stan however tells them that Leopold invited him to come with him and his parents on this trip and that he carries some amnesia after the crash, much to Leopold's aggravated look. He also tells them the name of their ship was called Liberty C-3PO (which was actually the name of Stan's crashed space shuttle) not TMZ, which was just another white lie since they knew about the full remaining spacecraft Stan was in. Stan tried playing it good and positive with his speech, letting all the formal power structured apes know he's just as peaceful and loyal as his _so called friend_ , and their world is almost the same as theirs except apes do not exist on their planet but there tiny little striped monkeys that live up in tree branches called lemurs Stan made up in order for them know a little about the animals they have on Earth. After going through a few more details of his intelligence like drawing a picture of their planet and writing some math problems and words on the chalkboard, the grand council finally made their decision. A decision that both Stan and Leopold were not so proud of...

While Stan made it out okay with assembly giving a fair round of applause, the grand council's announcement wasn't so convincing to him, because due to the shock of another living ape-human that might send most of Soror into a panic, poor Stan had to once again be kept away from the public unseen. Stan didn't say a word while walking down the hall out to the car with despondency. Urus walked outside to his official state vehicle while (with a straight face) he watched the two human infants with their legal ape guardians drive away, from a 40 feet view.

Returning to the chimp residence, Cornelius and Zira felt very awful about Stan not getting the council's approval to become part of their society along with Leopold who felt the same way, it seems they might be getting very suspicious with their stories and they have not told them everything about their planet Earth. Stan sat in bed moping until Zira walked into the bedroom to comfort him and told him, "Listen, I'm sorry to tell you this but if you and Leopold want to see Kenny right away you have to follow the same routines like at the lab, understand?" "... ...You-you mean it?" "With all my heart Stan" "I... yes mam." "Good, the two of you will need some rest." While keeping him remained hidden by order from the government wasn't a fair deal, the two apes did not forget their end of the bargain as Zira snuck Stan into the car with Leopold and drove them off to where Kenny was, at the human sanctuary, without the authorities knowing.

They were at the same old louge, meeting the same old keeper Lisa who Zira told her "I'm just letting Leopold see Kenny again for a few minutes if that's alright?" "Why of course," Lisa said "he is definitely welcome to... _my word_... Dr. Zira, what is-" "Oh my apologies, this young nameless human child in trunks is from the zoo, he's really harmless but is having trouble fitting in the zoo humans, they assigned me to examine him and take him to see all the other orphans, that way the zoo's director can decide by tomorrow whether he should move here or not." replied Zira while Stan (pretending to be primitive) tried holding in his anger after hearing that since it's bad enough he had to be on a leash again. Lisa was very honored to let them spend a quick moment to see Kenny, even though visiting hours were over. From out the back through the tall wired gateway fence were a small group of eighteen human juveniles, there they saw the feral Kenny without his hooded coat or anything just completely bare-naked and scruffy like the rest of the feral kids. Lisa decided to let them have a moment alone with him this time, only on two separate sides of the enclosure from each other. "Kenny?" Stan uttered at him, repeating his name three times but he didn't respond back, not a word except for a couple of grunts and hoots, then started wiping his ass on the ground back and forth while scratching his back and stomach. "Why won't he answer!?" confused Stan, "You see, this is what me and Zira tried telling you a week ago Stan," Leopold explained "he can't remember any of us, he's been like this ever since he was captured by the poachers and eventually rescued. He remained here over about a month after I was released, and I tried doing the same thing, but nothing budged... he's gone Stan, Kenny's one of them now. ...I'm sorry." Kenny walked back over to his group on bent legs with the same young feral girl "believe to be his mate", Stan tells Zira he saw quite enough and decides to return to her house with Leopold.

As they got back from that unpleasant animal sanctuary, Stan told Zira and Cornelius he's not hungry for dinner and "once again" stayed in Leopold's bedroom lying down in bed on the right end side and falls into depression about one of his three close friends driven into an animalistic behavior. Leopold eventually approached his bedroom without Zira tucking him in and tells Stan with his back turned "I'm really sorry Stan. Good night."

While Stan had to stay hidden, the president was fair enough to give him a tour around town and get to know parts of their home and culture just like Leopold which is why he called Cornelius on the phone and offered him to take Stan out on a private visit to some places every weekend early in morning before the afternoon starting tomorrow with Leopold guiding him. This didn't seem bother Stan one bit outside of being watched over by Cornelius and the authorities as they drove him and Leopold in a black limousine to a movie theater at 8 am. in the morning before it opened at 10 for the rest of the ape costumers to come in, while all the employees, security guards, and managers had to officially stay out except for the apes working at the projection booth for at least two and a half hours, so Stan could watch any film they were playing. "I'd go for that new Star Wars movie that's still playing Stan _sure I've already saw it two months ago_ but I guess it wouldn't hurt to see it again, it's kinda like The Phantom Menace, but not so horribly written, _trust me_." said Leopold. Stan could hardly care which movie, after all most of this planet is much like their world except with all apes. He chose Star Wars: A New Jedi. The film was almost like a simian rehash of the phantom menace to Stan, "except the it was nothing like that pile of garbage with the characters who are apes not acting wooden or annoying, and there was no _Jar Jar Binks_ "! After the movies the next place they came to visit after driving by a large gorilla statue (resembling the New York Atlas Statue) was Kanzi's Food Bank where Stan found another shock in one of their fruit gardens. There were big yellow brown striped melons; these weren't just any melons, they were watermelons, watermelons in a different color, the insides of them were blue instead of red! On top of that, these watermelons can grow on trees as shown! Stan did not know what to make of this. He and Leopold tried a segment and it tasted just like the green-red ones on Earth, but fresh and juicier. "Well that's something you don't see on Earth everyday (supposedly)." said Stan, "Oh believe me Stan, that's nothing wait until you see what they have at the zoo when they take us there next weekend." Leopold admired. Those were the only two places they took Stan to see until the next upcoming weekend. Stan had to relax after his return with Leopold and Cornelius's return, Leopold was very glad Stan got to see a movie and experience some of their fresh clean environment.

Three days flew by, it was now Wednesday the 18th. Stan had been staying in Leopold's bedroom over the pass few days; he couldn't stop thinking about poor Kenny and the reason why he was here to begin with. Zira wanted to talk to him after barely touching his food lately, but it seems he didn't felt comfortable talking to an ape, however Cornelius (who got back from work a little early) decided to take action on talking to the boy alone for a minute or two. He knocked on the door and asked, "May I come in?" " _Uh yeah_?" "(Cornelius walks in, closes the door, and approaches Stan in white pjs sitting on the bed)Oh pardon me Stan, but wasn't Leopold or uh-Butters with you earlier?" "(Stan nervously turns his head left from seeing the chimpanzee eye to eye)I don't think he came back this afternoon, I thought he was with you... or Z-Zira... I don't know." Cornelius saw how worried Stan looked and tries sitting next to him on the bed "but not too close, and without looking at him". "Well, Zira and I understand how hard it is to be cooped up here in this house under the council's foul decision, but I'm sure it won't be like this all the time. ...You're still thinking about yours and Leopold's friend back at that human sanctuary aren't you?" "...I lost everything... my friends, family, they all turned against me. I don't know who I am anymore." "... ...Well lad, I slightly disagree; you still have _him_." "Who? Butters?" " _Aye_ ,(he then glanced at Stan) you should be proud of yourself Stan, I mean not that it's any of my business but... whatever the cruel meaning they did to you... I'd say it wasn't your fault, at least on our planet that doesn't count." "(Stan carefully turns his head back and glanced at Cornelius)...But...I..." "Young man, I am definitely not your father or his, I just thought you might understand... that we are not willing to slam the door your face or throw you out on the streets _even if it means disinfecting the bathroom a few times_. You my boy are just as unique as Leopold with some different personas. And if those bigots don't see any of that, then they must be as primitive and abnormal as the ones here on Soror. You are who you are Stan Marsh, which do you know is right and which do you know is wrong?" Stan thinks for a moment, but Cornelius gets off the bed and tells him "If you need anything I'll be in the kitchen, I think Leopold is in there helping Zira make square shaped rice krinkle treats now." "(Cornelius heads for the door)...Wait...uh..." "Yes Stan." "...I...(Stan sighs) ...I guess I could try a piece." Stan comes out of the bedroom and follows Cornelius to the kitchen. There Stan is greeted with Leopold shouting "Surprise! Happy Birthday Stan!" Stan is startled when he sees both Zira and Cornelius are throwing him birthday party since good old Butters could not forget Stan's birthday was on the 18th of October, with balloons, vanilla ice-cream, a cup of milk, and a medium size chocolate cake. "Today's my birthday?" "Of course it is Stan, it's October 18th, the day of your birthday is on, Zira and I made it especially for you." Stan was surprised alright considering his birthday wasn't til three months back on Earth, but because this wasn't Earth and it's now set in a different time he realized it wouldn't hurt to have an earlier birthday. Another surprise came to him when one of Zira's relatives pays a visit. It's one of Leopold's two ape friends Zira's beloved niece Lucy who she drove up to the house unseen! This wasn't any of Zira's or Cornelius's attempt to bring her into this; Leopold only thought it would nice to sneak into the house _once again_ without any of the authorities finding out which did upset the two at first when he had to tell her about the new ape-human on Soror at school, that would be going against the council's strict order, to not let any other ape know about this. Zira however remained calm and so did Cornelius because she's a family guest and promises to keep this to herself, the same went with Leopold who must not tell anyone else (even though he told Bombo about Stan's existence but he too promise to keep it to himself and not to tell anyone either). Leopold did not invite Bombo not just so there won't be another risk to get exposed but because he needed to take care of his sick mother at home, so it was just Lucy who closely looked at Stan and could not believe her eyes, "Wow, so you're who Leopold had told me about." Surprised Lucy "...Yeah pretty much." replied Stan. Zira rushed to get Stan's presents from her bedroom and Cornelius went to find a lighter for the candles from the living room, Leopold uses the bathroom for a quick tinkle giving Lucy and Stan some time to know each other, "Oh pardon me, my name's Lucy, what's yours?" "Stan." "Stan... Stan Marsh?" "... _Yeah_." "Are you the one with the red and blue hat Leopold drew at school for me and Bombo. All the kids at his school on Earth." Lucy passed the picture to Stan from the end of the table around the cake. Almost all the kids were there Kyle, Cartman, Wendy, Token, Bebe, Craig, including their teacher Mr. Garrison, and Mr. Mackey too. "Wait, I think Leopold told me a few things about you. "(Stan makes a stern face)Yeah like what?" "Well like the time you risked your life to save a lot of calves from being killed for meat, including dolphins and whales too!" "(Stan changes his stern face to partly stupefied face)..." "Did you really do all of that?!" "...Well... nobody else cared, they were all going extinct but... _yeah_ in a word." "You really are like Leopold, Stan, you care for animals don't you?" " _Aauh_..." "Hey, I cared too! I was with him that day saving those calves." interrupted Leopold. Their little chat cuts short when Cornelius lit the candles and Zira brought the three gifts for Stan and sang happy birthday to him. Stan blew out the candles and opened his presents; the first gift was what Leopold picked out for him and thought he might like, two Unstoppable Silverback walkie-talkie figures, but the two last gifts... were new clothes, the kind fit for Stan! Zira told him they're made from the same ape tailor who made Leopold's new clothing, this time wouldn't have to keep wearing those black trunks and white pjs all the time, by tomorrow he'll look just the same as Leopold. Stan didn't know what to say, these apes prove to be very thoughtful to him, and treated him with loyalty and refined manners. "...I really don't know what to say... _thanks_ , thank you, I like it." "We thought you would Stan." joyed Leopold "I knew how difficult it was for you to get use to this planet, but Zira and Cornelius here are bound to make you feel right at home Stan." "I agree." replied Lucy, "Well I suppose it's time we had cake right away." said Zira allowing Stan to gently cut the cake. While everyone in the house were enjoying cake and icecream, Cornelius received a phone call from Lisa at the human sanctuary... it was about Kenny McCormick, _something tragic_ , something that Cornelius did want to explain to Leopold or Stan, it would break their poor little hearts as he'll let Zira know soon and hung up. It was getting late, Zira had to take Lucy back home to her mother but not before saying her goodbyes and I'll miss you so muches to Stan, "I do hope you'll be free to walk this city along with Leopold." "Yeah, hope so too." "Oh uh one more thing..." Lucy whispers to Stan, "... _Is it true_... _of what Leopold had told Bombo and I a while back_... _about this Eric Cart-man_? _Is he by any chance_... _evil_?" "... _Well Lucy just between you and I..._ _let's just say you guys are lucky not to be on Earth_ , _it's almost like another hell_ , _especially with the most wicked people like Cartman_." Stan whispered back. Lucy felt a tiny tremble after hearing Stan's theory about Earth and the nature of his people. She quickly regains calm and says her goodbyes to Leopold and a slight hug to each other. After a quick look at him with a sheepish smile she left with her Aunt Zira sneaking her back in the car and drove off for an hour.

The next day, Stan changed out of Leopold's white pjs in the bathroom and put on the new pair of clothing, Zira also let Stan know she didn't had time to measure his size so they just went with the same size as Leopold's and hoped the ensemble will fit him. Stan came out wearing the his new Soror outfit which turn out to be the same outfit Leopold wears except with different colors: blue long sleeve shirt with cream colored vest over it, and a pair of brown jeans. The shoes seemed a little tight but overall the clothes fit perfectly okay for him. This was without a doubt the same reaction Zira had when Leopold put on ape clothes, she felt like this would be a new generation of humans around the world of Soror, but that would be going too deep with the concept of the two human kids. She just accepted Stan's up-to-date appearance and said "Now you and Leopold will both look good at Zoo this Saturday." "Wow" awed Leopold seeing Stans clothing, "it almost looks like we're the sa-" "Yeah I know, I know Butters I know. At least I'm finally wearing more Earth-like clothes."

By the time it was Saturday, the ape officials brought Cornelius, Stan, and Leopold over to the Sokwee National Zoo where it all looked like the same as the ones on Earth to Stan, right up until he noticed the animals were a lot more active, not only that, but Stan finds another shocking reveal when he comes across the elephant habitat. Then it hit him when he saw Soror's african elephants. These weren't like the elephants back on Earth, these elephants' bodies were all covered in fur from tail to trunk all the way down to their feet! To him they looked more like endangered wooly mammoths, only smaller down to regular elephant size. Stan became stunned when he saw this, but Leopold convinced him, "That's not all, they also have their own dodo bird enclosure." "What?" surprised Stan who followed Leopold into the bird house. There were the dodos from behind the indoor glass barriers, Stan was not dreaming any of this, dodo birds that were rumored to have existed in the present day on Earth after the ice age are here too! The dodos are seen in their enclosure, each making these strange noises that sound like a mix between a gasp and hiccup, according to the animal identification signs they usually make those noises to attract a mate or sometimes beg for more food. The zookeepers were now feeding the five prehistoric birds in the enclosure, the agent-apes didn't have all day, the director allowed them to stay for only one hour and 23 minutes before it's time for the zoo to open. Cornelius tries to make it snappy and offered Stan to come see the giraffes and rhino habitat up on the outdoor platform. Stan didn't mind, he would like see what the rhino's look like, and " _what a shock_ " their rhino happens to be all furry too (almost like a wooly rhinoceros)! The giraffes were still the same looking earth animals. While Leopold tries taking some photos of these animals Cornelius and Stan have another brief chat together, "You seem to be well intrigued with the our zoo animals." "Yeah no kidding, you guys have all furry elephants and rhinos, and prehistoric birds that had been extinct for million of years on Earth." Stan's reply made Cornelius wonder what type of animals they had on Earth besides cats, dogs, squirrels, ...and apes. Cornelius takes Leopold to the restroom while Stan stayed at the platform watching that unusual looking rhino when all of a sudden, one of the giraffes approached Stan with it's head sticking up. The giraffe's head came closer to him and Stan backs away, he had nothing to feed it with. Then Cornelius shows up and hands Stan a big leaf of lettuce to feed this friendly mammal. The giraffe scarfed the leaf up without slobbering "or biting off" his hand as Stan gently petted it's head; the giraffe didn't mind, but it eventually walked back with it's group. Cornelius sees how Stan is quite affectionate among animals, that Stan felt a little embarrassed. They continued their tour around the zoo, by far everything else looked just the same as Earth's zoos, except when they approached the primate area (where they keep the humans), which was their last quick look before it's time to leave and return home. They used a tunnel path (which was near the zoo exit at the end) where they saw all the human species. While walking through every habitat with Leopold Stotch, Stan Marsh was disturbed to see all these caged people kept as animals besides acting that way. There were other races besides the tannish looking ones: the big dwellers with blacker and darker skins at the start of the tunnel on the left side were the Africans, the ones that had long whitish-grey silver hair and beards close to the end on the right side were the Asians who seemed calm and less aggressive than the others. This kept hurting Stan's head on so many levels he could barely look in the mirror and wonder if he's still human, "Butters" he asked "Tell me, am I still human, because I really want to know, how are you not disturbed by any of this?" "Well I might have from the start, but by the time I was free I realized you just have to deal with things like this Stan, I mean we're not as primitive as they are, at least we're the only two lucky to be alive on this planet." "...That's what I'm afraid of Butters, I don't think this-" "Hey Stan look it's Cheeta!" Leopold rushed to the central human enclosure on the right side and sees Cheeta move toward the glass barrier trying to embrace him after so long (even sometimes lick the glass in front of him). Leopold told Stan that he's paid a few visits at the zoo to see her and she always grinned with excitement every time she sees him, he even admit that he tried teaching her to learn words in sign language at least; it seems they both had bonded with each other since they were captured much to Stan repulsed by this. Stan came to Cornelius who was still watching them from fifteen feet back in the hall and asked "Cornelius, when I first came here _to this planet_ , I've witness tons of humans like those, foul, dirty, vulgar, and feral that like to smell their own feces, and one of them seem to have had a taste for others like they're cannibals or something! Thank God I was able to survive that trip." "...Well my dear boy, it just so happens _and I'm quite sure I've told Leopold this months ago_ , that these humans can sometimes eat themselves!(Stan gapes) like biting off their own thumbs when some of them can't find anything to eat out in the rainforest." Cornelius then tells him that the humans in tan out in the jungle next to the black skin ones are considered to be ignorant and violent at times while the asian homos are considered gentle and can sometimes get along with their mate and infants. This then makes Stan go as far into questioning Cornelius more about their origins and where did it all start. Cornelius once again saw how nervous Stan felt and what he could tell him were only some little details as an archaeologist who discovered traces of fossils and artifacts. Ages ago, a primate race known as the **_pithecus_** were once carnivorous animals like the humans but those were eventually split into two different species in the family tree where the gorillas and orangutans were first originated; the same goes the planet's existing creatures known as the **_yeti_** and **_squatches_** that were said to be the ancestors and origins of both the homos and chimpanzees according to the theory of Dr. Cornelius and a few other ape archaeologists and ape evolutionists. As for the monkeys, they were descendants of Maximus's race known as " _Drills_ " and they came way before the ape was developed in both Africa and Asia; the drills are the most ancient apes of all. The first apes created with the power of knowledge by their God were two chimps named Aldo and Nova who passed it all on to other apes in the simian race. The lawgiver known as Haristas first started the religion 6 million years ago. As confusing as he thought this was Stan wasn't going to keep arguing about other people's religions anymore especially after all the shit he's been through on Earth. "Hey Cornelius." "Yes Stan." "I really just wanna thank you and Zira for helping me remain safe and..." "It's not just us you should thank, it's also Leopold, or Butters in your term, you really shouldn't be mad at him after all he's done for you, helping learn are manners and respect. You two are the only ones left, why not just spend some time with him, it's the least you can do, your not as spiteful as the people who treated you on Earth are you?" Stan had to think about that, after weeks of getting cared for and not getting ripped on, Stan said, "...Alright fine, I'll think about it tomorrow." "That's spirit child." admired Cornelius "Why don't you _go tell **Butters it's time to leave St** a-an-n_." Stan heard that voice and saw a glimpse of his father Randy Marsh standing next to him as he looked up! But after rubbing his eyes and blinking it switched back to Cornelius at the same spot, "I say, are you alright?" concerned Cornelius " _Huh_? Oh, I'm fine _ah_... I'll let L-leopold know." replied Stan rushing back over to Butters playing with Cheeta, " _That's funny_ ," Cornelius muttered "he never mentioned that name until now." Stan came to Leopold telling him it's time to go, that's when Cheeta sees Stan, another human like Leopold, and so did the two other human teens came up to him beyond the glass staring at him while showing off their nuts " _Eauwwh like that's a good site to look at_!" disgusted Stan, but all the human juveniles remained silent and confused. Then came the zoo's director Dr. Arthur, a drill (except unlike Maximus he looked almost like a macaque due to his grayish-tan fur and pink face) who turned out to be one of the apes from the congress came to greet the two young humans and cunningly asked "Having fun at the primate area aren't we boys?" "Oh sure, of course." replied Leopold after all the feral kids including Cheeta ran off in the enclosure. Arthur asked Cornelius how much time they had left because he couldn't keep delaying the costumers and employees after 10am. Cornelius leads Stan and Leopold out to the exit and returned home.

One Sunday morning, Cornelius hasn't told Zira or the boys yet about Kenny but was thinking about it after reading the newspaper about yesterday's incident, seven apes in Sokwee became mentally ill with something, _something very unusual_ , and two that died of sickness that might be from the same disease according to the doctors. This could perhaps why the boys' trip to the Sokwee Museum was cancelled yesterday and today. After using the bathroom Stan came into Leopold's bedroom and found him watching a safe family friendly comedy ape show on TV called Sam and Oscar. Stan sat next to Leopold responding "OH hey Stan, something wrong?" "... ... ...A lot of things are wrong with me Butters, a lot of things." "Like what?" "... ... ... ." "...Look Stan, you can't stay mad at this planet, or Cornelius and Zira, they maybe apes but for gosh sake they're people like you and me, at least on Soror." "That's not it, you know what I told you, about how I got here right? Just forget it, Butters, I don't care if you hate me or not, none of that matters, nothing matters to me anymore, not after the way I was treated, banished from Earth by my family, friends, and every citizen in South Park, all because I refuse to vote, vote for some stupid school election! I really don't know who I am or where I belong. Maybe you were right Butters, maybe I do need to get a life. But how can I when I feel more like an outcast here? (with a tear in his eye)." Leopold understood Stan's pain and tries to make an amends with each other, "Stan, I have a bit of a confession to make, it's about what I said back at Elementary School about you and the other boys except for Kenny, I didn't really mean all that, I mean I still hate Eric with a passion, but the truth is... I was never mad at any of you guys, I was just pissed off that day over the fact that Ben Affleck got to be handsome, talented, and goes home and kiss Jennifer Lopez." "Ben Affleck isn't with Lopez anymore; he's married to Jennifer Gardner." "What? Really? Huh, well uh... you know Stan, none of that matters to me anymore, I mean for once I can start a new life out here whether it's an alien race or not..." " _Monkeys more like it_." "A-" "Apes, apes I get it." "You shouldn't be mad at yourself anymore Stan, I'm still here, and so are you, now neither of us are alone." "...Yeah well at least you get to have that life out there while I have to be kept here like a pet for God knows how long. Plus I keep getting these crazy visions of people I know from Earth whenever I look at these apes on Soror." Leopold admitted to Stan that this happened to him before couple times, like last week at the end of school he saw two more short images from his past life on Earth involving one of the ape children walking out of the hall, a chimp girl who confused him for Wendy and some tubby gorilla boy who nearly reminded him of Cartman even though they looked nothing alike! But none of those mattered to him either "Absolutely not, I don't wish to forget about Earth, but that doesn't mean we can't start a new life here, and I'll bet those agents will put in a good word with the president and other chief authorities of how civilized you were with them and they might reconsider, then you'll be part of ape society soon, it won't be forever." Stan "again" wasn't going to keep arguing and muttered "... ...Yeah, _not forever alright_..." "So... what do you think of Soror so far?" "...Well, I... _aw fuck it_ , I guess you could argue that... oh God I'ts kinda what Earth should've been! Their people are honest, loyal, and...and..." " _Kind_?" "...Butters...(Stan sighs) why don't we just watch some TV (with a little smile)." "Why the heck not Stan." So Stan Marsh finally accepts his fate " _for now_ " and decides to spend some time with Leopold Butters Stotch, watching ape cartoons, play Rough N' Tumble on nintendo 64, and eventually after dinner allows Zira to read them a story book in bed before they went to sleep. Afterwards Zira gave Leopold a kiss on the cheek goodnight while he and Stan fell asleep. Things may have started out okay, but that's when it was all about to change the next day.

There was only half-a-day at school for the elementary students, Leopold, Lucy, Bombo, and Jonathan (young orangutan child wearing glasses in yellow jacket) were the only ones who arrived on cloudy day where they come across another ape friend of Leopold at the front entrance raking leaves; it's Zornam who found another job working as the school janitor now and surprisingly use to seeing Leopold around, "Hey Zornam!" they cried, " ** _Good morning children_** , **hey did you all hear the news**?" "What news?" questioned Leopold, "I heard every ape out in Sokwee are getting very ill." said Jonathan who Bombo and Lucy agreed with, " **That's right there's a whole plague going on out there** , **a huge one** , **so you best better get all your desks and lockers cleaned out** , **cause you'll won't be going back to school for a long time**." The students had no work sheets or anything, they just needed everything cleaned out because their school will be closing shortly which is why it's a half day today. Lucy, Jonathan, and Bombo were ready to leave at the right time for the bus, Lucy reminds Leopold that Bombo is going to stay with her and her mother Cassia for three days while _his_ mother was in the hospital getting operated on, hopefully she'll get better tomorrow by that time (wouldn't count on it) that is why Bombo had been very quiet and a bit unhappy all day "Have a good afternoon Lucy, you and Bombo, I'll write a get well card and mail it to you guys and give it to his mom, signed by us Lucy." said Leopold "I... hope we see you again after all this is over." said little shy Lucy. They shook hands _or paws_ " _who the fuck cares_ " and glanced at each other until Bombo calls out for Lucy, her mom was here to pick them up. Cassia decided to take Leopold with them and drop him off first, there was something Cornelius and Zira needed to talk to him alone with Stan.

Leopold later got dropped off and waved goodbye to Lucy and Bombo (who smiled) in the car before they left, for it would be their only time they as Leopold walked into the living room and found both Cornelius and Zira, and Stan too who have been waiting for him, there was something serious they wanted to discuss. Zira's eyes were red, as though she has been sobbing. They seem to have bad news for him and Stan, but neither of them dares to speak. Stan just came out into the living room an hour ago as told and they didn't tell him anything until Leopold came back. "Uuhh... I'm not in trouble am I?" concerned Leopold. "No..." replied Cornelius, "you both are." "What!" cried Stan, "This doesn't have to do with-" "No, no, no, you don't understand," worried Zira "your friend Kenny had passed away..." "... ...Passed away?" shocked both Stan and Butters. Cornelius explained it all to them, "I didn't want to tell you this until now as I told Zira... last week Lisa told me on the phone for three days, Kenny had became very ill, he could barely eat any of his food, he's been looking very pale lately since your last visit, they've tried every medical treatment but nothing worked... his heart finally stopped... on the 18th." Stan looked down and Butters grieved a little, and said, "No... Kenny... Oh Kenny, why... ...how could it get any worst?" "I'm afraid it has gotten worst, much worst." said Cornelius. Stan looked back up and asked "...What do you mean?" "Ever since Kenny had... passed on, his body had been examined, and one of the vets seem to have caught something from his corpse, something very unusual, something that's been spreading fast all over Sokwee and other nations around Soror! Have you heard the news?" "Yeah, Zornam and everyone told us at school." "Come to think of it, I have too on TV, something about a virus going on?" Cornelius explains to the boys that Kenny had carried a big powerful surreal virus that's been passing on to other apes from the human sanctuary, doctors, workers, everyone! It's become that contagious! Not only is it killing some apes, but those who were immune to it's toxin seems to have made them abnormal, the disease also caused an unknown mutation, turning every apes' mind into something completely vulgar! Or in this case... _primitive_. Every ape had to be quarantined in order to prevent the infection. Not to mention... the humans Kenny was with, seem to have gain the ability... to _SPEAK_! _Like it's all getting switched around_! Stan and Butters were gaped at what Cornelius just told them, "...Dude! Seriously?" surprised Stan more than ever, "While being shipped out, one of them kept mimicking every word from the guards loud and clear! The same goes to the humans out in the rainforest that had been reported to have sounded and acted like apes!" shocked Zira who also tells them this was also the reason why she was looking over all the young humans (counting Cheeta) from the zoo two weeks ago, they didn't talk but they manage get some intelligence. Today Cheeta started talking already, "Wow, Cheeta finally talked, I must be a good teacher to her..." "Please don't interrupt us Leopold, yes she's learned to talk but she also had to be put down like the rest!" Butters becomes very sorrowful, "...B-but, but why?" he grieved "This is what we're trying to tell to you both, you're in great danger!" Zira explained, "The Grand Council had finally come to a conclusion, _they've been quite suspicious with the stories we had you tell_ ; they all believe you're the cause of all this, no thanks to that pompous orangutan Zaius who is now working alongside General Urus convinced them that you've become a huge threat to us." "Zaius is in on this too?" angered Butters, "Yes, he's been plotting for some time and he is going to get the better of us. Needless to say, the general is wanting all your blood than you could ever imagine. I on the other hand had been given orders to take you both back to their army research facility where you'll be immediately euthanized." "... ...You...you mean... you're gonna kill us...!?" Dreaded Butters; Stan starts brooding, he can't seem to wonder if Soror might possibly be what Stan thinks it could be... "Nay!" cried Cornelius, "Never fear children, for we are not here to turn you in but to work out a plan of action." "(Zira approaches Butters and places her hand on his head with comfort)Cornelius is quite right, we will not abandon you. We have decided to save the two of you, and we'll be helped by a small group of brave chimpanzees." "...What can _we_ do?" questioned Stan, "You must get away you must leave this planet, to which you should never have come, you must go back to where you belong, to Earth." Cornelius replied, "...Well good luck with that! The apes already took the spacecraft I was in." "Yeah and the ship I was in had sank down into the lake a while back." Cornelius smiles and tells them the ship that's been sank had already been salvaged and recovered surprising Stan and Butters, the ship known as Icarus-TMZ! Deep in the Congo Rainforest, lies another secret military base, an isolated laboratory run by a great genius chimpanzee scientist named Dr. Milo Helius, a dear friend of Dr. Cornelius. "We need to leave now, it will be a two day drive, plus my sister was generous enough to lend us her car for ours so the authorities wont suspect us." said Zira. Butters then embraces Zira after all the times they had together and so does she in tears as Stan watched, realizing how much these apes care for them, even when it means risking their own lives, and knew this wouldn't last forever on a planet like this. He too slowly hugs them... _four together_ "... ... ** _ahmmm_**... _Alright_ , _alright_ in the car you two, we don't have much time." muttered Cornelius.

And so they quickly took a different car and drove off into the rainforest beyond the city without getting caught by the enforcement after Cornelius gave them a call on his _DynaTAC phone_ telling them they were on their way (which they weren't). Meanwhile up at the establishment, Urus becomes very anxious on wanting to see these two aliens experimented on and eliminated. " **Patience, Urus** , **if they do not bring those specimens in time then it will be the end of _their careers_**." " **I'd say their heads** **most likely, d** **octor** , **those chimpanzees have about an hour to get up here, or else**."

Later that night, while driving through the longest road up to the Congo River, Butters remained sulking next to the window, Stan felt the same but then tells him, "... _HHhh_... I know I'm gonna regret this _but_... I'm sorry, Butters, for you know... everything." "It don't matter Stan, we're already leaving, it's probably going to reset soon when we get back to our crummy Earth. I never got to hear what poor Cheeta's first word was before..." "... ... _Well_... at least we know that you're not vulgar like we thought you were from the beginning, both of you unlike what Dr. Zaius and that thick headed Urus think of you." said Cornelius while Zira fell asleep next to him in the front which reminded Stan, "...Hey Cornelius." "What?" "Not that it's any of my business but... just what kind of ape is Urus anyway? Is he a gorilla, a chimp, or another drill? Just a curiosity that dude gives me the creeps." " _Uh_... well not this matters but... his mother was chimpanzee and his father was a gorilla, he's sort of a mixed race." "...Sorry I asked... ...but uh... one more thing..." "Yes?" "I just want to say... thank you, for everything, for helping me find my way, I guess I've really learned something today, that Soror is a much better planet than Earth, even though we have _to_... _go back_... okay are you sure that spacecraft is there?!" " _Ssshhh_... Yes, I swear of it Stan, please keep your voice down a little." "Sorry." "Now Dr. Helius had just informed me about it, he knows, and he is also wanting to meet you in person." "I still thank you guys for taking really good care of us, me and _Leopold_ _he heh_." "Zira's the one you ought to thank, It's to her you will owe your life. On my own, I don't know if I should have gone to so much trouble or taken so many risks. But she would never forgive me for being party to murder ... and anyway... I've promised Zira to help you escape, and so I shall even it means losing my job." "I'll never forget you either Cornelius." muttered Butters admiring him. "... ...Nor I you, ... _Butters_."

It was morning, they arrived at some kind of small odd shaped volcano (not the one from town this one's different) everyone woke up and got out of the car where Stan and Butters felt nervous going into as Cornelius told them this is where the lab is, "God I hope it doesn't erupt!" worried Butters, "I don't think it will." replied Cornelius. The secret entrance was toward a stone piled porch. The gateway opened by it'self, there were no guards, just a dark tunnel they had to walk into, leaving the car behind. Zira used a flashlight and the group followed the signs down the hall. They eventually found a light up ahead, there was big laboratory where they were greeted by the one and only Dr. Helius. "...Well, it's about you showed up, Cornelius." "There's been long drive, Zira and I had to find a way to cover our footsteps." "Well they're soon to track you all down either way, I've just tranquilized the security guards and now I-I... my word, do my eyes deceive me!?" "Dr. Milo Helius, allow us to introduce you to, Stan Marsh and Leopold Stotch. The two humans from the planet Earth." Dr. Helius gaped at this, but recovered and greeted "Why it is a pleasure of meeting you fantastic creatures for the first and only time. I've been expecting your presence." Stan and Butters greeted themselves and asked, "Is it true sir, do you really have our ship ready." "...What you mean this?" he replied turning the other lights on showing them the recovered Icarus-TMZ, all fully built, clean and fresh with new windows and everything! " _Dude_! _Noway_!" "You said it Stan! _But where you guys put Timmy's dead body_?"

Cutting back to the other army base, things were now coming to an end; Urus was in rage, that Cornelius and Zira had disobeyed the council's orders and has now sent out his armed forces to heavily track those two humans down, dead or alive! One of his troops just reported a car driving down the west-east trail of the jungle last night, " **Why the devil would they be going there**?" Concerned Zaius, "... ... ** _Of course_**..." " **Well Doctor if those should killed too** , **then they must be killed for high treason and insubordina** -" " ** _COMMENCE LAUNCHING SEQUENCE_** " " **What**!" Jumped Urus and Zaius. One of the ape scientists were infected with the vulgar disease, therefore causing him to idiotically play with the launch simulation... _and released THE_ **_BOMB_**... ...an atomic nuclear missile that just flew up to the atmosphere and flew back down... it took a fifteen minutes while a depressed gorilla president watched from outside on the balcony of his mansion as the bomb landed directly into the valcano... then mutters " _ **Make that twice convenient**_..." **.**

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In one of the countless billions of galaxies in the universe lies a medium-sized star. And one of its satellites, a green and insignificant planet, is now dead.


	7. EPVII THOUSAND HOMOS JUMPING ON THE BED

Episode VI: A THOUSAND HOMOS JUMPING ON THE BED, ONE FELL OFF AND BUMPED HIS HEAD

 _ **...EARLIER...**_

Butters, Timmy, and Kenny had disappeared in space with the Icarus-TMZ ship, there was no trace of them whats so ever according to the U.S. government. Stan, Kyle, and even Cartman looked down at themselves after hearing the news, their closest friends Kenny and Timmy were gone forever. Three days later, a funeral was held for them, three empty coffins filled with photos, journals, notebooks, knick knacks and stuff (since lord knows their bodies have vanished) in order to respect the fond memories of them. Everybody was there including the mayor who announced "...And so we will never forget these brave young boys who sacrificed their lives in space as test dummies for the NASA project only to mysteriously disappear after reaching Saturn flying at 60 million kilometers faster than normal spacecraft speed, therefore we humbly dedicate these three tiny little medals for each grave. GOD speed **... _literally_...** to both Leopold Stotch otherwise known as Butters, Kenneth McCormick, Timothy Burch, _and_... some child we knew nothing about but is having his own funeral elsewhere, Hector Stewart." The everyone utters amen as Father Maxi delivers the final quote for this burial, "May our Holy Lord bless them with generosity and morality." "We use to teach our dear son Butters morality!" grieved Stephen Stotch while leaving the cemetery along with Linda and the rest of the crowd. It was a sad week for everyone now that poor Butters, Kenny, and Timmy are no longer around.

However the emotion by the next few weeks had started to die down. Tweek was chosen by the boys to take the position of the fourth friend to replace both Kenny and Butters, Randy Marsh started getting into another one of his retarded ambitions which was using some pot for a while; Everyone moved on with their lives except for Stephen and Linda Stotch who've been arguing with each other for three days about leaving Butters to go out to his birthplace on his own (until Kenny joined him) and eventually get kidnapped by the NASA scientists to go flying into space. Stephen kept on drinking over his issues with Linda every night.

One month went by; at South Park Elementary, six cheerleaders, all the fourth-graders and teachers, lead a pep rally in the gym. " _We are South Park, Green and White. Let's go, Cows! Fight, fight, fight! Nobody can beat a Cow! Let's gooo, South Park!_ " cried the cheerleader girls while the audiences were annoyed _especially_ Cartman yawning at all this. Bebe calls out for their mascot, an anthropomorphic cow named Mooey who approaches the gym floor, waving to everyone, and dances. Suddenly while performing, a group of local PETA eco-terrorists show up bursting in through the double doors and rushes towards the cheerleaders. They apprehend Mooey and begin beating him up, then pulling the suit's head off, then one of them throws a bucket of blood on the cheerleaders. "Oh, Jesus, not PETA again." The PETA have come to protest the use of a cow as the school mascot, while showing them a projection screen of old slaughterhouse scenes on how to prepare beef, terrifying the kids as a kindergartner cries over that.

The next day, Mr. Garrison lets his class know they've just been informed because of the same incident yesterday that's been happening 47 times they are going to change the school mascot, much to the students' dislikes, "But, Mr. Garrison, if we change our mascot, that means the eco-terrorists win!" "That's right Stanley the eco terrorist win." so their teacher hands each of them a mascot selection sheet Every student is supposed to check the box next to the mascot they like the most. And the most popular selection will be the school's new mascot. When Clyde replies to the class that they like being cows, a bucket of blood is doused on him by some dreadlocked PETA member from out of nowhere and the rest of the class gasp. "You're responsible for the enslavement and genocide of millions!" he hollered, luckily Mr. Garrison takes action and drives the member out of the classroom while throwing some papers and spraying a can of mace on him, "Jesus, where do they keep coming from?!" annoyed Garrison after closing the door. He then tries convincing the class there's plenty of mascots to pick from. "Aren't the Indians and Redskins just as offensive." concerned Wendy as acclaimed by one of the names on the sheet, "No, those are fine. PETA doesn't care about people." Mr. Garrison replied.

Afterwards, out in the school hallway the kids (besides Cartman) were not amused to what the selected mascots were coming down to, "We're gonna end up with a stupid eagle or a faggy bobcat as a mascot." disappointed Cartman, until Kyle then came up with an idea, "Wait. You guys, I have an awesome idea! We should secretly go around and tell all the students we can, to not check any of the mascots on this election sheet, and instead write in _Giant Douche_." " _Nnngh_! Sounds like too much pressure!" worried Tweek, then Cartman suggests "Yeah Tweek is right. Besides I got a better idea you guys. What we should do is we should secretly go around and tell all the students we can to not check any of the mascots on this election sheet, and instead write in _Turd Sandwich_." "Ggah! Also sound like too much pressure." Embarrassed by the bland choices, the kids decide to fill in a joke candidate, but disagree as to whether it should be a "giant douche" or a "turd sandwich." Kyle rallies his friends to fill in the giant douche and Cartman gathers support for the turd sandwich. Cartman wins Tweek's support mostly because he was under so much pressure (like he said) he had trouble deciding and randomly choose turd sandwich, but Scott Malkinson joins Kyle while walking by and overheard their strategies down the hall. The result is a tie between the two joke candidates and a run off election is eventually held in the gym. The turd sandwich supporters rally against the giant douche supporters, using bribes and scare tactics to gain support. But Stan on the other hand decides that he doesn't like either candidate, declaring that he won't vote at all. He and Kyle talk about how overwhelming this is outside the front doors of the school while Scott hands out buttons as the other kids come out, "Kyle, aren't you taking this a little too far? I mean, do we really want a giant douche to be our school mascot?" concerned Stan, "Dude, I'm not going to lose to Cartman's stupid turd sandwich." replied Kyle, "Vote for Turd Sandwich!" cried Cartman riding his Big Wheels bike, pulling a portable stage with Tweek embarrassingly dressed as a hula dancer tossing out leis for the kids, and mutters to Cartman, "I feel embarrassed wearing this Er-." "Shut up Tweek, we picked you to be our new friend to replace Kenny and that asshole Butters because we _thought_ you were a team player, keep throwing the damn leis or we'll find someone to replace YOU!" Cartman muttered back as Tweek continued his post. Kyle tries convincing Stan about voting, "There. Do you really want that asshole to win?" "I'm not voting!" "What? Y-you gotta vote, dude. Haven't you seen the Rock the Vote stuff or, or Puff Daddy's Vote or Die!?" "I just think this whole thing is stupid!" After Stan left, Kyle decides to take matters into his own hands...in order to not loose to Cartman. "Scott, we have got to make Stan understand the importance of voting, because he'll definitely vote for our guy."

Later at the Marsh house, Stan gets very distressed, wondering why anyone would care about such a pointless exercise. He talks about it with his parents at dinner, but they turn out to be not impressed with his dismay, "...What did you say?" shocked Stan's Mom, Sharon, "Did you just say that... voting is ridiculous?" surprised Stan's Dad, Randy, "No, I don't think voting is great, but, if I had to choose between a douche and a turd, I just don't see the point." replied Stan, "You don't see the point!" Randy hollers while clenching his fists "Oh you young people just make me sick!" "Stanley, do you know how many people died so you could have the right to vote?!" "Mom I just don't there's much of a difference between a douche and turd, I d-I don't care." "You don't care?! You really want a turd sandwich as your school mascot?! On your football helmets?! A turd!?" "Well hold on, Randy, I think a turd sandwich is a little better than them having a giant douche on their uniforms." "You're crazy! A d-a douche is at least clean!" "it's sexist, is what it is!" "You don't understand the issues, Sharon!" "Are you calling me ignorant!?" "You think the school mascot should a turd sandwich? Well you're not as smart as Einstein!" "I'm sick of you belittling my opinion, you son of a bitch!" While his parents kept arguing and arguing, that's when all the trouble starts when Stan answers the ringing front door... It was Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs with a posse of thugs. " **Your friend Kyle told me you don't understand the importance of voting**. **Apparently you haven't heard of my Vote or Die campaign**." the advocate uttered as he holds up a shirt with a slogan on it, and pulls out a gun from his back pocket! Kyle " _believe it or not_ " hired Puff Daddy to persuade Stan into voting, otherwise... he'll kill him. After an _odd_ music video montage evolving Stan getting chased by the group down the streets and eventually corner him with their guns out to gain support, Stan finally tells them, "...Okay I'll vote!" and Puff Daddy spares him. ... _For now that is_...

By the time of the election, the reluctant Stan arrives at his school (now a polling station) and takes a ballot with Kyle smiling (thinking Stan's on his side), and while Puff Daddy watches them, "You're doing the right thing Stan," Kyle admired "it may not seem important now, but your vote really does count and we all have to do our part." "Okay." Stan finishes his ballot, but Kyle then noticed something, Stan voted for Turd Sandwich. This causes Kyle to angrily persuade Stan into voting for Giant Douche. "I thought I was suppose to make my own decision." annoyed Stan, "Well Yeah, but not if your decision is for Turd Sandwich! What the hell is wrong with you!?" aggravated Kyle, "Wait a minute, you didn't want me to vote, you wanted me to vote for _your guy_!" "Well I just figured you'd vote for my guy! Who's fuckin friend are you!?" Kyle calls out for Puff Daddy, right until Cartman interrupts, "Hey fuck off Kyle! Don't let them immediate you Stan, Ill help walk you to the booth. And then I'm gonna buy you a nice steak dinner with all the trimmings." But Stan has now had just about enough and finally snaps, "Oh forget it! I'm not gonna be persuaded into voting and I'm not gonna be threatened into voting if I don't feel comfortable with it! I'm not gonna vote and you can all just live with it!"

Sadly Stan's _honest_ negativity gets him sent to the principal's office, where his parents were called in as well. "Well my hands are tied. We can no longer have Stan's behavior jeopardizing the other children. He must be removed." announced Principal Victoria, "Oh, are you happy now Stan?" disappointed Randy "You got yourself suspended!" "No, I'm afraid it's worse than that. By the county law I'm bound to enforce the harshest punishment possible." "Explosion?" "No. Banishment." "...B-bani-banishment?" stunned Stan, "You can appeal to the city council, but I don't think it'll do any good. Your son must leave South Park, never to return." "Oh Randy!" cried Sharon in tears, as Randy hollers, "Our son, banished! Where did we go wrong!?" while the two cradled in each other's arms. "You-you're all joking, right?" This was no joke for Stan Marsh; the school really did meant they, including the whole town, will exile him from South Park, **_FOREVER_**.

On a moonlit-party cloudy night in South Park, the townsfolk are gathered outside at the edge of town, with Stan facing them all alone. A horse stands at the ready on one Main Street. Everyone was all ready for the deportation. Mayor McDaniels steps forth and reads a proclamation, "As it was in the time of our forefathers, so it is now. Stan Marsh, for not following our most sacred of rites, you are hereby banished from South Park for all eternity. Good-bye, Stan. May the gods treat you more kindly than we did." then the townsfolk step forth and begin ripping away Stan's coat and shirt. Mr. Garrison, Officer Barbady, and Craig walk up to Stan one at a time and each rip parts of his coat and shirt, and spit at him. Kyle then steps up asks for Stan to reconsider one last time, "Stan, don't you think this has gone far enough? Is it really that big a deal? Just vote. For Giant Douche." but Stan once again refuses heavily, "NOT VOTING!" he replied. Kyle tares off a piece of Stan's coat, spits at his face, and walked away. " _ **Yo Puffy man**_ ," muttered one of Puffy Daddy's bodyguards " **are we just gonna let this happen**? **We've gots to kill this non-votin' fool**!" " **No** **Justacious** , **let him go**. **He won't survive a fore-night in the wilderness** , **or out on the freeway where a semi-truck could run him over**." Puff Daddy said otherwise. The adults tie Stan up on the horse backwards and send him off with supplies to the tide him over for a while, as Randy delivers his last conversation with his son, "This is breaking your mother's heart Stan, she couldn't even help tie you to the horse." "Dad, isn't this a little extreme?" "Jesus! I guess maybe you'll never understand how important voting is. Goodbye son." So Randy puts a bucket over Stan's head and swats the horse to get it moving. The horse walks off slowly. Stephen Stotch steps up with a horn and blows into it. Randy and Sharon embrace each other again, uttering "That's... one of the hardest things a parent ever has to do." Poor Stan gets rode off throughout the road up to a nearby woods, and beyond that "who knows", where he was to run out of town in disgrace.

The horse wanders on and on, until the upcoming morning, they manage to get all the way passed the small woods through the night and came upon a crossroad surrounded by prairie fields. Just then, a car drove by, it was heading towards Stan on the horse from the left road going horizontally straight through the vertical direction they're taking! The driver sees something right in the center of the crossroad and tries to pull over, only to accidentally hit the horse knocking it over with one slight push from the bumper. This causes the horse get back up run off into the field. Stan is knocked off from the horses's saddle and tries to get back up but the driver came out and helps him up, "Oh my GOD! Kid are you alright!?" "Yeah I guess." The driver takes the bucket off Stan's head. He sees the driver, some black guy in a white lab coat. Judging by his appearance he might possibly be a scientist, "Listen, I'm Dr. MacDonald I'm dreadfully sorry for this, I was trying to take an easier roadway back up to the airport so me and the crew could continue with our research one last time!" "Yeah that's fine, hey could you just untie me from these ropes?" MacDonald who ironically is a scientist also looks at Stan for a few seconds, and seems to ask what ever happened, how the boy ended up like this. Stan just replied, "let's just say my family and friends are dead to me and I never wanna hear them again." "...Oh... I see, so... you have no parents then?" "Uh...no I don't think so." "Really... auuhh... what's your name child?" "Stan Marsh." "... ...Well then, how about I take you to get you something to eat at the airport before I leave, you really been having quite a day out there, what do you say? It's on me, I happen to be a christian." "...Yeah, whatever." "Relax, I'm with the authorities on this." He showed Stan his ID and science degree, and decided to come with him.

It took a while, but they eventually made it to the airport where Dr. MacDonald told to Stan to wait in the car for five minutes while he used the _port-o-potties_ out at the parking lot. In there he gave a call to someone at a lab, telling them he found their new space child. Dr. MacDonald eventually rushes back to car, Stan was still waiting in the front seat. "...Thank GOD..." MacDonald said. "Oh is it time to go in yet?" " _Auh_... actually, Stan, I could only afford you this large fresh blue slurpee cup from 7 Eleven." "...Okay, thanks." He hands Stan the cup and he took a big sip through the straw while MacDonald watch; he also tells Stan, "I felt very sorry for being out here all alone with no family or a home." "Well actually I... ... ... ... ... ... ...I feel kinda funny... ... _wait_... _did you_... **_dru_** -" Stan quickly fell asleep unconscious.

Two days later, Stan then wakes up strapped to some bed, inside the room of a space shuttle, a stasis pod, with someone speaking through a corner mount speaker! "Hello," it said "Stan if your awake..." "Yeah I'm awake, what the hell am I doing here?!" "Yeah, Doctor MacDonald and us didn't want to this but... my name is Dr. A.P. Jacobs, we've been given the privileged to find an orphan child and test one on one of our space traveling shuttles one last time." "What!" Things were now getting worst as it turns out Dr. MacDonald was part of the NASA company, the same company responsible for driving Butters, Kenny, Timmy, and Hector into space and never came back! "We're sorry for drugging you and kidnapping you here, but according to the government, after our last project had failed, they thought about shutting down our company, however they were willing to give us one final chance, especially after putting up a new record on our flight, but only if we don't use children for space testing again, children who already have families. That's why we thought about finding just _one_ orphan instead, the kind that's been washed out, have no shelter, and no one to turn to. We decided to start with Colorado, because we had three children picked from there before, thus we heard about you, Stan Marsh." "Is this because I couldn't fucking vote!?" "No... well maybe a little. But if you ever survive this task, we might be able to help get you back to your town and put in a good word with your family and friends. This would at least give you some time to think about how important voting is to our country." "NO FUCKING WAY I'm taking this risk! What gave you guys the right to abducted people like this!? Let me out!" "Sorry Stan, but it's a little too late for that now. The pod will automatically unstrap you when you reach Pluto, and by that time you'll be released and you can contact us from the radio and we'll help you turn back to Earth in no time, so GOD speed Stan, the Liberty C3-PO will be launching in two minutes." "You're all monsters! You're all animals!" cried Stan in fear, as the space traveling ship known as the Liberty C3-PO (that was a little from the Icarus-TMZ; shaped like a penis) was ready to launch. Stan gets sedated with laughing gas automatically sprayed into the stasis pod, where he'll remain asleep until the ship stops at the last planet line. Right before blacking out, Stan mutters his last words, "... _Aw_ _Godd_ _amn you all_ _to hell..._ "

...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2..1... **_He went off_**.

Much like the Icarus-TMZ, the Liberty C3-PO went off like one bullet shot out of rifle, flying extremely faster, but this time it flew over 60 million Kilometers passed Mars for only 25 minutes which became another good record to the scientists! ...But sadly, another glitch happened, just as the ship flew safely passed the asteroids etc, and surprisingly made it passed Saturn, the ship nearly reached the planet line of Uranus... once again the spacecraft had disappeared after flying faster than the speed of light! "We're gonna look bad in front of the press aren't we?" worried one of the NASA scientists, "Shut up Lewis, let me be the judge of that to the president." replied Gwynne Shotwell.

Poor Stan Marsh was finally away from Earth, and now flew all the way to an alternate universe, where his new advenure begun, when reached the planet Soror.


End file.
